And it hurt so bad....

After every high point, there comes a low point. I had an outrageous and almost electric argument with one of my family member. I was so hurt and not angry only extremely sad. It was over something stupid, but the argument point out as so many arguments have pointed out to me. It just hurt so bad that I needed to draw on the power of God. I wanted to keep myself from shaking and every memory of argument just flooded my spirit. When we argue with someone close to us it always a very painful experience. After the terrible storm, there comes a serenity. Usually, I would have reacted differently and while I handle it better than before I still have a long ways to go. I guess I have extreme karma with this person. I just wanted to understand what was the real problem. We project out to the world and sometimes an individual like me acts as a mirror. I don't know what it is about me that brings this about, but perhaps I transmute the negativity eventually into positivity. Basically, my brother was pointing out and attacking my character. When someone does this to us it's usually that they see the flaw in themselves. They are using you as a mirror for their troubles. For me being on the receiving end, I was quite hurt. It shouldn't have escalated to that level of negativity which leads me to believe that I've regressed, but I prayed long and hard. I prayed God to just hold these feelings for a moment while I collect myself. I know that this was an opportunity for me to see. I saw too many things to write. It may feel sometimes that we've regressed by the way we handle our daily life. As for me, it was truly eye opening. I'm still hurting, but I will be okay. I will walk in the valley even if the water rises above my head. This is one of those moment where faith can really just move you along. From my experience, it hurts so bad because of the karmic relationship dissolving. I didn't want to assign blame or victimized myself. I wanted to get deep down where all the negativity was coming from. I haven't found the source and I can tell you that even as I type this, this calmness that I feel is with great work with the Source. I can't do this by myself and we shouldn't try to. If this happens to you find your power, walk away from the hurt, let it go, and have faith in the workings of the universe.

 

Edit*

Some people tend to get so preachy with this stuff. Okay, somethings need to be felt and dealt with. Perhaps this person is reflecting me as I was. Regardless there are some lessons that we as individual have to learn by ourselves. We should not interfere in this case though we may want to. I've spent all my life dealing with the person about matters and each time I've been on the receiving end of seemingly irrational attacks that have nothing to do with the situation at hand. I try to chew these events over and over and I'm not going to take it anymore. I am not going out of anger or sadness. Merely I am putting my foot down for what is acceptable and not for me. I will not and should not have to subject myself to this kind of lashing. This person merely uses me and then drains me of my positivity then the next day I see them they act as if nothing has happen. They unleash their fears and anger on me, doing as they please and not caring if I am hurting or not, while every chance I get I have tried to see why and understand their perspective. I am tired of trying to see the point to their actions. In life, we will be met with such opposition. I wish him the best I really do, but I will not have my life going this way anymore and maybe this time this argument has brought to my attention that a little self-esteem is overdue and the way we were carrying on is not right. We want to spread peace and love I get it. I get the idea of advancing consciousness, but this is the shadow. The shadow that needs to be dealt with. You cannot ignore the actions of another when it is detrimental to your growth and theirs. I have no retaliation and been looking inwards to see. I will not remain apathetic about these things nor paint them as something they're not. There's a reality that needs to be change and I will do my best to change it.

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Comments

  • You're doing good sir.  Keep to your way and you will see.

    That the mirror is a two way thing.  That he is a reflection of you and you of him.

    You're hiding from something just as he is (just as I am and everybody else in this world...).

     

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