Messy Antic Complex... a battle with self
In 1975, at 18 in my first year of college living in the honors dorm, I was taken into and beyond the Light that is referenced in spiritual texts and related to in Near Death Experiences. Some case studies also refer to the Messianic or Messiah Complex that can occur as a result. After being asked if I was willing to die for what I believed in during a meditation. I was told what I am here to do and then returned to my body with full consciousness of this ‘mission.’ What was it?
Yes, I'd heard a voice since childhood that was a trusted companion by this time and no, I wasn't on drugs. The latter always seems to be a question, especially for that time period. I totally understand because that kind of experience was quite rare and virtually no one had an direct experience to which they could relate. I get that. Today, many Boomers are seeking to have such experiences of unity with the divine after
spending a lifetime of chasing the almighty buck and realizing it just isn't that fulfilling. Money can't buy love, but it sure seems to rent it for a while. It is short-lived at best.
So what was the experience like? Words are a strained attempt at description no matter how eloquent the word-smithing. Initially I was in a deep meditation while listening to Journey's first album, a song called 'In the Morning Day.' Between the verse and the vamp was a guitar riff that sounded like a supersonic jet whisking by in an instant. Time stood still for a moment as I heard, "Bruce, are you willing to die for what you believe in?" I thought about Christ or Cosmic Consciousness and immediately said, "Yes!"
And then the riff... I felt a slight tug upward and I let go, turning to see my body laying across the dorm room bed (honors dorm at BSU). I turned back to see where I was going and without so much as a blink of an eye I was surrounded by white light.
I felt like I was home, truly home. I could see and think but, as an impetuous teenager I soon grew bored of the solitary light and asked if there was more. Then came another tug. I went with it again.
I went from being surrounded by Light to a place where I saw points of light all around like a sphere with an indigo background. I instinctively knew these were points of consciousness. Whether in body or not was the question... I wasn't and I knew it.
As if to acknowledge my recognition, the voice began again, "These are those that you are to work with in order to facilitate a new world order. It will happen in your lifetime. Know this to be true. Your path will be full of trials and tribulations. Have faith and trust that everything you need with be there at the appointed time. Trust and allow."
According to the 'voice' that resumed after my recognition of the those points, I am to work with them in order to facilitate a new world order...a fusion and synergy of material and spiritual worlds. I was ecstatic to say the least. But as a teenager, what can you really do? Who can you talk to? What can you say after an experience like that? Did I even dare?
The first human place in consciousness was to want to announce to the world that I AM HERE, believing that I AM THE ONE. What a foolish notion of a selfless mind. I read years later that a long-standing spiritual teaching is 'to know, to dare, to do and to be silent.' My personality could not handle the truth at the time. My soul had been ignited with a vision and I had not the spiritual maturation to remain quiet. I told my adoptive parents, my friends, my teachers and even went to the preachers just off campus to find out how they would respond to such an experience.
I figured if it was so real, then there would have to be some correlation somewhere. Instead of answers or intelligent discussion I got ostracized and sent to a psychiatrist. Fortunately, the shrink had some sense beyond common and was able to help me coagulate the possibilities. Over the years I've found the challenge is to make sense common.
My exuberance in sharing my story was the beginning of what the field of psychology and more specifically psychiatry calls the ‘messianic complex.’ I felt like I had all the answers and neededto share them with the world, even though 'the answers' really didn't make sense to anyone, me included. There was no 'how to' included in the experience. It was a most unhealthy and unappreciated place to be for the aspirant of divine guidance who wishes to remain free of attachments, but can only express from a child-like place at that time.
Okay, so there are no veils and I don't need to be 'The One.' So what's next? Often the messenger gets hung up on the message and becomes its icon rather than a simple conduit of information. I was no different. A few years later, I was busy with family.
Since that time, I’ve observed that identity is really of no consequence in the delivery of new information or clarification of the mysterious in order for the 'magic' of life to become present. Too often identity, assumed or projected, simply gets in the way. Our minds want to categorize and label instead of just listening and observing. Telling is not training, I've heard so often. It's all chatter that does absolutely no good when 'stillness' is the message.
We engage the 'do and have' in life without the core of 'being' that ignites the union of spirit and matter; religion - reunion with God. We get caught up in the chatter and think ourselves separate. We allow those who instruct us to continue the lie that we are separate from creation and need to give our power to someone else as our intercessor. In my continued studies, I've found that to be the opposite of what was intended. It is most profoundly revealed in the translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls where the statement, "Don't you know that you are god as I am god," is made.
At our core we have a direct connect. But, we have to be very still, even silent, to hear the voice of BEing within. This is an extreme challenge beyond any extreme sport today, as distractions and interruptions are present everywhere and vie for our attention at every moment. The Information Age and the rapidity of getting our needs met, satiating our senses, has spoiled us to a great degree. We've grown to understand the affects of our actions on the environment and are striving to change our consumer and manufacturing habits. The idea of 'reduce, reuse and recycle' is gaining more attention and relevance as we understand the nature of unbridled self-indulgence and a capitalistic consumer-driven economy of our own making. But what of the material?
The material plane needs references. As one of the many paradoxes in the discovery of Self, I’ll elaborate further and hopefully shed some light on the subject. It is probably one of the most profound realizations one can have on the path of discovery. It was for me and according to the Mayans, 'I'm just another you,' so by proxy you are getting this as well or it may be just a verification of what you already know to be true. In order to truly find it [truth], one has to let go of everything held within the sphere of attachments, beliefs included. Huh?
The Mayans phrase 'in lak'ech' means, 'I am another you,' and remains as an example of their wisdom. Another similar word comes from Sanskrit - namaste'. It means, roughly translated, 'I worship that which is within you,' or 'the divine in me recognizes the divine in you.' I think there was another phrase more familiar to the Western world, "Love thy neighbor as thy self."
But how do we gain understanding, let alone apply this wisdom today? Experience, both internal and external, is the ultimate teacher in establishing a congruent reality that balances our inner and outer polarities, bringing a state of harmony within and without. In a very real sense it would engage the ability to see the harmony in the chaos first. From the eye of the storm, we begin to see order, patterns and understanding of how things work. The experience of truth comes from 'being' not doing, although most humans prefer the latter. If I can truly serve these points of light, then this may be a place to begin. I found later that the feeling is consistent in both the Void and the Light, a singularity sublimely encompassed by the ONE. We are told that all things are connected, affected by thought and feeling. How and why?
As we progress in consciousness, our goal is Cosmic Consciousness, or something similar in meaning according to spiritual texts - ancient and present. Now it would be easy to see how one with such a profound experience at such a young age would attach himself to this belief, not realizing its downfalls. What I mean by that is there are many, both male and female, who have reached a state of consciousness where they believe themselves to be THE ONE and launched their operation to prove it.
This [launching] is prevalent in 'awakening' to the Divine, 'The Dream' latent and poised for birth within us all takes us to a place of Unity. Like Buckminster Fuller once said, "Unity is plural and, at a minimum, is two." They [early initiates without discernment] also become so attached to it that their focus becomes telling everyone else that they are THE ONE, whether verbally or nonverbally, and espousing grandiose concepts of living in love while their messages are more about separation among humanity, placing them at a pivotal point in the hierarchy.
Living in love is important in deed. It is action from awareness. Our foundation as spiritual/physical beings is based in loving and being loved. We also must realize that this identity thing is great, but really superficial. We are all Christ... Buddha... Muhammad... even God. “Yeah, but I AM THE ONE!” resounds internally in many still as they feel they are the only one with a 'mission' of importance.
What is important to distinguish is the essence of the message... light and love promote honesty and integrity in worldly affairs, not dominance and submission to dogmatic structures. However, there is a congruence in all experiences of a metaphysical or spiritual nature... a profound sense of relief and release... a reunion with the essence of life....LOVE. Limitless Oscillating Vibrational Energy. True servants of THE ONE - gurus, masters and sages today - would fall into this category.
Okay, so you are THE ONE. So what? What’s next? What do you do? How do you act? Better still, how do you LEAD as The One? Even Jesus is quoted as saying, 'don't ye know that ye are gods?' Once you realize that you are Christ or God, what is next? As Divine Incarnates, sons and daughters of God with a little maturity, we have certain obligations to the nature of our creation. The Cultural Creatives concept introduced 'world servers' as an operative term for those with conscience and consideration for harmony among people and planet.
Do we need to dissect our world like scientists in order to understand it or would it be better to inquire and let it reveal itself through the natural consciousness it holds and our ability to connect to it. We are still here, still in body, still within the world of physicality and its natural laws and order. Feel like a fish out of water? What’s the catch? You've got the net. What's in it? Why not cast it out again now?
Well, the catch of the day is that ONE [Source] turns into MANY, rising above their own identity issues, to collaborate with others to actually do something about manifesting this new living awareness we call LOVE - harmony among people and planet. Apparently the 'trinity' that seems to be present in all major religions actually shows up as the proton, neutron and electron - Intelligently condensed into form. Help us, we've fallen and we can't get up! This should all be making sense beyond any reasonable doubt or you've come to the wrong place. It is also nearly impossible to comprehend without a direct experience of it, but the intellectual conditions now extend into the field of quantum sciences.
For instance, the carbon atom (6 protons, 6 neutrons and 6 electrons) is indeed the number of man from scriptural reference ... interpreted with understanding (science) in a simple and elegant fashion. In turn, the Trinity (3 spheres of consciousness beyond our comprehension) manifests in our world as the proton, neutron and electron (matter) with intelligent efficacy and we are learning, still, what 'having dominion' entails as conscious beings, spiritual beings having a human experience.
We've been too close to the prize to even realize it is there, staring at us in the face. All things are possible. We are possibilities coagulators - co-creators. All things are connected in this place, just like quantum mechanics is proving and spiritual masters have said for millennia. The 'Secret' reveals what we think and feel strongly we manifest in our lives, whether we believe this to be true or not. Some are just more aware of it than others.
More recent discoveries and understanding of the Mayan calendar back up the notion that humanity and the cosmos evolves in cycles. First we are ignorant of the whole, self-indulgent and oblivious of the consequences. As we become more self-aware we also become more other-aware. So as we see or manifest change in ourselves, our world changes - the organizations, people and systems created without the understanding or wisdom of 'spiritual' integrity are falling apart as part of the transition... naturally.
Transformation is taking place all around us, so why not make it part of us? We haven't learned to play together well and support life-enhancing actions. The close of the Mayan calendar, as discovered recently, is about learning how to be conscious co-creators - becoming what we were destined to be as grown up sons and daughters of God.
At this phase, identity becomes anon-issue. One (holistic systems thinking) becomes present and acts as ethical and integral components of a 'Self-Sustaining' organism. Leaders lead without regard of personal gain or reward, simply the accomplishment of collective goals drives their spirit. We all know of our paths and THE WORK. Why do you think it is called that? The Work transforms ego into wego. Jobarchy is the new business or work culture - the job is the boss and everyone wins.
Would it make sense that all this talk about the ’ might indeed mean that this is the ‘Collective Messiah’ at work? The voice that springs from the depths of our listening and operates at the speed of surrender gently guides every relevant event, even the irrelevant when we are open to perceiving from a different point of view. A point of perspection (perception integrated with introspection) dances in the balance of the seer's vision.
What about all the others who have intricately drawn plans for environmentally sound villages, free energy devices, or new technologies to help return dignity to those who wish to work toward the good of everyone? They all need help, support and zealots in the marketplace. Surely we could not be so pompous as to believe that we can do it ‘alone.’ Separation is what happens more often than not because we cannot get our ego attachment to identity out of the way, the idea that we 'own' our ideas or anything in the world for that matter.
If we're only here a short time, then true humility is to serve the people without attachment to outcome, being guided by the simple nature of addressing what shows up right in front of you. Fear is bankrupt. Love is the new currency in this new world order. It is a tough transition because of the deep-seated belief systems to the contrary.
Once balance is found in your immediate surroundings and within your emotional bodies, then greater opportunities are presented by those who guide us all from places we may not even be aware of yet. Indeed, there are many worlds interacting simultaneously. In recent times 'M theory' presents the same concept from a quantum math/science perspective...many dimensions of reality.
Subtle levels of energy, like the energy centers of the body, built precept upon precept in the construction of the Universe, waiting to be discovered by the progeny of its creators. This is the fulfillment of prophecy ordained thousands upon thousands of years ago. We are nearing the age of enlightenment? How about the beginning of a new galactic cycle?
Do we exercise sound mind and heart choices in this new living awareness? We must recognize that polarizing to any ID… whether it be Jesus or Lucifer… still separates. Balance is the key. Harmony the goal. Becoming aware of what and where we pretend is real and being about the business of tending to the needs of our divine callings is simpler than one might think. The carbon atom unites us all as one race, with similar relationships on the ocean of emotion.
Awareness empowers the ego to act in accordance with spiritual principles, released from paradigm paralysis. This paralysis is being transcended with the close of the galactic year, 2012 being noted by the Egyptian, Mayan and Sumerian calendars. Three separate sources say the same thing.
Please refrain from considering this to be a fanatical religious approach to solving the world's problems. It is far from it. We are all familiar with the Jesus story, yet we miss the quest to integrate a LOVE of our whole being, the good, the bad, and the ugly so to speak. We have to find the splinters and pluck them out, especially in our own eyes.
Many are claiming to be incarnations of various influential folk down through the centuries, yet they still are unable to remove the mask to reveal their own individual identity, choosing to identify with an archetypal image rather than their own Divine Nature. Humanity can only hear previous messengers? We might call this the Cosmic Conundrum. Who Am I? What am I here to do? Just look right in front of you. The closing cycle of the galactic year will do that for you regardless of whether you desire it or not. Conscious co-creation manifests what you think and feel strongly, regardless of its fear of love base.
How do we find, accept, and then live our own individual Path connected to the ONE? It is one thing to be self-initiated, the Path where many are called and few choose. It is quite another to claim to BE the ONE, as in the case of many professing to be the return of Jesus, Mohammed, Mary, Lucifer, Isis, St. Germain, Maitreya, or whomever. It would seem we have a spiritual epidemic of polyphrenia, many personalities, in that many past personalities are showing up in the claims of current cosmic corners.
For one in simple observance, it appears the Universe is trending a new and improved product, an evo-leap for mankind. The dualists would still have you concerned that the Islamic birth rate is quadruple that needed to sustain a culture, so the infidels are in danger. Step beyond the separation and realize we are all people on one planet... yes ONE PLANET.
Indeed something is happening.... just what? Why would one identity incarnate so many times AT THE SAME TIME? Seems a bit confusing, eh? Obviously something is being missed in the process. How does it all fit together without distortion? How can we find FLOW and then live in it as much as possible?
The point of wisdom just might be to recognize that when one attaches identity to themselves, especially in self-proclaiming ways, then the likelihood of the ‘reality’ is probably minuscule.
About the time you confess to 'knowing' it simply means you have much to learn. Truth is evidenced by everything surrounding the point, or person as the case may be. Only by continuing to release attachment to ‘identity’ can one truly find their perfect path, free of the continued subtle effects of the ego desiring to be in control, which creates a polarizing paradigm paralysis.
Truly… there is NO EGO without WEGO in the current best practices of Spiritual Evolution. A true spiritual master claims no ownership of the Divine flowing through them. They allow the process without attachment to outcome, giving freely their concepts, ideas, heart, mind, spirit, soul and wisdom. Deep within there is a residing 'knowing' and 'trust' of the process.
If we knew that Satan came from the Greek 'Thetan' and only meant 'thinker' then we might realize there is no devil, only our own misguided thinking. Lucifer might be just a celestial consciousness that was given the edict to 'condense into form' to show other celestial beings how to do it... a natural evolutionary process presented in the book Biocosm by a lawyer and noted by Nietzsche as, 'God just wants to have playmates.'
As humans, it is rare that we are able to live in such an awareness and reflection of the Divine within us. The Collective Messiah or the Cosmic Consciousness prevailing in many ‘world servers’ now is an example of the progress toward true ONENESS. Each has a gift, just as important as the next. It is not the size of the gift, or the manner in which it is delivered. It is the fact that it is used that is important. We all can note how information technology has escalated the amount of information available to digest and we still have a hard time managing it. What might a download of cosmic consciousness do to the Internet?
May we all find that ONE in our hearts and share it with the Many who are also here on the planet now as our brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, grand mothers and fathers, and even great grandmothers and grandfathers. The Earth is our relative, too, as well as all species of flora and fauna - plants and animals. What about the other relatives that are looking on, encouraging us to grow and mature? The media tend to sensationalize fear-based activities because of the emotional impact. Imagine what a rush of love-based activity might generate. Our ancestors await. They are watching too.
The only way that we can truly exemplify the Cosmic Consciousness that we so profess is through leading by example just as Jesus or Buddha did, by letting go and offering ourselves to the Divine Flow that permeates ALL THAT IS in us. It begins with love, often through forgiveness and gratitude, and embraces even the darkest corners of ourselves and others; not to condone or condemn, simply to be aware beyond denial. When we fear, we act from our smallness. When we love, we act from our limitlessness. We can FEEL the difference. Don't just believe it... BE it. Test this understanding for yourself. Put it on the chopping block of the scientific method, try to poke as many holes in it as you possibly can. Let the Truth reveal itself to you personally.
To fool ourselves into believing that we are separate from anything is another false belief, yet the polarity paradigm seems to edify it [separation] still. How do we get beyond this? How do we move beyond duality? How about recognizing that all things are available to those that believe? Believe in what? LOVE… limitless oscillating vibrational energy. This is what we know as 'SOURCE'... unlimited unqualified energy, just waiting to be shared. It would qualify as Oneness, inclusive of aberrant or incongruous notions of choice. Changing the mindset to align with heart consciousness is the challenge now; reaching congruence with LOVE.
Energy is active and so we must BE active. We are far more advanced technologically than in the times of Jesus, and yet the WORD is still in our HEARTS and the KINGDOM OF GOD IS WITHIN. What we seek to do now is to make the WITHIN WITHOUT… BE in the world as we know it. It does not mean to be in some convoluted notion of the world as you think it might be or someone else says it is. It is up to each of us to explore it; to inquire or question authority on our own. We can do it silently within as we engage a situation that warrants further inquiry, or we can challenge those in authority roles at work, in our community and in the leadership of our state or nation.
Jesus said to 'Love thine enemy. Feed them if they are hungry, give them water if they are thirsty.' We deny ourselves opportunity when we judge harshly. Then we find ourselves living what we just judged. Maybe, just maybe, we need to learn to love our own 'evil' too.When we can love the worst in ourselves and others, then we can begin to address these features in positive ways, resolving and rehabilitating rather than resisting their obvious existence.
Imagine being able to operate from outside emotions, beyond prejudice, completely free of separative notions. How? Well, there is an interesting meditation you can experiment with to understand a process that can lead you there. Put your fingertips together and feel your heartbeat for as long as you possibly can. When you can stop thinking and just feel your heartbeat, then you might be able to hear and see differently.
This WORK takes nothing short of ultimate cooperation and collaboration from the depths of our Souls, where it is natural and in divine order, simply by choosing to embrace ourselves as we are and opening to possibility or change of mind. It is called 'metanoia,' a change of mind. What are we to do? We each have gifts as well as skill sets we've garnered from living in this world. Would it not make sense to honor these, bridging our inner and outer worlds now? Is it possible to make sense common? Only when we do this individually can we do it collectively, sharing our wealth and our wisdom through demonstrating how to work together for the greater good.
Attachments to identity or ownership of ideas only get in the way of this process of progress toward a new world order of harmony among people and planet. Our individual contributions create tributaries that feed the river of life. Still, some are better prepared and/or have natural inclinations toward certain functional roles. The dynamics of the evolving life-force within us guides us to our fulfillment. Finding solace in the Heart of Creation comes from forgiveness of self, others, and situations that have not met our expectations. Our worst personal enemies are unspoken unfulfilled expectations. Even the most advanced souls still have expectations and they are constantly vigilant of the need to detach and forgive. How does this fit with your own personal experience?
There is a natural order of movement within this Collective Messiah as we each bring our offerings, our willingness, to give to the whole. This is not a new cult or sect of any particular religion. It rises above them all. Many are experiencing delays in what they feel are important projects for the world, yet they refuse to relinquish ‘control’ of their ideas and how they are to be implemented. Wouldn’t it make sense to combine all ideas, as the natural process would synergize them into a greater potential for actual manifestation? This is a lesson it seems we are still learning. Can we rise above our confusion? It is time we changed our condition.
Could we actually choose to bring all our talents and skills together and WILLINGLY SHARE them? Do you think that you, personally, would be willing to offer your most vulnerable secrets for the benefit of the entire world? That was a trick question. See how easy your conditioning shows up? Believing that there are secrets might be your first step in an undesirable direction. There are no secrets when you reach this level of awareness. This does not mean that we 'know everything' yet instantaneous answers to pertinent questions often occur. Master Teachers can facilitate and lead the way for a new living awareness to permeate the planet.
In reality, whatever we choose, the polardigm [polarity paradigm] leads us hOMe. From the place of extremes, we can recognize all the paths of the paradox and how they benefit us all to learn the ways of LOVE.. Limitless Oscillating Vibrational Energy. As a Zen master once said, “There is interaction if there is a call for it, no interaction if there is no call for it.” It would seem that the Universe is calling for it now as we have entered the new millennium. The calendars are closing the old and beginning the new. The world is ripe for change as we consider how to align with better stewardship of people and planet.
Faith, trust and allowance in this new living awareness is the Way, the ultimate showing of strength on the Path. We begin to gather together now in celebration of our birthright, understanding that we are all part of the ONE, each with our personal path that compliments the whole. Knowing is showing. Showing is caring. Caring is giving. Giving is receiving to others. Receiving is the limitless love pouring through our minds, hearts and bodies toward reunion with Source in the Oneness - the People and Planet paradigm. As we move forward the resistance to change is replaced by the desire to let go of the impedance. We encourage each other with renewed relationships. There is no emotion in the Kingdom of Heaven. It's all good. The binary disc decoded: "Beware of the bearer's of gifts and the broken promises. Much pain but still time. Believe there is good out there. We oppose deception."
As each of our masks is revealed in our discovery process, we allow the ONE to play through our actions in the ultimate play of life, love and happiness for all. All things are possible to those who believe. I believe every day provides us with a new opportunity to do things better. I believe that I am here to help facilitate a new world order of harmony among people and planet; a new millennium mindset congruent with the design of our creation. May our dreams mold future realities. Better yet, we may mold possibilities into reality with each now discovery.
Amen... women... human... whoopeee!
Alrightythen... having said all that...
What is your experience? What are your thoughts and feelings toward finding balance in this effort to wed heaven and earth... the marriage of celestial consciousness in human form?