is ascension real ?
is starseed real ?
is disclosure real ? even if yes, then what ?
at 32 years old now, and sadly still a loser & supposedly a "starseed" (although I honestly now sadly doubt if this whole thing is real or just another irresponsible human-made fantasy / imagination / wishful thinking / escape from reality ) , I've now come to a point of very depressed, identity & existential crisis, shattered, disillusioned with almost Everything in this so-called "reality / real world / real life" , misanthrope, and even suicidal...!
I pretty much disappointed my (chinese/asian) parents' expectations of me (to run a "successful business that makes lots of money, supposedly for my own future & 'stable financial security'),
I am therefore technically still jobless,
I am very lost & confused, and ironically, even getting so much worse, after reading/researching & knowing all about this whole "Ascension, Starseeds, Indigo, Disclosure, etc etc" things that sadly just doesn't seem to really happen (physically) yet. everything about those things are still just very vague, IMHO, and even sadly a lot of irresponsible & 'lowly' scams, lies, full of snake-oil men, full of the typical usual 'lowly' human's selfish "fame and fortune" gains (by false teachers, spiritual gurus, mentors, coaches, motivators, seminars, channelings,...and the 'sad' list goes on...!)
even when I know & am aware & also are often (even until now) told that I am highly smart/intelligent, wise, multi-talented (most especially in Music) , I feel that in the end, amidst this very harsh, cruel, mundane, boring, & LIMITED "reality / real world / real life", all those things/EVERYTHING are still amount to almost NOTHING ! simply because:
1) We are now , honestly in Reality / realistically & truthfully , are living in the "all about Money" era. where almost EVERYTHING about "success" is only measured simply & only by how much money you can make, and/or if you are famous / popular ("fame & fortune") , society (& humanity) is now becoming very materialistic, shallow, superficial, & short-tempered & short-minded. I feel that now/today, MOST humans/people don't really CARE about many other *important* humane qualities such as: passion, compassion, Honesty, Integrity, Creativity, Dreams, Freedom of Expression, love, genuine, care & empathy for/with each other & Nature & the planet, etc etc. instead, again, everything is nowadays only measured MOSTLY by one simple single thing: Money.
so if now I still -sadly/ironically- am not 'smart/good enough' at "making money" skills, also don't like to lie/cheat/trick other people/humans just in order to use them to make money for myself, then now I am doomed / a *loser* , in this ever-increasingly Capitalistic "modern" society.
so all my 'multi-talents' are basically for NOTHING, if I am not good/smart at making money. period.. !
2) Sadly , no, VERY sadly, 90% of people/humans (or perhaps even 99% !!) still think -and they somehow really deserve to think so! I'll explain more soon why- that this PHYSICAL, MATERIAL Life / Reality is ALL THERE IS ! and NOTHING more !
People are becoming increasingly atheist , only believing in "YOLO" (You Only Live Once" materialistic/physical concept of living, and seek only materialistic pursuits, goals, targets, and "success" . Nothing more ... !
However, the SADDEST thing also is for all these so-called 'alternative / fringe' communities such as the "Spiritual" community (like in this ashtarcommandcrew forum/blog), New Age, and then also the whole "Truth-ers / Truthseekers", Ascension, Starseeds, Indigo, whiste-blowers, etc etc... All of them still sadly/unfortunately haven't given ENOUGH HARD, SOLID PROOF(s) of other "realities" existing, other than this very limited 'material / physical' ("3D") Reality !
or, even if they already DID, yet, it's all either too vague, contradictory with each other, full of inconsistencies, dis-beliavable-ity, and worst of all: full of dishonesties, scams, hoaxes, lies, & snake-oil men EVERYWHERE ! .. that no wonder it makes those 90% 'ordinary /average Joe' people/humans in our everyday's daily life to have such a VERY HARD time believing, or more importantly to *critically* believe in what you all said here. also the other very sad fact is: even some very HONEST skeptics & also "truthseekers" are often getting deleted, kicked out of the forum, banned, etc, just for simply being REAL HONEST & asking some very *PRACTICAL* & SINCERE questions regarding the PROOF of whether those 'non-physical realities' things are really real, or just sadly another man-made fantasy / creative Imagination / wishful thinking that are NOT based in everyday's harsh, cold Reality ... !
So thus therefore, in conclusion, it almost *honestly* seems like NOTHING really happens so far,
and here I am (or perhaps even some or many of us here) still feeling ever lost, confused, clueless, about : 1) whether all those things are really REAL (or *going* to be real soon) , or just a pretty fantasy only (to escape from reality!) , 2) most importantly then, what I (or we) have to DO, especially after we have 'swallowed the red pill & go down the deep rabbit hole' (borrowing popular/famous quote from The Matrix series movie) and learned HEAVILY about all these 'Non-Physical' things (or "realms/dimensions/realities" ,..whatever) !?
What do I have to DO now ??? ...
or perhaps, is everything now TOO LATE , and neither of you can give me some *practical* answers ?... should I perhaps just give up to this 'harsh, cold, dry, mundane, boring, & very LIMITED' everyday's Reality / real world / real life , and just commit suicide ?? ... (come to think about it,..now that I am heavily depressed, existential crisis, lost, confused, clueless, and feeling that perhaps I have taken too many WRONG PATHS , ironically, by learning & 'filling my brain' with all these 'Non-Physical' stuff that are still not STRONGLY PROVEN / HARD PROOFs , and that perhaps everything then is maybe thus already TOO LATE for me, realistically / in reality (!) ,... then maybe suicide is NOT a bad idea after all...)
please help... sincerely & in practical, detailed ways ... I lost hope already ...
-a (supposedly...) "Starseed" , 32 years old from Indonesia-