Two pieces of rope walk into a bar wanting a cold one on a hot July day. Hanging above the big picture of the reclining naked lady with her privates barely covered by a feather fan is a sign saying: "We don't serve rope!"
Well, the thirsty pieces of rope decide to try for a cold draft anyway. The burly barkeep just jerks his thumb up at the sign and says: "Beat it, ropes!"
Back out in the hot alley, one of them says: "Wait a minute, I've got an idea!" He starts to twist himself up in a screwed up and contorted manner. Then he rubs the strands on his end messing them up to look all ragged and straggly. He tells his partner to do the same and they slyly mince back into the bar.
Back at the bar under the "no rope" sign, the barkeep comes over looking sideways and suspiciously at them and says: " You two look kind of familiar. You wouldn't happen to be rope, now, would you?"
The clever rope screws up his courage, sticks out his chest and firmly states: "Nope, frayed knot!"
Replies
Chortle, chortle, yuk, yuk, nyuk, ho, ho, hee, haw, .......barf... :) I wish I wasn't on the wagon. That one makes me feel the need for a couple of pints just to get the image out of my mind! Thanks, I think.....
i watch the sky alot and love watching the sky there was a brilliance in the sky that day i had my parents out shopping i dont shop i stay in the car lol and it was a beautifully amazing sky. how can we not smile when we look at such beauty.
thats funny and now its even funnier since i use to be a bartender lol
There is this great bar in Kodiak Alaska where they sometimes stay open past sunup. It was named the "Breakers Bar" after the breakers out in the harbor past the fishing boats. Small bar with a horshoe shaped bar and all the all night partiers would end up there, drunk as all get out. Had a great jukebox full of 60's and 70's rock tunes only a nickle a tune. One night I stopped my crewmate from biting off this drunken fool's nose when he kept pestering my crewmate about what a great fighter he was and started to lay a hand on him after being warned to stop. My crewmate was a French Foreign legion Veteran and wasn't someone to play at bullying with. After I grabbed the guys arms and saved his nose for him, from the other side of the horseshoe bar rings this woman's loud voice: "Hemmoroids are NOT FUNNY!" Hemmoroid was a popular description used by many skippers to show their affection for their crew. The cool thing about this bar, other than the great jukebox, was the way the drunken patrons brought and provided great entertainment. After the fool went off to pester someone else with his nose still attached, my french crewmate and good friend thanked me for preeventing him from having to get drastic with the poor fool as that fool was about twice his size and he would of been forced to pull an "automatic dirty trick" like that just to survive the musclebound idiot. That is where I learned the "rope " joke.
....Lol... Phylos....The Dumb Jokes Are Improving.....This Ones Far Better....:)......Even More Interesting.....How You Came About This Joke.....Enjoyed Reading......:).....Hugz......<3......
awesome i was being bullied in school and they had me cornered i said hey you cant do this and they said why i said im allergic and they said what what to i said pain and i just stood there and they looked at me laughed and never messed with me again laughter is great medicine
I am happy to be of service :)