A lady was tired of her life.
All her friends had only good advices wanting to prevent her from commiting suicide.
Finally she felt of going to a woman who lived in small house with her disabled son; she was considered a healer without being able to heal her own son.
Take a seat, said the woman. And after a long time of silence she looked straight into the eyes of the tired lady.
Listen carefully, she said. If you want to commit suicide, you may go and do it. But do it consciously. I ask you to promise me by handshake while you loudly say: If I commit suicide, I`ll do it consciously!
The tired lady came home and felt very sleepy. She went to bed and had a dream of God speaking with her.
Lord, she said, I`m so tired of living, I want to make an end and commit suicide. I`m so sorry!
I know, God said.
Lord, the lady continued, I know this is a strange question, but could you commit suicide too?
Yes, I could, God answered, but there would be a big problem. I had absolutely nobody, and I mean really nobody, getting aware of it!
And both started laughing, and laughing the lady woke up and thought that getting aware of commiting suicide is like getting conscious of something unnecessary like forcing a bird to sing under water.
And since nobody is trying to force a bird to sing under water, nobody should try to end his life before it`s time to end. Both acts would be senseless.
Well, Lord she said, If you would commit suicide and you would be aware, that nobody would be aware of it, you choose to stay away from it and live. And if I would commit suicide and I would be aware of it I would see that there are those getting aware of it which love me - and I would give them an unnecessary burden.
You, Lord, if you commit suicide you would give the world the unnecessary gift of disappearance into nothing, and if I commit suicide I would give those who love me the unnecessary gift of disappearance into sadness. And you choose life because you love being instead of nothing, and if I choose life too I would love my burdens instead of throwing them to others without questioning. And since nothing means nothing and being means living and all that is, I should try now another day of living. Who knows, maybe I´ll say those words again tomorrow just to find another day! Ok, I´ll go!
And she took a shower and smiled while she was thinking about the promise she gave to the healer...
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