Trying to figure out who I am

Last night I spent the whole night feeling gutted, was crying and sad, thinking about the people who 'sit there' and 'say nothing' who fear 'personal persecution'. I even had to establish within myself whether I was a bad or a good person, basically whether I had conned 'myself' into believing 'stuff'. For the past few years I have read a small handful of channels, never really going back to these sites or joining them for their daily messages. I always wondered 'why I hadn't' and why I felt I did not need to hear it or be party to it in any way shape or form. Maybe when I was so sick, I just felt 'helpless' and spent time to 'get myself well' instead of readings into the fear and the slander, but now I believe my Higher Self simply felt it unnecessary to fill my head with 'shite' may I say. Now I am pulled to Greg Giles, and last night joined them on their website 'GFL'. I thought to myself, if I am a good person, a Lightworker true and true, then they will accept my request to 'join them' and if not, then I had some work to do on myself and real fast, as time is slipping by. I have been sharing these with my family, have had no comment as so far, which, well, saddens me really, for I know I am seen as eccentric by my own blood. This does not mean in anyway some do not love that which I do or say, or share, it does mean to say, one can mirror ones fear in being subjected to harassment from own family members and friends. We can choose to read comments mean't to hurt or undermine the very message we open ourselves up to sharing 'with all' in the absolute knowing that not all will be received gracefully or in the way of love from one member to another, yet still stand there as they may silently throw mud on our faces, or even go as far as commenting with verbal attack mean't to ruffle our feathers. I now realise it does not matter what is said to me by the sad few, all I can do is continue to be 'me' and say what I feel and not react to any one who feels the need to bite my head off. My head has been bitten all my life, it is something I did not realise until recently, it was simply a grooming for me to further my own growth, and be proud to say 'I do God's work' and not fear what may come from that via others misunderstandings or projections. ♥ Namaste ♥

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