Today, I Should Be Proud of How Far I've Come

And yet, I stare dead ahead at what's still to be accomplished. I suppose I'm impatient.

I don't know how to let my fears up gently, so they've been emerging in my dreams. I can't keep them pent up anymore. There's simply no room. Again and again they pound at me like waves, terrified as I am of getting to the point where thoughts manifest instantly. Has anyone heard of a disorder where you have frequent, unwanted, repetitive thoughts? It might be a product of repression. Anyone know any good tips for combating it?

 

I am so damned restless all the time, but I've developed a small case of agoraphobia. I do escape for short periods to roam the outside as I take in the day by day beauty of spring's conception. When I settle down somewhere, and totally relax, the sunlight magnetizes itself to my spot, and gentle breezes play with my hair, in a loving fashion. Yes, I can see the immediate and direct effect of my vibration. Then again, I live near Dallas, and beautiful as this particular neighborhood is... Nature isn't revered in this place. So sitting under a tree can be out of the ordinary. Unless, maybe, it were in the park, and I had a book... But I hate to have to stage myself.

 

What's more, communication between my twin and I is suffering a bit, I think, because we're both struggling with a lot on our own. We distract our own progress by fretting for the other, and I'm terrified of talking to him lately. Terrified that every time I open my mouth something stupid will come out. But our words are only formalities. There is nothing I can emotionally hide from him. I wouldn't want to. And a single flicker of my emotional vibration he picks up on instantly.

 

But... We've come too far to be pulled apart by even ourselves.

 

Now... Wish me luck because when the sun comes up I'm going to attempt to meditate. A difficult task in an area with no outdoor or indoor privacy... At least not that's suitably comfortable.

 

Namaste my friends

E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community to add comments!

Join Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community

Copyright Policy: Always Include 30-50% of the source material and a link to the original article. You may not post, modify, distribute, or reproduce in any way any copyrighted material, trademarks, or other proprietary information belonging to others without obtaining the prior written consent of the owner of such proprietary rights. If you believe that someone's work has been copied and posted on Ashtar Command in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, please Contact Us and include the links to these pages and relevant info. 

Latest Activity

Justin89636 replied to AlternateEarth's discussion “Leave the World Behind” movie about a grid down cyber apocalypse was ominously produced by Barack and Michelle Obama
"I Looked at some reviews of what people thought of this movie. Score on rotten tomatoes has Barry and his husband Big Mike's movie at only 35% for audiences while it says it's as low as 52% for Google users. Critics of course liked it, but they get…"
8 minutes ago
Justin89636 left a comment on Comment Wall
"Nice one AE congrats friend :)"
24 minutes ago
RandyFirstContact left a comment on Comment Wall
"Congratulations AE!!! 🎉 👏👏👏👏

I will definitely have to pick up a copy. I will look for it on Amazon and add it to my shopping list. 😊"
38 minutes ago
AlternateEarth left a comment on Comment Wall
"Austin -Macauley publishers, London, published my first book! Under my pen name-which is my middle name. I incorporated all the 'out there' stuff we at ACC have been talking about for years and years. I've been at the fringe since the late 80's…"
1 hour ago
AlternateEarth replied to AlternateEarth's discussion Weirdness at the Baltimore bridge collapse
"Drexk and Movella-I'd like to know about this 'Strangely, just a few hours before the collision, Baltimore Fire Department Chief James Wallace said that local authorities had detected the presence of vehicles in the water using sonar technology.'…"
1 hour ago
AlternateEarth posted a discussion
“Leave the World Behind” movie about a grid down cyber apocalypse was ominously produced by Barack and Michelle Obama03/28/2024 // S.D. Wells // 520 Views Tags: apocalypse, big government, chaos, China, Collapse, communism, communist China,…
1 hour ago
RandyFirstContact commented on Movella's blog post Arcturian visitations ✨
"Thanks for that Movella! After first contact, I am going to spend some time with my Sirian galactic mentor, a woman from the atar clan (not sure if I have her correct name) and may explore my akasha and adopt a Sirian name which is more aligned…"
2 hours ago
Movella commented on Movella's blog post Arcturian visitations ✨
"Good question Randy, which Drekx provided an excellent response too.
For further context, my soul name ‘Movella’ was discovered in the Akashic records and confirmed to us by our plejaren contact Quetzel..
In Atlantian times my name was ‘M’ovella’…"
2 hours ago
More…