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How to resolve conflicts with other people

Posted by Melchizedek on February 20, 2009 at 11:22am
One of the most important understanding and skills to develop in one`s Spiritual Path is the ability to resolve conflicts with other people in all types of relationships. From Joshua David Stone - Correspondance Course 7 - vol II - How to Develop and Refine Your Consciousness and Transcend the Negativ Ego/Fear-based/Separative/Dualistic/Illusionary/Selfish/Lower Self Mind and Emotions:http://www.iamuniversity.ch/-Correspondence-Course-7-1. The first principle in developing this understanding and skill with people you have a close personal relationship to is loving,open, honest communication of your thoughts of feelings. This should be done in a calm,rational,unconditionally loving manner.2.Principle two is the importance of avoiding arguments and attack thoughts and feelings when there is a difference of opinion.3. Always state your thoughts and feelings as "This is my personal opinion". and "personal perception". At all costs avoid being self-rightous even if you in your heart you know you are right.4. When bumping into differences of opinion and perception,frame the situation as "Let`s agree to disagree."5. Always frame the discussion in a "win/win" manner instead of a "win/lose" perspective.6. Take time to listen and really hear what the other person has to say,even if you disagree with where they are coming from.7. Strive not to be overly emotional and strive to remain as calm,objective,evenminded,and rational as possible.8. Frame your communication in the words "this is the lens that i see it from and you are seeing it from a different lens." This honors the other person`s lens even if you disagree with it.9. Pray to God,the Holy Spirit,the inner plane Ascended Masters,your Angels,and your Mighty I AM Presence(Sjelegruppe/Monad) for help in resolving the conflict before beginning communication. This can be done inwardly or openly with the other person as is appropriate.10. If you find your communication is becoming heated and both of your negative egos are becoming too involved,I highly recommened stopping all communication,but to say to the other person that your observation is that both of your negative egos and emotional bodies are becoming too engaged and you strongly prefer to end this discussion for now and continue it when both of you are more calm.11. Before entering into communication,even a day or more in advance, ask the Holy Spirit to undo the conflict on the inner plane and in each person`s subconscious and conscious program. Also,ask the inner plane Ascended Masters and Angels to heal the situation on the inner plane. This will actually get a lot of work of resolving the conflict completed before you ever start communicating consciously and verbally.12. When going into communication to resolve conflict always keep in mind thet proverbs "Do I want love or do I want to be right?" "Do I want God or do I want mye ego in this situation?" and "Do I want love and peace or conflict,fear and attack?"13. Before beginning your communication to resolve conflict,make a list on a piece of paper of all the key points and how you want to frame them so they will be more likely to be received in an open and and nondefensive manner.14. Go into the communication with your full personal power,unconditional love,attunement to God and Golden Bubble of Protection so you can respond instead of react.15. If the other person starts getting angry,attacking or coming from their negative ego,don`t catch their psychological disease,set a better example. It takes two to have a war, and if one person engages in one and the other person doesn`t,it can`t happen.16. Be the first to apologize and admit your mistakes. This may be one of the most important principles of all. I find most people and most Lightworkers being way too interested in defending their egos than striving for egolessness which is the true nature of God. Start your communication out by admitting your mistakes and apologizing for them before ever mentioning the other person`s mistakes. This will throw the other person completely off guard,and will set the tone for a Christed communication rather than ego battle.17. Be the first to forgive no matter how much you have been wronged.18. Choose your battles carefully,for there are certain battles that are just not worth fighting.19. Always remember,there is a time to talk and a time to be silent, and sometimes the best form of communication is silence. Honesty does not mean you have to say everything. True mature honesty means you say what is appropiate, as God would have you say it, to gain maximum results in a Spiritual and Earthly manner.20.Remember that the person you are in conflict with is an incarnation of God/dess,is a Son or Daughter of God/dess,is the Christ,is the Buddha,is the Atma,and is the Eternal Self,in Truth. Treat them as such even if they are not demonstrating it.21. Be more concerned about learning your lessons than teaching other people their lessons. Leave that to God.22. In my humble opinion, I would rather lose an argument,lose material gain,be seen as the loser of the disagreement,and still have unconditional love,oneness with God,inner peace and harmony than the opposite.

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