I know I’m not alone in finding quite a few people somewhere between mildly annoying and utterly infuriating. If you experience this negativity too I have a bitter pill for us to swallow. We are the problem!

Our reaction to other people reveals more useful information about us than about them. When we experience a person negatively it’s a reflection of some darkness in ourselves.

Our negative judgements about other people could be said to stem from our egos desire to justify and so defend our narrow and immature position. We put other people down to raise ourselves up, blaming them for our uncomfortable feelings rather than taking responsibility to understand ourselves more deeply.

Essentially you get an emotional fear based reaction to a person then look for details to justify the false facts.

Beneath the stories you make up to validate your ill feeling are a basic set of real reasons for your negative experience.

These include that the other person is different to you. The fear here is that you’ll change in some way towards theirs. The opportunity is to trust yourself to evolve.

It might be that they’re the same as you in a way that you’re trying to deny in yourself. The fear is that your own self-loathing will show. The chance is to accept all you are and all you’re becoming.

Perhaps you envy the person and so seek chinks in their presentation to diminish your sense of shame.  The fear is that you’re no good. The real shame is your failure to be inspired to reach higher.

It could be that other person refuses your influence. The fear is you don’t have respect and power. In fact your ideas either missed the mark or failed to nail the communication. Your self-respect doesn’t require their agreement!

If you’ve the courage to see the real rationale behind your negativity and change your attitude all the horrible people you perceive will disappear.