As night stretches across the skies

After all that was done

I’m left here

Begging to God

To help me

How am I going to get through this

I gotta get through this

Your honeyed words

Does nothing to quench

These raging emotions
Let me feel what I need to feel

Breathing out

Flowing out is sporadic rationality

Don’t preach to me

What I must do

Patience and forgiveness

Is not for them it’s for me

Every time a blow is dealt

And the sharpened tongue

Draws emotional wounds

This night is not merely external

As I am brought down

From all that I’m feeling

Saying a prayer to myself

Let me allow peace into my mind

As I rejoice in the blessings so far

Even though some choose to act as such

I am not against them

Not responding with hate

As I am faraway from it

But I don’t want to ignore

These obvious flaws

My reality needs to change

There are some things

I will and should not allow

To fade my world

Blur my path

You may say that anger is negative

Sadness is negative

But to deny is to fabricate them

Constructs of this world

That only want to preach of light

When you are so far into the night

Deep in the thicket of this midnight

I am finding my way

Every shadow in light and light in every shadow

I don’t need you to judge me

Tell me what to do

I trust myself to know

My heavy burdened mind

Plunges my spirit into this last bit of ego

If I’m mistaken I take my responsibility

Yet I will not face

These battles outside

For your benefit

I am not your conduit of self-hate

I will not be a standing mirror

While you lash at yourself

I am not going to take

This cross you’ve given me

So in the future, please don’t say

That this is something more than what it is

It’s a matter of accountability

Of truth of what is wrong

In this diseased relationship