As night stretches across the skies
After all that was done
I’m left here
Begging to God
To help me
How am I going to get through this
I gotta get through this
Your honeyed words
Does nothing to quench
These raging emotions
Let me feel what I need to feel
Breathing out
Flowing out is sporadic rationality
Don’t preach to me
What I must do
Patience and forgiveness
Is not for them it’s for me
Every time a blow is dealt
And the sharpened tongue
Draws emotional wounds
This night is not merely external
As I am brought down
From all that I’m feeling
Saying a prayer to myself
Let me allow peace into my mind
As I rejoice in the blessings so far
Even though some choose to act as such
I am not against them
Not responding with hate
As I am faraway from it
But I don’t want to ignore
These obvious flaws
My reality needs to change
There are some things
I will and should not allow
To fade my world
Blur my path
You may say that anger is negative
Sadness is negative
But to deny is to fabricate them
Constructs of this world
That only want to preach of light
When you are so far into the night
Deep in the thicket of this midnight
I am finding my way
Every shadow in light and light in every shadow
I don’t need you to judge me
Tell me what to do
I trust myself to know
My heavy burdened mind
Plunges my spirit into this last bit of ego
If I’m mistaken I take my responsibility
Yet I will not face
These battles outside
For your benefit
I am not your conduit of self-hate
I will not be a standing mirror
While you lash at yourself
I am not going to take
This cross you’ve given me
So in the future, please don’t say
That this is something more than what it is
It’s a matter of accountability
Of truth of what is wrong
In this diseased relationship
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