I think one of the biggest misconceptions that people have about me deals with crying. Ever since I can remember, whenever I cried in front of someone, whether it be a family member or someone from school, I was usually referenced with being a cry baby. Kind of ironic though because when I was a baby and small child, I rarely cried like other children would (according to my parents).
I was teased and bullied throughout elementary, middle, and high school. I've had my share of arguments and insults from family members as well. And believe me when I say that when it came to crying at school, it was a RARE thing. I REFUSED to cry in front of classmates.
Looking back at SOME of the scenarios I've encountered, If I was in a heated argument with someone, there would come a point where I would start to cry.When that happened, I remember being called weak or a cry baby because the tears would just begin to fall. Hearing that from a young age, it stayed embedded in my mind and yet, something in me knew that there was something wrong with being called that.
A few days ago I got into a similar situation with my dad. We got into an argument and it got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I walked away crying. But I realized something important at that moment. I went on google and started looking up information on crying and I realized that my crying had nothing to do with being weak.
After much analyzing I was able to connect my crying with anger and frustration. I don't cry because I'm a small fragile thing! No! I cry because I get very angry and frustrated! Last night the same thing happened with my aunt. We were talking about something she told me she would do, something we planned since last year and suddenly she just didn't want to do that anymore.
I freaked her out when I stayed quiet and the tears started falling. As soon as I was able to stop crying I plain out told her that I was mad about her changing her mind. I was crying because I was mad at her and I think she understood when I told her that. I don't understand why my body responds to anger and frustration with crying. It doesn't happen every single time I do but like I said before, it happens.
I was surprised to see that this happens to quite a lot of people but to be honest, I'm getting tired of this happening to me. I wish there was another way I could express my emotions without the tears. I'm really tired of it and I wish I could control it.
Comments
Marianinia: I totaly agree with you there! It is the anger than can start to cause issues, like hatred and bad energies...Best way to get off eny kind of anger is to meditate...Frustration is not such a big deal, but anger can sertainly cause problems if it is not dealth with emidiantly...I rearly get angry, but I do can get frustrated at time...I then cry out the frustration and then everything is fine again afer a short while...If is beter to cry out the frustration if you heart feels heavy than let it build upp to things like hatred and other bad energies...bad energies will allways consume you, you´ll get exhosted etc, simply not worth it...
To start to cry out of anger is more comon than you think...Sure men do that only after go hiding them selfes because they have been thought crying is a weakness...I Cry too when I get enough frustrated and angry when that heavyness of frustration in the heart has to get out...
It is not weakness to bee emotional and have feelings...the real weakness is to bee non emotional and feelingless...When a human beeing can´t bee emotional and is cold with no feelings at all for enyone or enything...that is what I call weakness and thous people needs to seek help to awaken their emotions and feelings...
I am very emotional human beeing and i cry as easilly as I laugh...For this I have been called drama queen etc..
If i see someone suffer I get emotional cause I can feel the pain of the suffering...wether it has to do with fysical or mental pain....I get very emotional then and can in some cases start to cry cause of it...
Crying when your angry can be a warning signal to the ones upsetting you. When it happened to me I was so angry, annoyed, and tired of this person's negative attempts to harm me that I had to stand stock still when they got into my face. I was so tired of their crap that I was shaking mad but I would not touch them until they decided to do so first. My holding that anger in is what made me cry. Not weakness, strength enough to not harm someone who was an idiot. I am better for my resistance because I realize what they really wanted was my dignity. In short crying is natural, it is not weak and neither are you. Be comfortable in who you are. Wishing you the best friend.
-DeepeningShadow