Spiritual Blogs

My difficult relationship (which I think was with a twin-flame.-my mirror, my other half) has peacefully ended… I knew I could not live with him for eternity from the very beginning of my relationship, yet I knew that something profound is in store for me in this relationship. I felt I have known him from ages and I trusted him with my life on the very first day.
The longing for him was unbearable and the world seemed to make much more sense when I was with him... I often felt as if the world existed only in us and between us, nothing else existed or mattered.

But all was not well in this wonderland... He is me, so after seeing all the good things, I started seeing all the bad things about him (which were the bad things in me...). The biggest problem was the EGO.

Under evolutionary pressure, you are bound to change yourself to survive…otherwise you will be extinct. This was the biggest evolutionary pressure I faced. At times, I felt like running away… but I knew that would not change anything, because I will keep getting experiences like this, unless I change myself and break the pattern…

And one of my girlfriends, had constantly told me to not avoid him…
She said these words to me, and I would like to say this to anyone who is in a twin-flame relationship or any difficult relationship:

“face your twin”
“face yourself”,
“face your fears”,
“face your anxiety”,
“face your insecurities”…
“this is a golden opportunity for you”…
And I know - “you will come out a winner” :)

Do not avoid the face-off. Don’t avoid the fights. But rest after each fight, learn. Take breaks…listen to music, dance, talk to yourself, meditate, look at the nature’s beauty and the humor hidden in each one of us… the humor in the situation that you are…

Be an observer to your relation, and as an observer decide what is best for the both of you.

When I and my twin used to fight, we both would take our time, at least 2 days before calling again… and all this while, we would try to focus on what’s important and what’s garbage… What I want to be? Do I want to be an insecure person? Do I want to be open? Do I want freedom for my soul and hers? Do I want to gain respect for myself in my own eyes or the eyes of the world?


I believe “Our thoughts can change us” and used to tell me ego “Shut up and leave me alone”. Believe me, it works!

We all wear our egos like our jewelry and hold it like a sword, ready to fight anytime… But I realized, it was not something to be proud of… This jewelry is like a rope around my neck, the more I use this rope, the more it tightens around my neck… And that sword is not pointing towards anyone else but me.

And this changed something in me, whenever my ego will speak and if I act according to what it says, I will feel extremely ashamed of myself… and then I will go to my twin and apologize and he would not be happy about it, he will tell me that “Sorry is a weak feeling…” I would feel bad at first but then realize that he is not even able to comprehend what my apology meant… and I would pity him…
Then I will fill my heart with love and tell him that, “I love you and even though I don’t want to marry you… you will always be in my prayers…” he would again say something bad… and again instead of my ego shouting back at him, I will call upon all the love in the world and then smile back at him… he would be uncomfortable because this is not the reaction he was expecting, then he will be quiet… and go in the state of contemplation.
Don’t know what he is thinking, don’t care… All I wanted to do was shed my ego…

Although I could not shed it… now I can manage it…using the power of love…!!!

I learned a lot from my twin-flame relationship… The following are few of the things that I would like to share to all of you who are dealing with their twins or difficult situations…

 “You are perfect!!!”
“You don’t need to do anything except - accepting yourself…”

If there is some behavior of yours which you want to change, first you need to recognize the root cause of it… then learn to love it… then slowly the change will happen on its own…

DO NOT consciously try to change anything, it’s not possible… Our behaviors are controlled by our subconscious , and changing the subconscious requires acceptance and love – and of course TIME.

Do not force yourself on the relationship… If the other person is not evolved and not wanting to evolve, then do not force it on the person… It will only stress the relationship… Let things happen… and just observe…

APPRECIATE the good things about him/her and about yourself…

NEVER point out the bad…
as when we do point out the bad, it becomes bigger and bigger and bigger until it explodes…

If you absolutely have to say it, then must make her realize that the problem is not in her or you, or your relationship… the problem is there to teach you both…it’s a gift... and you both will learn together…

I think my twin’s ego was the greatest gift for me… I learned so much from it…
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I would like to tell all of you things that I do, to feel connected to the energy of the world… These are quite illogical and little stupid – so laugh and enjoy... :)
You can try these if you like :)

• When I am walking on the road… I sing to myself (not loud, I am a terrible singer ) and I do little hops like we used to do as kids… jumping up and down and round and round when no one’s around (hey, that rhymed ;))

• And when I am sitting in my veranda, I will look at leaves of trees for a long time with admiration thinking how life is building in these green wonderful leaves… infact I look at all things with admiration, the road which has black small rocks… how small they are, but how much weight they must bear… how they never complain… etcetcetc

• In my room, I have a white board in front of my bed and I write inspirational quotes on it and when I get up, the first thing I see are these quotes and pictures etc that I have put up… Today it reads : -
“To touch the sky and fly so high”
 “That the world, when looks at you can only sigh”
“You are Amazing :)”

• I always keep a smile on my face, when I move out of my house… so that whoever sees me feels good and I can feel their positive energy.

• In the shower, I will feel the water is a healing water, and each cell in my body is opening up like a flower and getting healed by the magical water.

                             In short, BE HAPPY, WITHOUT ANY REASON, like when we were kids and never thought about anything, we used to just let things happen within us and around us…

Love and Light to all of you…