Hello fellow Ashtarian frequenters. This is not really a informational post, but rather just me throwing out my heart strings in hopes that I can express my self and feel that I have been heard and seen. I am going through a point in my life currently when I feel very far removed from my friends and family. I know that I have the support and Love of my guides and teachers, but sometimes you still yearn for that physical someone to embrace you and tell you that they understand you, and are by your side no matter what.
I lived a fairly normal sleeper life until my sudden awakening that happened about two years ago now, and since that time things have been nothing short of an action/adventure movie. I started my seekers quest, chasing the ox, and finding the hidden keys along the way. Problem is that before my awakening I was just living a normal life with my two children, whom I had never parted with since they were born. They were at that time 4 and 10, to young to understand in any terms my awakening and my necessary quest.
I had a dream that I was pregnant, and while checking on my children in bed, I saw out the window a blue comet falling to the earth, and at first I was in fear that it was going to harm my children, but I felt an impression that told me not to fear, all was well. Later I was interpreting my dream and realized that it was my guides telling me that the Christ consciousness was coming upon me, and that it would set into motion a line of events that would make me fear for my and my childrens relationship, but that I ultimately would not need to fear because all was in the Creators hands.
Shortly thereafter I had a dream about visiting the Mayan Temple, and a few months later through the law of synchronicity found myself their. Well what I thought would be a few weeks away from my children ultimately turned into nearly two years. During that time I left them in my Mother and Fathers care, where I knew that they were safe and cared for.
I have now returned after many hard months away. I experienced my initiation period without the understand of anybody knowing what I was going through. During my time away I also quite smoking cigarettes and weed, as well as drinking. I worked on purifying my temple, and serving the All. All of this however was not in the least bit understood by my staunch Mormon parents. They have told my children that I am mentally ill, and incapable of raising them. While I was gone I was only able to write them letters, I could not talk to them on the phone because my parents said I would be brain washing them.
The entire time I was gone, I was dreaming and staying strong till the day I could embrace my girls again, and now they are being withheld from me by my own mother, who will not even try to open her heart and recognize her daughter. I keep getting the messages from my guides that everything happens for a reason, to stand firm in my convictions, and that all would play out in due time for the benefit of all involved; but this is the hardest thing I have had to bear.... I feel so betrayed and unseen by my family.
I don't have any one around here that I can talk to. I have grown apart from everyone I knew from before my awakening. I do understand my families perspective from their view, still being confined in old beliefs and fear vibrations, but what can I do at this point? Is there any words of comfort? Has any one else faced this kind of experience stemming from their awakening? Please lend me some of your heart, and any words or advice you may have at this time. Even your own stories that I can relate too.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your support. Sorry this is not very well written as well, as I am finding somewhat difficult to even type at all in this state. However I already do feel a bit better just taking the time to type this out, and review it in my mind.
To all who have pushed through the condemnation, and critics, and non-believers, to all who have pushed along and reached the summit... I commend you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sincerely, and with Love and Light,
Mandy L West