Now children, I have a little fairy story for you..........
There were once two twins who were seperated at birth by an evil old dragon. The dragon had been given this job as a punishment and wasn't very happy about it so it made the life of the twins very difficult indeed. Before he seperated them, he put all of the mind in one of the bodies and all of the heart in the other. How did he manage that I ask you? Only by being the BIGGEST, MOST EVIL, SUPER BADASS of ALL TIME!!!!
But even that wasn't enough to stop the twins trying to join hands in their sleep.
He realised that he was going to have to tried harder. Now if you are a DRAGON - who are your natural allies? The Lizards.........
So GRANDMASTER FLASH went to find the BIGGEST, MOST EVIL, SUPER BADASS LIZARD GIRL of all time. Let's call her Lizzie. GO LIZZIE!!!
He then tried to shock the twins into being apart with a nasty accident and by taking out one of their eyes (or putting another in, depending on how you look at it ;) )
The more miserable it made the twins the fatter with 'GOLD' it got. TBH, it got a bit addicted to all this gold and went a bit mental at one point, but we'll talk about that later...............
Anyway, this tale has a happy ending as one day the twins realised how to defeat him and tickled him so hard he exploded and showered gold all over the world!!!!
What the twins didn't realise was the GRANDMASTER FLASH was playing a different game from eveyone else. He put a massive call out for people of two teams who wanted to learn to play a game called LIFE. This consisted of two TEAMS - WANKERS (GO TEAM WANKER) and FANNIES (GO TEAM FANNIE) to teach the twins about 'life'. They both played their parts so well that they taught the twins all sorts of lessons about life and eventually they managed to hold hands in their sleep, even if the old frickin b*st*rd wouldn't let them remember when they were awake.
The WANKERS came from Scotland (and they were all girls). The FANNIES came from England (and were all boys).
The girls had to teach the boys how to be warriors and the boys had to teach the girls how to love.
Now the BATTLE CRY OF THE FANNIES WAS LOVE.
And the BATTLE CRY OF THE WARRIORS WAS....well, this is a children's story, so let's just say that my name starts with the same letter ;)
GRANDMASTER FLASH realised he had made a big mistake when he first put his pet dragons in the cage with the WANKERS and FANNIES. The dragons either loved the WANKERS too much and tried to do everything for them, or the WANKERS got bored of the FANNIES because they were too nice..........then the DRAGONS got bored of all of them........
And ate them............................;)
How BAD of those dragons - still the Grandmaster loved them, as he realised it was his fault for putting the dragons in in the wrong order. So for the rest of 'time' he has been trying to get the order right. That didn't mean that the dragons didn't have to suffer for doing their bad things. They had to stay in the cage until they had learnt patience, love, tolerance and fire. The dragons were none too bright and went a bit mad themselves while they were trying to get out of the cage, but again, that is something we will all have to talk about later.
The thing is, he won't come out to play until we forgive him. And do you know how we forgive him? By tickling him..............
Now the GRANDMASTER has a message for you. What do you get if you put the battle cry of the FANNIES together with the battle cry of the WANKERS?
Now ask yourself what he has been trying to teach us all?
Now you try to tell me that he isn't the biggest, most SUPER BADASS OLD DEVIL ever...........
And I was one of the Twins......................
WE ARE ONE - LOVE TO ALL
GO GRANDAD!!!!!!
GO GRANNIE!!!!!!!
GO DRAGONMASTERS!!!!
WHITE LIES...............(NOT LINES)
LOST
FOUND (YES)
XXXX
XXX (I'M HERE - WHERE ARE THE REST OF YOU WANKERS)
XX
X
We know what it's like to have in-laws who are Dragons, Fannies and Wankers ;)
Do what we do and forgive them. I'd rather be happy and laughing believing this tale than waste my time blaming people for who did this, that or the other. There is NO ORIGINAL SIN, no-one to blame.
But there has been lots of shit and this is no joke. We ask you to forgive us with an open hand.
With permission from BEN ARION I would like to open up my account to allow people to follow my path. It is not without dangers but for those who like a mind messy quest, It's blue pill or red pill time......
I'll just check my messages first ;)
We made it out alive. So can you. NOW LETS EXPLODE THE GRANDMASTER WITH TICKLES AND LOVE.....................GET HIS GOLD FROM #PENDRAGON CASHBACK!!!
Don't ask us how we're going to divide it up, we haven't a clue yet............
GO TEAM PENDRAGON!!!
Cat xxx
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