If you want to be happy then I've got good news for you:
All you have to do in order to have a fair chance to live a better live than I do is not to be me.
I hate myself - and not even I know any way for this to be any otherwise.
I want to die. I'm not fulfilling my own lives or dreames nor that of any other one.
I was told I came here to help. But I'm now realising that I ironically became a part of the problem and not of the solutions I wished to create.
All over my current live time I felt misunderstood and left alone.
I never tasted of what real mutual loving relationships are like.
My body is wasted and there seems to be no cure. All my life is pain, dissapointment, frustration, illusions and reasonless hope for anything to become better ever.
I had a vision of an entirely different way of life - but as I am powerless and poor I can not even afford grace for myself by myself.
I'm so sorry but I failed with everything I ever touched.
It feels like I was cursed. Cursed not to even know why I'm punished to live a worse life than those who did overhelmingly evil deeds to the world.
My soul is so seriously sad... :´(
Can it ever be healed?
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when everything is easy and done for you, life may be better, but it wouldnt be your own earning.
realizing this, you would feel even more useless than you may do now.."
I strongly disagree: Some soul who is ill or even have been made seriously ill and suffering does not care about if he/her/it would earn the healing by him-/her- self! The opposite is the case: One who is shown compassion and caring by others in very most cases show A LOT of thankfulness to those who are loving and compassionate enough to heal them - especially if they got so ill that they can not help themselves anymore.
Did Jesus heal others or did he told his own fellow travellers: "Fuck off you fool and help yourself, bitch!" ?!??
Of course he helped those who could not help theirselves!!
Though he reflected those who have co-created their own problems critically - which is perfectly OK - but did he leave anyone who asked for help behind?
Ok, lay it to me.
All you have to do in order to have a fair chance to live a better live than I do is not to be me.
We had enough examples in history already, ie Hitler, Mao Tse Tsung, and the list goes on; emphasis on these men should help give you an idea that we had enough examples. Namaste
I hate myself - and not even I know any way for this to be any otherwise.
I dislike myself is a good step up
I want to die. I'm not fulfilling my own lives or dreames nor that of any other one.
I cannot do that because who will take care of my Mom/Dad?
I was told I came here to help. But I'm now realising that I ironically became a part of the problem and not of the solutions I wished to create.
Temper exudes sometimes, start thinking of consequences. "Seeing red" is usually indicitive of feelings being repressed; emotionally. Remember that the energy is based on understanding and listening; sometimes we listen to the negative and forget that we could always change the subject on them (if there are people nearby) or, walking away. Physical gestures indicate more of a tenency to inflict physical harm. Walk away immediately.
All over my current live time I felt misunderstood and left alone.
That sounds familiar to me...
I never tasted of what real mutual loving relationships are like.
Are you absolutely sure?
My body is wasted and there seems to be no cure. All my life is pain, dissapointment, frustration, illusions and reasonless hope for anything to become better ever.
Yep, I've felt that before but I was worse back then
I had a vision of an entirely different way of life - but as I am powerless and poor I can not even afford grace for myself by myself.
I'm so sorry but I failed with everything I ever touched.
It feels like I was cursed. Cursed not to even know why I'm punished to live a worse life than those who did overhelmingly evil deeds to the world.
My soul is so seriously sad... :´(
Can it ever be healed?
"I cannot do that because who will take care of my Mom/Dad?"
Not an argument to me because I could better serve so anyway - since what my parents always proov to be most interrested in is me to produce less financial ballast to them even if they are able to buy other rather luxury things they tell me they could not afford a water bed which would dramatically reduce my spine and muscle aches, which are my main problem. They are so fucking selfish that the only way I can maintain my will to live on is taking hard drugs against physical and emotional pain.
Oh dear Cortex it seems that you are stuck in some psychic mud. Of course you are worthy, of course you have purpose. You are divine and special and human. At this time especially we are being stripped of our karma, we are clearing the final wave of energy before the June 21 solstice. Something special will happen that day- I promise- pinky swear.
Think of all the lives behind you that built into the NOW... all the suffering you've gone through in your young life. Do you think the way you feel is the result of just ONE life? Or that perhaps balances need to be made- the Lords of Karma are very busy right now.
My suggestion is to do something to feed your spirit- something that brings JOY to you. You are a shining star- a super star- there is no one exactly like you in the entire of creation. You are THAT special. Please remember that today.
And if I could share one piece of advice to anyone/anywhere... it would be that to make yourself happy, the best route is to make someone else happy first.
Ponder that.
If you're talking about being stuck in a wheel chair or something, yeah, that would suck, dude! If you can use your legs though, use them to carry you to some place inspirational! I think you're just in a bad mood or something. I get that way during the winter.
In my experience, I find that the best thing to do is laugh at hardship. Hardyhaha.
Every beat-down, breakup, dead friend or relative, loss of your home and/or money, incurable disease, shitty job, or incarceration is only gonna make you tougher so that life's bumpy roads won't distract you as much from your work.
When something bad happens, it's good to be excited that at least something is happening so you can handle it with a positive attitude. When the Universe closes a door, it opens a window and all that.
Your life can only get more interesting.
How old are you bro? You look quite young.
You know what, you have never failed. There exists in us a light and a dark side. and its all good to fuck up. it's all part of the lessons our souls are taught on this journey.
Take a break for some time, go and bust some buddhist meditation with a group or something. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. 'We look back on the past and remember it better than it was, we think that the present is worse then it really is, and we think that the future will not resolve our current issues from both' Don't know who said that but the fact of the matter is that its not as bad as it seems .
Like I said we're not eternal light beings but have both light and dark within us, try and channel the lighter side one step at a time, and remember that it's all good to screw up. You don't have to be a hero bro, but don't sell yourself short, mine is a constant battle and the only thing that can defeat you is your own mind, never give up buddy. Life is a rollercoaster, and in due time, one step at a time, you'll find yourself on top, remember there is no such thing as the 'right' way
Yes I was quite young back them. but back then at least my own mom was willing to buy me good food when I was 17 years old. Nowadays she only thinks about herself and prefers to go on expensive well-ness trips than to buy healthy food for her own son.
My mom is quite exactly as nice those of Marshal Matters a.k.a. eminem.
I'm currently 24 years old and don't look that good anymore as my can not afford healthy food.
Furthermore she is even one of the main contributing factors of my health problems. This is not about judging - it is about facts.
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