I'm exhausted...truly exhausted, depressed, overloaded by anxiety, negative thoughts and immense fear. I'm just sad...and alone. I've lost everything and everyone around me. My behavior have changed, my dreams are no longer. Time is standing still and at the same time passing by as if it doesn't mean anything while at the same time, I'm wasting it by doing nothing which results in my depression and anxiety. I'm doing nothing because I'm exhausted.
I've lost my tolerance, my eagerness and my hopes. I spend 90% of my days just sitting and looking at the wall or the floor thinking of what was, is and what could be. I feel nothing..the other 10% I either read the news or watch reruns of TV shows or argue with people, I'm living my version of hell.
My body is literally not responding to me anymore and I'm just 23 years old. The entire week goes by and I've only been able or willing to leave my room once, maybe twice. If I do ever leave it I'm just going to the groceries store and back. I see no point in talking to anyone, I see no point in enjoying a little game on my PC. I see no point in getting a job, making new friends, drinking beer, eating food or doing anything, I've even lost interest in smoking marijuana..now that's just sick. The weed was the only thing keeping me sane and giving me some joy. It's absurd and crazy, I love weed, but I don't feel for it nor want it anymore, I don't even get high... So I'm just stuck in some sort of a limbo world...
I don't understand why I should take care of my self or why/how I should find pleasure in life. I've really lost the sense of it...I've spent numerous nights, crying and sobbing and praying for a little peace of mind, but nothing. No hand from the heavens reaching down, no burst of warm, fuzzy energy taking over my body, calming me down. No voice, no feeling, nothing. I'm starting to realize that we're all alone, by ourselves on a tiny blue dot lost in space, without a faith.
I don't understand the point of meditation. Why would I just sit still and be quiet and even if I do and I get an epiphany or get beamed up to a mother ship getting a tour around the Universe for a night, what would the point be? I am the Universe, so why would that be exciting? When I get back, than what? I know the TRUTH for now, which is I know nothing..but I'm stuck in a place with a bunch of people thinking they know everything. It's frustrating, annoying and depressing...I'm just exhausted.
pre 21.12.2012 I was adventurous, energetic, calm, humble, lighthearted, kind, gentle...Even in the darkest of the darkest hour I saw light. Post 21.12.2012 I became angry, inpatient, depressed, frightened, torn apart...exhausted!!!!! I'M EXHAUSTED!!!!
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yes seeing healers and helpers is always a good thing to do......i went and saw an amazing healer and it is worth it's weight in gold....
yes-the darkness is immediately lifted and over time the aura is cleared and the chakras are balanced-feelin good again! God is Great!
Hello Hopi. I understand your pain because your feelings of abandoning are reflecting my own pain and inner emptiness. After all you are not only one depressed here. I wish you only the best and will be happy to befriend you. But only if you would like make this choice.
Love is a solution for everything. ♥ ♥ ♥
A kickass message, and a kickass song.
Thank you my brother for sharing this.
I too at times have felt ' exhausted".
At times/ cross roads in my life I was knocked down and felt so alone, felt like I was at my end.
I had to get right back up and keep fighting.
For me. (first)
For the ones I love.
For all of you.
And for all life on this beautiful world.
You must love yourself and give "yourself" freely,
and the universe will give back beyond measure. (:
it will give back beyond measure I promise you that ! (:
this shift can be truly exhausting, draining, and that is why we have to care for ourselves. first and foremost THIS WILL PASS don't do anything drastic....second are you taking vitamins and minerals, like B-12 (combination) and magnesium. most americans are deficient in mag.....i take magnesium and I SWEAR it is like a miracle......we all go through things like this........but what is important is to start small and work your way up......you might want to try something other than meditation as if you are just sitting in your room by yourself meditating, or change up your spiritual routine.....get up and get yourself outside with some good food, plenty of water, and get yourself to a yoga class or take a walk. and maybe when you are outside ground yourself into the earth and face the sunshine......i think you should connect with other starseeds or indigos in your area.....CARE FOR YOURSELF IN THE HERE AND THE NOW......these little shifts of energy add up to big shifts of energy. i hope this was helpful......yeah i went through something similar during my shift, but now i am not in that space anymore and i feel fantastic......
here is a list of things you can do right now
1.) self care - take a nice bath - eat well-
2.)do some simple yoga poses
also there are more yoga poses on youtube if you feel up to it....
3.) can you see a healer? massage? acupuncture?
4.) get yourself outside even if it is somewhat painful and go to the park if weather permitting
5.) join a meetup group for indigos and go and meet some new friends
6.) DO IT NO MATTER HOW HARD AT FIRST - it will get easier.....
you are generating energy and momentum and the more you generate the more momentum you create and the better you feel in general. little by little a small changes add up to huge changes.....
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.
There are times in our life when we feel that way. There are times for me when I am very depressed too.
I have a few ideas but I think it would be better if we speak in PMs. Private message me if you would like to hear.
All the best!!!
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