Do you have the nagging feeling that you are here for a purpose, yet feel torn because 'time' is running out?
This is really stressing me out, as I know my purpose and my mission but it is taking so long to get everything in order. I can't focus, and I have my own pain to cope with (as we all do), not feeling as if we belong, yearning for our spiritual family and our 'home' of origin (peaceful planet).
It feels as if 'coping' through every day is a major challenge - seeing we are sensitive to practially EVERYTHING. And even in the last month, I feel even more a stranger here on Earth, and yet have become even MORE SENSITIVE to things (but have become vegetarian and reducing chemicals in my home). Yet I live a very disciplined lifestyle to a degree, then in painful times, I still need a drink to get me through. While it might make a tear in my aura, it doesn't stop information coming through me on an intuitive level. What I have to offer humanity would greatly assist them.
I find a drink really helps me through. I tell myself 'if only I disciplined myself to meditate during these painful times instead of drinking' (I did meditate this morning and some helpful information came through that provided a solution to a problem I had, and I had a good day. It was unreal!). I was going to pay a clairvoyant for some counselling but the answer came through meditation. It's happened several times.
I want to help humanity, and I feel that a sense of purpose is far stronger than just 'surviving'.
I don't mind abusing my body because I want to go 'home'. I know I shouldn't abuse it, but the yearning to go home is incredibly strong. All I need is a little support and I'd be right. But in order to heal myself, I need to be a recluse. Catch 22.
Butterfly (formerly someone else).
Replies
hi Pichu
You're right that we unknowingly (and are now the wiser) put things into our bodies that isn't good.
I'm sorry to hear that you are about to lose your home. That is a real challenge. I hope you find a new home that is nurturing.
Butterfly
This week, 'merkabah' seems to be something popping up for me to explore further.
I wouldn't mind making one and meditating in it. I think it might be a good idea to 'go within' rather than drink. I just didn't want to wake up at 2am, and still FEEL sadness and the inability to cope when the other tonics help me sleep right through.
Anyone got a merkabah? Had good results?
A merkaba is the light body you create when you ascend. Picture two triangles laid over top of each other spinning in opposite directions... like a star with six points spinning away from each other but attached. This is your merkaba body- it can be activated when your chakras are opened and balanced, it surpasses duality- that means it can take you beyond 3D. The merkaba is what is activated when we reach ascension, when active it looks like an orb- a perfectly round shape. The orbs of the GFL are a form of merkaba- living ships... and the light orbs we see in spirit photos are the merkaba of other beings sometimes those who have passed on, or other beings we can't see with our human eyes.
This lady, Atala Toy is very knowledgeable about merkaba and dimensional travelling/communication. She has a book that I just loved.
Thanks Happykelly
I'll watch this. I just made up a separate post about this.
I'm certain that when I watched the movie 'Out on a Limb' by Shirley Maclaine, that there was a man who she visited that used to meditate in one.
I'm excited, it's a new creative project to replace the old weeds (no not maryjane) but drink.
Mwahhh
Hey There... Don't worry! So many of us are going through a emotionally Lonely longing June. As exspected with all of the eclipses. I feel that you are in touch with your Source and higher self presence very well. You also seem to answer your own questions as you write out the problem. This could be a solution for you if you feel that you cant meditate as much as you like. I know this month i have been put to the test in more then one way and I recognized it and then took some breaths and knew that this was my moment to pass the next spiritual test for soul growth out of my Old habitual or ego driven ways.
For one example On monday June 13th 2011 My very good friend and I were hanging out when i left my purse un-attended. I had come to realized She had stolen my Video recorder (which was always close to me so i could pull it out and catch our star families saying hello as there ships fly through the night). The old me that did not walk with Love and Light might have ended up in jail for wrath of my revenge. But the En-lightend me Realized my blood pressure rising and how uncomfortable and angry I felt and new I had to change my thought patterns to the higher frequencies that i wish to exude. So I took breaths meditated to the angels to pure comfort over my hurt and to please shower the anger with love. I had to do this a couple time as my mind would habitually try to hang on to the anger. when i got a grip of my emotions i then sent my love and healing energies to the camera steeling friend. then I made the decision that i already knew we were not resonating so it was time to let her go.. although emotional and a material loss at hand It was the universe helping me to weed out the bad seeds of my life for bad seeds weigh you down..
Im not perfect either and escaping with a drink often sounds so much simpler then meditation but really dig deep and try to remember you may be going through your own spiritual test. This "escape attitude" you are feeling is definitely and "old attitude or thought pattern"... we all now know the power of thought! Dont be affraid (Fear is food to the dark) to change your patterns or to actually FEEL. Time heals all. Just know that everything your feeling is pretty much on coarse but that doesnt give permission to abuse your body now because ascension is Our ticket out. For all we know is not all where about to find out! How do we "Know" or "not know" the effects in the future of abusing our earth body now. Maybe nothing... maybe something... truth is only time will tell. So don't feel alone I'm going through this with you as well. But it does hurt my heart to hear such a perfect human being admit the words,
"I don't mind abusing my body because I want to go 'home'. I know I shouldn't abuse it"
My mom would yell at me for getting tattoo's and piercing's shed say,
"Danielle The body is the lords temple! how dear you mark it up like that!"
the old rebelious me would laugh at her and invite her to the next tattoo appointment for I am A free spirit that must express myself in my own way.... NOw I beg to differ... I am still the free spirit with the realization that Prime creator is in each of us, as we are here to live out all the expierence's of mother earth for the creator. It would make no sense for source to come to earth to live out what is already known. thats why our soul forgets every time we re-incarnte to earth. so when temptation is pounding my brain with an easy way out i gather my will power and go fix my mind on something else even playing video games LoL anything that puts a smile on your face. Treating yourself to a massage. Soething that takes focus Anything can work. Distract your mind. Boardom is the key to relapsing, studies say, so i would think that you can relate this theory to emotional re-laps (maybe dwelling on the lonely feeling) Addiction re-laps, and/or just the relasps of your old thinking pattern... I promises everytime you practice it get easier and easier! Stay Strong...
Read more: http://www.ashtarcommandcrew.net/forum/topics/do-you-feel-there-is-...
Hi Danielle,
Thanks for your response. Very comforting.
I think our 'friends' have really been part of the illusion. I have moved away from many people and I don't really befriend anyone who doesn't believe much in karma (except for the men I get involved with..... another story - but it's not to say there arn't decent ones out there).
You are very strong in sending her love and light. Apparently it is said that that heaps burning coals on their head (conscience) or it creates an instant karmic effect where the same thing happens to them - but they it requires strength to not fight back.
Butterfly
aw Stumpyone, that's so inspiring about sitting outside brother!
What a great idea!
I know about tv..... it's crap isn't it!!!! Full of fear. I laugh when people who watch it mindlessly, feel as if they want to 'keep abreast of what's going on in the world' and 'keep informed'. I was seeing a guy and I told him I didn't want the tv on (in my house) mindlessly. He said 'I like to keep informed'. Yes sadly, I like the cowboys who arn't terribly enlightened.
Chiming in on the 2 important topics raised in this post: mission and having a drink.
On the mission part. I have found it futile to have much impact in awakening with the people around me: my friends, family, community etc. It could be that our mission begins with first contact or times of great upheaval. If that's the case, then my mission is to get prepared within for whatever event comes to pass.
Having a clear mind and healthy body/aura is crucial. A hangover would not be good. Personally, if I have a drink-I usually have another and...! As I type, I have 3 days since my last drink(s). So, what if the upheaval happens when i am "out of it"? I have thought about this before and all I can say is I want to be ready and strong for when that time comes.
I used to get this visual of when I drink. I could see the alcohol being poured into my throat and dousing out the light that shines in my heart. Forgiveness is the key here. There is no need to beat myself up on top of a hangover. Is it possible to fulfill our mission without a clear mind? And my G-d, is there any chance of ascension with alcohol poison in my body? Is there any chance of developing a merkaba or getting on board a light ship with a hangover?
I guess I am not drinking today!
Aaah you are a real starseed I can see
thanks Annaja
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