Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community Network

Hello :)

I have wondered about this thing all my life and I have some questions regarding relationships.

Is there possible to have in your life-contract to not engage in a relationship with another soul?

About me, I have never been close to have a relationship with the opposite sex. Even though I'm a nice guy it just seems as if I was not meant to have a relationship this life-time if you know what I mean. Sometimes it can really get boring to be all alone when you see so many others sharing love with eachother. But on the other hand sometimes it feels good to just be for myself too. So I wonder, is it just mere coincidences that I've not been able to go into a relationship with a girl or can it be orchestrated in my contract? I'm really curious about this.

I've also read somewhere I think that twin-flames are going to re-unite this year and therefor you are not to have an existing relationship when this happen. Can this also be the case? I don't know if I am a starseed or anything about having a twin-soul yet. Though I am really curious about this :).

Just want to say that I feel no pain for being lonely, just that I miss sometimes someone I could share my love with in a relationship-way.

Thanks and blessings to you!

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Comment by Ogdoo on July 2, 2012 at 9:24pm

Yes that's true :) A lot of people in relationships think that the other person will make up for their own personal flaws instead of fixing them themselves, while the other person may do the same. I will find what I'm looking for that's for sure, or I can say, I will find what I'm supposed to find :-). I wish you the best also, we have nothing to loose, just gain if we intend to do that :D. Hugs!

Comment by Ogdoo on July 2, 2012 at 5:52pm

Hey Emmy.  Yes you could say that I'm a bit cautious. I am a person with struggles with the constant idea "What will this person think of me if I do this/say that" kind of.. I also have a hard time expressing my thoughts into language and mostly ends up just dry-talking about normal stuff.. Alcohol however is another thing but you cannot rely on it, you need to be able to express yourself when you are free from drugs like alcohol.

But I don't think anyone else can tell you how to be, that's from their own experiences. I'm trying to balance all of my chakras and really get into tune with myself. Like to get better confidence in myself, get a better view at who I really am, what I really want, be better at expressing myself emotionally and vocally, stand up for what I believe and to be able to totally respect others. These are things I feel necessary before starting a relationship with someone else. And why would I want a relationship? It is NOT because I want the other person to make me whole (that is my responsibility to do for myself) I just simply want a relationship to be close to another person. Do things together, feel intimacy and love in a different way.

I have asked for relationships many times, but the more time goes by now I realize I might be better off without it for now. If changes really are coming, I believe there are going to be best to be really focused on yourself to be balanced and calm with so little distractions as possible. This is just my views on it. 

Thanks for your reply!

Hugs =)

Comment by Ogdoo on June 2, 2012 at 10:32am

That's also true netcae :) I believe those things should come naturally though and it's nothing one should force him/herself to find. Going out to the pub looking for girls just don't fit me, especially where I live people are really unsocial to "strangers". People tend to stick around in groups with people they are comfortable with and don't bother to explore new personalities. I don't have to drive far in my country to find a more social community, it's strange :)

Comment by netcae on June 2, 2012 at 9:23am

yer, its all about been happy within your self BUT to share this with another soul who is on same wave length would be so much fun........

no one else can actually make you happy but they sure can make you happier !  and you can have more fun with someone than alone. 

Comment by Ogdoo on June 2, 2012 at 8:57am

Yeah thanks for that. Now when I think about it it all makes sense :) Overanalyzing is a blockage and not a natural state of viewing this. I will just work on myself and be true to myself and let things come as they do. The law of attraction can then be put in place by not asking for things? I always thought you had to use affirmations or really wanting a thing for it to come to you. Maybe that is a wrong view of it?

In the end I think the most important thing in life is to really find yourself and to learn how to control your emotions and to be balanced at all times. To live in harmony, joy and balance as much as you can. I would not like to have a relationship with another person if I did not put value in myself, that would result in trying to complete that missing part in hoping to get it from another person when it's all within myself I think. 

I won't think too much about this, you gave me a lot of good answers John and I think I can lay these ideas to rest now. I still have some work to do with myself which is the most important thing to know :)

Have a nice day =)

Comment by John Jancar on June 1, 2012 at 10:00pm

Well I think that's the thing right there. Just be yourself, at all times. Be as natural as you can be, without putting on a front, or an image. You know, St. Germain said something that I always remembered...your personal power is directly proportional to your personal integrity. In other words, the more true you are to yourself, the more you just be yourself and that's it...the more self-empowered you'll be. And self-in love lol Because you honor yourself, you put value on yourself, you consider yourself worthy enough to be who you are.

I think, most personal problems come from blocks on self. And I used to be like that, when I was a kid, or in high school...I wasn't really myself, I tried to be what others wanted me to be. I tried to be low maintenance. I used to downplay myself and put everyone else first. And that's not balanced. Ultimately..you are you..and you are as important and valuable as anyone else. And..like Bashar says, our entire purpose is to be ourselves, as fully as we can be. All the other things, like our missions, these are just the expressions of our being, expressions of what God made us to be.

And I think overanalyzing it is not a good idea. It's easy to get to a point where you start thinking, well maybe I don't deserve it, or maybe it's not part of my life plan...those kind of thoughts, or feelings, or beliefs...put a block on what it is you want. Remember the Law of Attraction. You can't experience what you aren't the vibration of. And you'll always experience what you are the vibration of. So try to check what's going on within you, what kind of limiting attitudes you may have, that are keeping these things from manifesting. It usually has nothing to do with any physical thing, or societal program...you can be fat, broke, or whatever, and still have a relationship. I've seen every type of person have a relationship. Like most things in life...it all begins and ends within you. I hope this helps :)

Comment by Ogdoo on June 1, 2012 at 8:06pm

Thanks John. I recognize what you said there, it may be my cause. As I mentioned before I may be a little shy at first but when I break the ice so to speak I'm very easy to talk with and I don't feel at all that I'm being too nice or too unconfident in some ways. But this may be things that I cannot see for myself, I may have a weakness that don't attract girls. Because it is very rare for me to get response from the opposite, I just feel repelled very often. Not in a way that I'm getting let out or something, I just can't seem to connect with girls like  other guys do even though I can't see any major flaw inside myself that is responsible for this. I see weaknesses in my friends who get relationships or attract girls very easily that I sometimes feel I don't have.

My problem seem to be that most of the girls are judging you really fast for who you are today. I need time with a person to really show them who I am, and when I do they know I'm a great person to be around. It just feels bad that I can't show who I really am in such a short time without acting like somebody I can't or want to be. 

This don't get better by all the peer-pressure from the outside, the older I get without having had a single relationship is a terrible thought and maybe people wonder why and start to build up false judgements.

Also I don't want to push this just for the sake, instead I want a relationship that comes under normal circumstances where I act as the person I am. 

It can be many things involved being without a relationship and I'm trying to figure it out now. Life contracts? Social incapabilities not percieved by yourself? Maybe it is harder today for everyone because the brainwashing from magazines, movies, series etc and therefore people adopt these stereotypes to their everyday lives? It's much to think about in this topic :) 

Comment by John Jancar on June 1, 2012 at 6:59pm

Well sure I think it's possible...some people are just like that, that's their life plan. I see alot of people who either can't hold down a steady relationship, or haven't had a real relationship at all. I think ideally we're supposed to become whole and complete within ourselves, first...and then share that with someone else. But...I feel for you, I can understand how it would get lonely, especially when you see so many others, with their partner...

I don't really know what the deal is with twin flames, I know what people say, but that's not real knowing. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. But my suggestion to you is...just be yourself. And become more empowered. It's nice to be a nice guy, but sometimes it's possible to be too nice...where you become...not self-confident, not self-assured, not...like..where you know what you want to do and you just do it. Nothing seems to turn a girl off more than perceiving weakness in a man. And I don't know what the situation is with you, you'll have to explain a bit more why you don't seem to be able to get into a relationship...but, generally, that's how it is.

Comment by Ogdoo on June 1, 2012 at 4:31pm

Thanks Destiny :) I suspected this could be a possibility for me too. I hope my twin-flame is a good looking girl female about my age ;)

Comment by Ogdoo on June 1, 2012 at 4:10pm

netcae, I'm sure it will work out for us in the days to come. Don't feel sadness or desperation right now for being alone.

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