Sorry for the "selfish" post, but I wish to get some things out that I think a lot of us have felt or may be feeling right now...
First of all, I've been feeling so neutral it's scary. I cried for the first time in a while today, and I was almost happy about it! (woohoo, I'm not an android) I feel like I only cry now when I need to release something deep that I'm not even cognizant about until much later.
But I feel so detatched that I just don't wannt to "play" anymore. I don't want to go to work, I don't want to eat, I don't want to read, etc... Many may be quick to slap me with a diagnosis of depression, but I'm really not sad...I just feel trapped...trapped in this un-reality that I have been trying to momentarily escape when I can.
I don't feel like I need anything (but physically, you know, I need water and food). I don't want anything. I don't want money or fancy gadgets. I just want silence and peace (and SLEEP!). I just want to BE. That's it. Yet it seems so few can understand what I mean when I say this, and when I do say it, they want to hide all the medication, sharp objects and shoelaces in my house. :)
I just think we are being rewired like radios. First I was really unhappy, then really happy, now I think they found the right channel. I just feel here, now, and I don't care about what might happen tomorrow, next year, what happened last year. Who cares. But our reality makes it imperative to care. I just want to sit and think and create. That's all. I want to get to know myself, what I've been through, what I know, because I know we are so much more. But somehow that's too much to ask.
Anyone out there understand where I'm coming from? And have some advice on how to overcome it so I may feel up to participating once again?
I just want to BE...
Nothing wrong with just BEING.....To BE who you are, NOW......Nothing wrong with it at all....You don't have to do things all the time....You don't have to be busy all the time doing things......you don't have to fit in and be "acceptable" either....Just be yourself and find yourself.....That's the way.
Oh gosh you've nailed it for me... I just want to BE as well and not have endless demands made of me. I get lonely for my own people, for silence, for peace without expectation.
I'm sorry I wish I could offer some more counsel but I am in it myself, meditation and grounding help, being in nature and with animals, and music sometimes soothes and transports one.
I do believe that we are in a place of balance right now, a fragile cosmic alignment before we teeter off in a new round of "clearing" (learning to dislike this part alot)....
Have you noticed that the things that brought you peace and joy before no longer seem to fill your soul as they used to?
For now I am doing my best to drift with the tides, letting energy wash over me is better than fighting the current.
good idea. Don't fight it, I will keep that in mind. I guess I have to find out what I'm really fighting first :)
And I love the "clearing" process...ahhh...I have so much to get rid of. It's like having curb-side pick-up trash day when you missed the last couple times....crap is overflowing on the curb and some gracious soul picks it up for me.
Which brings me to my next thought...so, when someone picks up our trash, it goes to a landfill. So where does our negativity go when we have a period of "clearing"?
It's transmuted, like we are a prism taking in white light and shooting out a rainbow of colors... that's why everyone is pushing onto us Lightworkers, it's what we do naturally. Lol, they think WE are the garbage men who take their refuse to the landfill...but we internalise it and if we are connected to LoveLight can transform it into something else. Sometimes it's harsh... but I can quarantee that opening the heart will transmute ANY energy that comes your way into something positive and Light.
Notice people lost in the ego/old ways still try to put their garbage onto others (thus invoking the Law of Karma)... but true clearing makes you feel better afterwards, making someone feel lousy will always rebound to you eventually so best not to put your clearing onto them......I feel bad for people who are experiencing this and unaware of what they are doing to themselves... I think that is why we have so much violence right now. Like a game of hot potato, each tossing this growing energy ball of anger and fear back and forth until BANG, someone gets hurt.
first you notice the negativity , then you clean it all up , then you trash it , then you let go of it.
thank you, I have located some of Ramtha's material on-line. I will listen/read them tonight. :)
i have just got to work and saw your post on my iphone... i will write a response later today
It's comforting to hear that other souls are having similar experiences. I know it's just a phase, but this has been a difficult phase to deal with. Maybe this is a reminder for many of us to slow down, reflect, and dig waaay deep in there to find what has been hidden from us.
It's kind of like being fully aware that you are dreaming, but not being able to move your arms or legs to wake your body
i second that...
Hey Somesay :)
I don' t think it's selfish,
I think you are probably going through a transformation "process". Sometimes we need to "clear out" to make way for the New. I have had states of feeling like I'm in some kind of null zone, where I feel totally neutralized, and it passes with time.
I think it's a part of our leveling up of consciousness. I would just enjoy the feeling of BEing, and go with the flow :)...
You are the master of your reality, but you have to know when to let go, and when to take the wheel. Right now, you are probably in a let go phase.
I think that's totally healthy... :-) <3
I feel very disconnected too, and the older I get the more disconnected I feel.