I was 11 years old. It was dark outside-nearly midnight at my home in Tampa, Florida on the very wrong side of town. Something had woke me, urged me to get up and leave my house, walking all the way down to the end of the street where the main road was. It was all very surreal and confusing. It was as though there was something inside of me that was alive and pulling me, forcing me to do this. It was so quiet and even though I knew people got killed on that street all the time I wasn't afraid. That's when I saw him. A young man of maybe 25 or so, standing a little stiffly on the other side of the street, right across from me. It seemed at first he didn't know what to do with himself. I somehow knew he was waiting for me and I crossed the street to stand next to him. We had some kind of link and our essences communicated. Never had I seen the young man, before but we knew each other. He was kind of shy in a way you could say but I broke the ice and said "Well, I know you are waiting for me to meet you-is there something you need to say?" or something to that effect. He said a few things to me as we stood side by side, facing ahead and occasionally looked down at me and would smile slightly. Then he explained that this was not the form I would see him in when we met again. He said it would make him more comfortable to jump ahead in time to a later form. He said he would be right back in the form he would like me to see. He walked a ways down the street until he disappeared into the shadows and then I could see his figure returning, no longer a boy but a man somewhere in his forties with a grey-tinged beard and a charismatic aura.
This time he was not shy at all. For some reason we had crossed the street to the other side, now-closer to my house thought I did not recall doing it. I remember standing there for what seemed like hours, perhaps. He talked and talked to me, telling me many things that are still deep in my subconscious. It was all compressed data-his voice became silent and I could just see his lips moving, his gestures. The greater meaning was comprehended but it was so much to take in that consciously downloading it did not happen at that time. I liked an element in his smile. Finally I told him that I needed to go home and that my mom wouldn't like me outside talking to a strange man. He understood and I headed back inside after saying bye.
The next day I was extremely confused. It was disturbing to know that I had been out talking to a stranger in the middle of the night. Then I started to wonder how it could have happened-little details didn't add up. How did I get out without waking up my parents? Did I even remember unlocking the door? When I saw the man there were so many of these fast-forward moments and "magical" type things that just don't happen like the man going from a person in his twenties to a person in his forties in a matter of moments. The downloads, the communication link, the way it felt like so many different things were happening at once-the way we could alter our experience by suddenly appearing places like being on one side of the road one moment and then being on the other but not having to walk the distance while the environment was otherwise a perfect copy-it was indicative of the astral.
I did not know what the astral was. I chalked it up to a dream-a very, very strange and vivid dream that was really not a dream but what I had to basically pretend was a dream. Two weeks later I was in the car with my mom. His face kept appearing as the older man, smiling at me in anticipation. It was a little messed up to be honest. I told my mom I met this man outside but that I was sure it was a dream and then I said "no-it was not a dream-it was real but I know I didn't go outside. He is real somewhere. I wonder why he is smiling at me like that". It upset her like most things did and I forgot about him until I was 13 when I saw a vision of us together sitting on a bench talking. It upset me a lot because in the vision he had replaced this other man I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life. I was raised to believe in one love, one relationship forever. And he ruined all that in my vision. He had a darkness in him that was palpable. And he was old-much older than me. However, there was a certain tie there that I did not have with the other man. I cried and cried knowing I would be with two men when I grew up-there was no fairy tale ending for me because my first relationship would have been a mistake, something broken. Then I forgot the visions which was for my own good and my own choice.
I would be 23 when I saw him again in my mind's eye. I did not recognize him at the time but wondered why I was seeing him and why he looked so familiar. Then we met in person to make a long story short. Many horrible things happened to us before, during and after we met. It has been a long, treacherous ordeal, trying to make sense of our union. We met in 2011 and our worlds exploded into a million pieces. Everything we loved died away. We loved and hated the other with fervor. We tried to destroy one another. The mirroring effect has been the worst.
He does not remember meeting me that night. At times it feels like a curse because I cannot shake the feeling that this cannot be broken, no matter how hard we try. In another way, I feel relieved that he is the last.