I’ve always found this word “selfish” intriguing. It’s such an empty word by itself yet there are so many loaded meanings and emotions to it. An artificial word, yet a powerful label.

To be labeled “selfish” is not a nice feeling for many of us so we would do whatever it takes to avoid being labeled as such, mostly, to try to put the happiness of others ahead of our own.

And it’s such a popluar ideal through human history in most cultures that a lot of people give up what makes them happy to “fit in” the consensus. the problem is, general consensus is just a bunch of ideals, concepts and labels that are all so empty inside.

We are all so uniquely different, yet we live our lives feeling like there is a bigger, more powerful entity that is called “most people”. I always wonder where this entity really is, or is “most people”  just an idea existing in individuals’ minds. It seems to me most individuals choose to be controlled by the code of conduct by invisible “most people”, and not feeling happy.

“Most people” is not an entity who has a mind; only individuals do. And if anyone who attempts to regulate your behaviours by saying this is what “most people” do or don’t do, tell them they can’t possibly speak on behalf of anyone else.

A student in my Self-Hypnosis class once brought this up, “I was once called by strangers selfish because I didn’t want to have children.”

I myself had this experience too, when I was travelling in a central American country. When I said I didn’t have children, people said, “Of course. You are still young.” And I said, “This doesn’t have anything to do with being young. I don’t think I’ve signed up for any child in this life. I won’t have one.” People looked at me shocked. “Don’t you think that’s selfish?”

What made them think it’s not selfish to bring a child to this world of suffering?

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