I'm currently experiencing life in a personal desert.  Normally people would run from such things, but I think I'm going to hang out here for a while.  With deserts come silence and I could really use that.  I've lost track of my purpose in this life. Didn't realize when I left the reservation but I'm definitely off.  Not angry or sad about, just mildly irritated.  I should be glad it's mild.  Who wants to be pissed about it?  I think I can surely say that evolution contributed to my leaving of the reservation.  The changes I've experienced have thwarted my plans.  I'm breaking under this pressure.  I'm very tired.  And I was really hoping that this would be my last life on earth because really, who wants to come back to this war zone?  If I don't get back on track, I'll be coming back here.  That blows.  I would only come back if Jaegers were real and if I could be a Jaeger pilot (Pacific Rim).

What's interesting is that I endure the pain of most others.  A pain they don't realize that they're carrying, at least, not consciously.  Lately and luckily, that pain has reduced.  I've determined that I've managed to psychically shut myself off. Not completely but something is better than nothing. People say that being an empath is a blessing.  Let me be the first to tell them that they have no idea what they're saying.  None whatsoever.  My purpose involves, well used to involved, community activism.  With that, one works with others.  It was something I loved.  But how can I continue doing that when most people cause me pain?  They say and do nothing; I simply enter their space and experience psychic pain that filters down to the physical level.  Evolution, the Ascension, did that to me.

And now here I am in the desert without a compass and there are no stars.  This state is mildly chaotic, and I prefer order.  It's simply in my nature.  Order, balance, silence, peace.  The needful things.