*JESHUA* - ABANDONMENT and SELF-WORTH

Jeshua : Abandonment and Self-Worth20 September 2009 - 12:51pm |Channeler: Judith CoatesABANDONMENT AND SELF-WORTH5 September 2009Beloved and holy and only Child of our heavenly Father, Child of theone Source, Child of Light, divine. That is who you are. Take itdeeply within the consciousness and contemplate what that means.I am the one known as Jeshua ben Joseph, Jesus you have called me, andit is in great joy that I come to abide with you this evening in yourtiming as you have chosen once again to call me forth. Great joy, yourdivine nature. We have spoken often how the world will give unto youthe opportunity for challenge, for heaviness, for worrying withproblems like a dog worries with a bone and chews it down to themarrow to get to the good part of it. We have spoken how the worldwill give you all of the complexities of “What if?” Especially all ofthe negative what ifs.But your divine nature is one of joy, one of lightheartedness. That iswhy we speak of light and we speak of the lightworkers which you are,and to follow that through to be lighthearted no matter what the worldwill say about appearances; to find yourself in joy no matter thecondition of the physical body, but to know that the spirit livesforever, and the spirit truly rules the body.Many of you have been working with questions of wondering, “Who am I?Why am I? Have I been before? How can I overcome some of the questionsthat I feel in my life? How can I come to that place thatintellectually I understand myself to be, but how can I really knowit?”I would speak to you this evening about energy. Now, we have spoken ofthat in other times, as well. Imagine for a moment a sphere, any sizethat you want to imagine. We will take one perhaps twelve inchesacross just as an example, but it can be as big as you want it to be.Within that sphere are many points of connection that are connected byenergy to each other so that to appearances it would be a solid, densesphere.But in truth, in between every point of energy there is much space,the same as your scientists now are teaching you about your universe,that there is truly more space than there is of the energy that isbetween the objects that have collected themselves into the denserform of object in any dimension.You have brought forth the sphere and all of the points within it. Notonly that, but you have said that the sphere of experience isinfinite, which means that what you would understand in this realityas having boundaries to make a sphere is truly open-ended with noboundaries. But this reality yet understands boundaries and says thateverything has to have a beginning, a middle, and an ending. Every boxhas to have sides to it. Everything that you imagine must have at somepoint the delineation of a boundary of some sort.But I am speaking to you now of infinite energy, so that with the deepbreath that you just took, you are in that space of infinite energyinteracting with yourself and with what you see in this reality to beothers. But in truth, the others are you as aspects of you, aspects ofthe One of you. That is how huge, enormous, and divine that you are.You interact with every point within the infinite sphere that knows noboundaries and, because from one point to another point what connectsit is a line, you call it in this reality the linear timeline, and yousay, “Past lives, future lives, present life, present connections,etc.” but in truth, it is all happening at the same time, which is anon-time.Now, that in this reality boggles the mind a bit, because thisreality, for security reasons, wants to know, “How far towards theedge can I go before I fall off? I want there to be a boundarysomewhere so that I can know myself to be within and to be safe withinthat boundary.”But in truth, you are always safe, you are always expanding, and whenthe purpose of time, as you have built it into this reality, has beenfulfilled; in other words, the moment that you realize that you arenot bounded by time at all, then time will no longer exist. You arealready working, moving towards that place, because I have heard somany of you say, “I am running out of time.”Listen to what you say. “I am running out of time. I can’t geteverything done that I want to get done. I am running out of time.”Well, blessed be, yes, you are running out of time. You are movinginto that infinite space that knows itself to not be limited in anyway; to be free to manifest anything that you want to manifest,anything that you may not consciously think you want to manifest, inorder to know the flip side of it, the blessing of it, because inhuman life oftentimes that which looks to be a challenge, that whichlooks to be a threat, is in truth a blessing, an opportunity, if youwill, for coming home; not in the sense of having to decease the body,but coming home in the sense of awakening to your true divinity andyour true being.So oftentimes you will make for yourself the challenges so that youcan know your strengths, so that you can know the power of yourdivinity. You have agreed before an incarnation that, as the energythat you are, you will interact with other points of energy. What iscalled the soul group is vast. The ones who are in resonance with eachother, as far as vibratory level, often agree that they will come andfind each other no matter where, what geographical country, locationyou may be in. You find a nudging that pushes you to somewhere and youmeet up with friends; friends of the soul group who have decided,agreed that they will be incarnate at the same time.You have done this over and over many times so that you could playtogether, so that you could support each other, so that you could moveforward in the enlightenment of the collective. So once again all ofyou have agreed that no matter where the physical body may be residingyou will know yourself to be infinite energy connecting to all otherswho are also awakening to what they have felt deep within their heartof knowing that the human life is good, but it’s not all there is;knowing each day to look for the positive, the good, the blessing ineach day, and then to know that it is but the tip of the iceberg—thereis just more of the joy of divinity—and allowing yourself then torevel in it as the Child, the holy, innocent Child that you are.Oftentimes there are questions in the human experience of feelingunworthy, of feeling that you are somehow not home, and there’s ahomesickness, a longing, wanting to know, “Where is home?” This humanexperience, good as it is, is not home, and you look for home withvarious friends, various experiences; you look for it in nature, andyou find parts of it: places, times, instances where you feelconnected to the divinity of you and you feel connected to the lovethat you are.You meet a friend and you get to discussing various things that bringyou joy, and for a minute or longer you spend time in that place oflove. You spend time in that place of home. You meet up with an oldfriend you haven’t seen for some time, and instantly there is thatfeeling of being at home with them. That is your true nature. That isyour divinity calling to you and saying, “Live here.” As often as youwill remember, allow yourself to live at home, to be at home even inthe body, even in the world; to remember home, to remember love.Oftentimes there has been a feeling of abandonment. All of you havemade evidence in lifetimes where you have been abandoned by ones youhave trusted—friends you have trusted, parents you have trusted, amate you have trusted, someone that you thought would always be therefor you—and then they decease the body. Or they found the grass wasgreener somewhere else, or thought it was, and went somewhere else.You have felt abandoned and you have wondered at a very deep level,“What have I done? I must not be good enough. If I had been goodenough, I would still be at home. If I had been good enough, the lovedone wouldn’t have left me. If I had been good enough, this challengein the human experience wouldn’t have come.”That is what separated ego tells you. That is the scripting ofseparated ego: to bring you the silver platter and to say, “Master,look at this. How do you feel about this experience? Do you feel thatyou have been abandoned because you are not good enough?” And manytimes you have answered, “Yes. Obviously I’m not good enough;otherwise they wouldn’t have left me; otherwise I wouldn’t have beenlost outside of the kingdom of heaven.I must have sinned greatly, but I don’t remember what it was. I’vebeen told there is original sin, and I must have been part of it. ButI don’t remember what that original sin was, except maybe I forgot mydivinity. Maybe that’s the original sin.” And it is the only…not evensin, but the only temporary mis-take, as you have in your movies. Youhave a take 342, because there have been 341 mis-takes. So then youtake another run-through of an episode, an incident, whatever.So from the “evidence” that you have made for yourself in manylifetimes there has come the feeling that, “I’m not good enough.” Evenas you are a small one, the parents, oftentimes being loving andsincerely wanting to help you, will point out how you could be alittle bit better. And you, as the small one, take the message and youkind of turn it around and you say, “Oh, well, I’m not good enough;otherwise, they wouldn’t be telling me how I could be better.”And that is what you carry with you oftentimes at a subconsciouslevel, the message that I’m not quite good enough. I can always bestriving to be better, to read the right book, to meet the rightteacher, to go to the right meetings, to travel to the right countrywhere there is the great one who will heal me, who will heal theemptiness of me; always looking for something “out there”, when intruth you are already home within yourself as you awaken to the lovethat you are; as you wake up in the morning and you begin by blessingyourself and saying, “How great I am. I’m here. One more day I am hereto play. One more day. Let us see what happens in this day. What can Ibring forth in this day? Where will I go? Who will I meet? What willwe say?” And to look at each day as a gift.Now, some of your friends who have been through what they will callmajor challenges where they have been told that they only have a fewdays, weeks, months perhaps to keep on activating the body, or oneswho have come through what you call the near-death experience, findthat each day is a gift, find themselves feeling happy that there isone more day.Now, I know the world view is to say, “Oh, no, one more day tostruggle through; one more day to get all of these tasks done; onemore day to try to meet the deadlines—which are truly deadly—one moreday; I hope there’s something good in it,” as opposed to waking up inthe morning and saying, “This is a gift; one more day that I havegiven to myself to interact with the friends, to interact with myselfand all of the points of energy within this infinite sphere—that wehave just talked about—and to know that I am powerful to attract to methat which is blessing me in every moment.Because truly that is what you are doing, and I want you to realize,to make it real in your consciousness, to understand that you are themagnet of energy that is drawing to you everything you draw to you toexperience, and—hear this well—to call it good; not to say, “Oh, mygoodness, look what I’ve called to me. Look at this manure.” Well,even manure has its blessing. But to look at everything that you callto yourself and know that truly you have done it from the soul levelin order to see the blessing in it.Sometimes there are challenges to get past the world view, becausehabitually that is what you have been taught, that the world is aplace of chaos, it is a world of judgment, it is a world that isharsh, that you have to struggle through it, and that if you are luckyenough you might get your reward later on.But why wait? Take your reward right now. Eat your dessert first, andenjoy it. See that everything that you bring to yourself is ablessing, and begin to quite literally count your blessings. Each andevery one of you who has ever felt discouraged, abandoned, lost, orhas felt a lack of confidence, count your blessings. Look around youand see how often you—even as you see yourself to be a personality—areaffirmed by the friends, by the experiences that you have.Everything in your life is affirming your worthiness. That is not themessage of the world, but it is the message of truth. For as thatparticle of energy, you cannot help but attract as a magnet otherenergy to you, and it takes different forms. You have built that inbecause you wanted to play with different appearances, differentexperiences, and habitually to judge them. And habitually they getjudged in a negative way.But begin by counting your blessings. Look around right now and seeall of the blessings gathered in this room, every one of them ablessing. Everyone is walking love, ready to affirm to you yourworthiness; otherwise, you would not have called them forth. You havecalled them forth in order to know how worthy you are, how divine, howpowerful you are, what an energy magnet you are, that power of love,the power of love that walks on four feet [He says as Caleb the catwalks by], the power of love that walks on two feet.Count the blessings. Look on the positive side of everything. If youdon’t see the positive side of something right away, flip it. Say,“Okay, here is this experience. This is how it looks to me now. Okay,I’m going to walk around and see something different.” Look at it fromall angles. If it is not apparent right away, search until you findthe blessing in it, and it will not be hidden from you.You have magnetized it. You have brought it to you. You are thecreator of everything you experience; therefore, you are the master ofit. So there is nothing, no thing, no condition, no experience that ismore powerful than you. You are the master of it.Throughout lifetimes, because of the heaviness of feeling outside ofhome and outside of Love—capital “L”—you have reinforced for yourselfover and over the feeling of unworthiness, the feeling of, “I don’tknow what it is, and I certainly wouldn’t have done it if I’d known,but I must have done something really bad in order to have called thisto myself.”The truth of the matter is, you are very strong. Only the strongestones, only the masters call to themselves that which would be seen tobe difficult and challenging. Let that sink in for a moment. Only themasters would have the courage to say, “Okay, let me try thatexperience. I want to know that experience from the inside out; notjust to look at it as an appearance that maybe somebody else isexperiencing, but I want to know it from the inside.”And so then your wish is granted, and you get to experience variousthings, various challenges as the world would call them, but actuallythey are blessings. You get to experience them intimately to the placewhere you begin to understand that you are that point of energy. Youare in that infinite sphere of energy that is forever ongoing, forevercreating, and will, past any limitation of time, exist and create andcreate. Let that sink in.When you begin to realize how powerful you are, there is a freedomthat comes, a freedom that the world does not know, a freedom thatsays, “I do not have to worry what this day is going to bring me,because I know it is going to be all good. I know that the world maypresent it in a certain way, but what does the world know?”The world only knows a set of paradigms that has been lived over andover and over and has truly been completed. The world only knows thatwhich has already been completed. So when you come to that place offreedom, when you wake up to the place—and I mean literally in themorning when you wake up—and you say, “This day is a gift. This day ismine. I have made this day for myself,” then there is the freedom tolive in a new paradigm of joy, to be able to understand that you havenever truly left home.You have extended yourself as a rubber band, perhaps, into a realitythat believes that there could be other than love, but you are therubber band that has its point of origin and at any moment can snapright back to that place of love, that place of home. This is what youdo lifetime after lifetime. You extend yourself into a lifetime to seewhat it feels like, what you can do with it, and then when you arecomplete with enough of it—maybe you’ve covered yourself in a wholelot of manure and you want out—then you snap back and you go back homeagain. And the soul group welcomes you home.The soul group grows in experience and understanding and in knowingitself each time you have the courage as the master that you are tocome one more time into a place that does not know only love. Everyexperience that you do, you do not only for yourself. You always feelthat, “Well, this is my experience and I’m the only one feeling it,”but you do it for the whole soul group, and the soul group expands inknowing how energy can play with itself.Allow yourself to see the body as energy, because truly that’s what itis. There is much more space within the body than there is point ofdensity of light. There is much more space within the body. It feelssolid. It feels like there are limitations to it, but in truth, youare energy that is forever mixing around in the body, all of the time.Even as you think you are just sitting on a chair or lying on the bed,that energy in you is always moving around, coming to differentformations. Some of the formations you keep for awhile. Others of theformations just move on and go into another formation.You do a miracle in bringing the body into the form that youconsciously know as your body. It is a miracle that you carry frommoment to moment to moment, and when you wake up in the morning, againyou assume the same focus of what the body is going to be. A momentbefore you woke up, what was that body doing? In truth, it was movingaround, as the energy that it is, floating around and being amorphous,without shape.Now, someone who walks into the room, they are going to see shape.Why? Expectancy; what they have known from lifetime to lifetime tolifetime in this reality to be true—lower case “t”. But in truth, youare energy that is moving all of the time. Every part of the body ismoving. As I speak to you right now, there are synapses in the brainthat are firing, going off, allowing the message to be taken in in acertain way. All of you are hearing the message in your own uniqueway.Every muscle, every organ in the body is moving as energy that it is,forming, reforming. You even know this from your science, youranatomy, and the functioning of the body. The stomach and intestinesare very busy all of the time. They are squeezing and squeezing andsqueezing, letting up, squeezing, relief. The heart is pumping theblood. It is squeezing, releasing, squeezing, resting, squeezing,etc.And that is just on the more obvious level. But truly, you are awalking ball of energy that you have fashioned into a form that youunderstand to be you and that others understand to be you, andsometimes the most wonderful thing happens to prove this to you. Ifyou haven’t seen a friend in some years and you meet up with them sayten or twenty years later, their form has changed. Now, how did thathappen? If they are one form and they are rigid form, they wouldalways be that form. But you meet up with them later, and the form haschanged. They look different. Sometimes you don’t even recognize them.And then they start to speak and you say, “Oh, yes, it’s you. Oh,okay.”I want you to understand how malleable, how changeable the body is,the energy of the body. It responds to your thoughts. Now, you’veheard that. It’s a great saying. It’s a great platitude—to controlyour thoughts, manifest what your thoughts are. Now, in truth, that isreally what happens. And if you go around feeling that it’s really,really a struggle to be here… “I don’t know why everybody has left me”…Well, I mean, if you’re going to be a sad sack, people are going toleave you. They don’t want to be around that energy any more than youwant to be around that energy. But if you get up in the morning andyou’re just really ready for this day—“I want to see what this day isgoing to bring. I am so happy, I wake up laughing.”—I mean, you can dothis. You can literally do this—wake up laughing.Wake yourself up tomorrow morning laughing at a dream that you may ormay not remember, but wake up laughing. It can be done. And say toyourself, “This day is going to be full of laughter. It’s going to befull of blessings. It is going to mirror back to me the affirmation ofmy self-worth of how worthy I am to be the divine holy innocent Childliving the human experience.”No longer do you need to feel stuck into what the world has saidreality has to be. That is where the freedom comes in. When yourealize that the world has not made you, the world is not your maker,then it has no power over you. You are the maker of you. And if youare the maker of you and you don’t like what you’re experiencing,change the script.Allow yourself to feel free. If there are things that you want tochange in your life and they seem really big, start with one step andanother step and then another step, but start. Don’t just sit and say,“Oh, it’s a mountain; I’ll never be able to climb up over that.” Well,of course, you can’t if that’s the attitude. But if you begin bysaying, “Well, I can climb a little ways up that mountain…” and thenyou get up a ways and you look back and you say, “Oh, I see a valley.I must have come a ways up the mountain.” And then you go a littlefarther and a little farther.Every so-called challenge is seen in a new way as you will start witha willingness. That is the only thing you have to have is willingnessto see things differently; to begin to visualize yourself as that ballof energy that is forever moving and changing; changing shape withinyourself and the outer, as well.Many of you, if you get tired of a certain personality, you cut yourhair; it makes a big change. Sometimes you change the color of yourhair. Sometimes you will change the raiment so that you look a bitdifferent. You decide you want to have a change of how you appear toother people. Sometimes you decide to go on what is called the dietand you lose a bit of weight, and so you change the form.All of the time you are moving energy. You are not solid. There isnothing solid about the body, nothing that cannot be changed, and youcan do it through various modalities, various ways. That is one of thebeautiful freedoms that comes with the awareness that that which is atthis moment in a certain shape and condition, whatever, can be changedby whatever way you want to change it, and there is no judgmentattached to it, because you are free to know that you are thecreator.So if you had several people lined up with the same body condition,and person “A” chooses to eat only raw food and they know that that’sgoing to be their healer, the way they are going to heal; okay, person“B” says he is going to go with a certain pharmaceutical thing thathas been devised by himself, because otherwise it would not exist inhis consciousness, so he has created it. Person “A” cannot judgeperson “B”, and person “B” cannot judge person “A”. Everyone makestheir free choice as to what is their way to go.As you become the beholder and you can step back and review, re-lookat previous lifetimes, you will see that perhaps in this lifetime youare choosing to go the route of the pharmaceuticals. Other lifetimesyou have been the raw food advocate to the place where perhaps othersdidn’t want to hear anything more from you. You’ve been on all sidesof the belief systems (plural).So then you begin to understand just how fluid everything is—not justthe body, but relationships and everything, even as you feel that thechair is solid, the house seems to be solid. This house is energy, andthe walls are moving. Luckily, you are moving in the same sync withthe house, with the chair, so that you don’t have any fallingthrough.But everything is energy, everything is in motion, everything isfluid, everything is changeable and is changing. There comes thatfreedom to choose; no judgment. What is right for one person is theirchoice. What is right for another person is their choice. The worldloves to judge. The world loves to say, “You’re not quite ready. Youdon’t know enough. Your self-worth isn’t high enough to make the rightchoice. Let me tell you. I will judge for you.”And then you have seen that the funny thing of that is, you ask oneperson and they tell you very sincerely. You ask another person,another friend, and they will tell you very sincerely what theybelieve about you. And you go to another person and they will say,“Well, they’re not right. This is how you are. This is what you shoulddo—“should” do. As many people as you approach, you will have as manyopinions, and you can do that as a game for yourself and then come tothe place where you say, “This what I choose, and I don’t care if thisone or that one or anyone else has judgment about it. That is wherethey are living, but that’s not where I’m living. I am living righthere with my choice with what I know to be my path at this moment.”Now, hear that well, because at any other moment you are free tochoose a new path. That is part of the freedom. So you see, nothing isever set, except love. Allow yourself to live in joy. Allow yourselfto wake up in the morning laughing; laughing at how silly you havebeen the day before to have worried about whatever it was that youwere worried about, and just say, “Ah, you know, I see thatdifferently now. Hey, you know, I really tied myself up in knotsyesterday about that. And he said to me and I thought he meant and Iwas really upset about that, but that doesn’t really matter.”And you begin to laugh. You see things differently. And the freedomthat comes with seeing things differently brings you back home. Andthe soul group that you are working for and with expands, becausethere has been that change in energy, that change in the old energy ofan old paradigm that says this is how it has to be, and you havebroken out of it.And the whole soul group that is not separate from you…again, it’svery…if you can imagine a drop of water as it goes down a stair, andit flows, this drop of water, down another stair and another stair andhow it goes, that is how the soul group…it’s vast; it’s not just likea drop of water; it’s not that small; it is huge. But it moves all inconcert with itself as each individual—seemingly individual—goes asthe rubber band that we spoke of into an experience of any dimension,any reality, and will feed that back to the soul group, and the soulgroup—much as maybe you would see in an amoeba, something like thatmoving along; well, it’s huger than that—it expands, it grows, itmoves, it creates, it changes.That is why you can do healing with ones. That is why there isinstantaneous healing when one all of a sudden, just like that, thesnap of a finger, realizes, “The world didn’t make me. My maker, I—capital “I”—soul of me, the divine me, made me; the divine I (I’mtrying to find the right terminology). The world didn’t make me, so itdoesn’t matter what the world says. I am forever changing, moving,expanding, growing in my awareness, and I am so loved by mySelf—capital “S”—that I am allowing myself to experience what the worldwill call a challenge. I am so loved by all of me that there is neveranything that I could do wrong.I have choices, I have experiences, I look at the different flowersthat are along the roadway, the pathway. The zinnia does not look likethe pansy. The lily does not look like the daisy. They’re allbeautiful, each in its own way…as you are. And so you have wanted toexperience, “How does it feel to be the daisy? The sunflower? Thecactus? Cactus? Cacti are pretty. You have seen cactus flowers, yes?And they are beautiful. And many different varieties.Well, it’s the same with all of you—many different varieties. You walkon two feet, for the most part, but you’re all different; uniqueexperiences. And yet underlying all of it is the divinity of theOneness that you are.So I have given you much to think about in this evening. Visualize theinfinite sphere of the energy, the points of light, the points ofenergy, even more than lights, and how they are connected, how theyare always working together. Visualize the body as energy, alwayschanging, moving, very active, very fluid, and know that the world isnot your maker. You are in charge. You have never been abandoned. Youhave made experiences that have said, “I am unworthy; therefore, I’vebeen abandoned. I’m not good enough.”And so you have lived under that umbrella, like living under amushroom, perhaps, for some lifetimes. But that doesn’t matter; thereis no judgment. And in truth, there is no time, so you have forever tolive under the mushroom and then to come out and look up at themushroom and say, “Hm, great manifestation. Who would ever havethought how to make a mushroom?”Imagine living under a mushroom. Know you—I’m getting off on a tangenthere, but that’s okay—the intricacies of a mushroom, all of thevarious segments of a mushroom as you look from underneath? Fantasticcreation. You bring forth most wonderful creations, and you areforever in any moment changing.So if you are the creator of all of this fantastic universe, you mustbe worth something. You are affirmed by everything you see. Allowyourself to feel worthy, and then allow yourself to be in that love ofworthiness so that all others who come into your presence feel thatthey are worthy of your love, as I love you. So be it.About Oakbridge UniversityWith the emergence of a new consciousness of Light and Love comes aremembrance of who we are. Stirrings in the heart echo whispers in themind and a yearning to know, to express, to experience more of theLight and Love is awakened within us. Oakbridge University, founded in1989, was born of the desire to provide an opportunity for suchexperience.Mission StatementPromote peace in the world, respect all life and the empowerment ofeach person to fulfill his or her highest potential.http://www.oakbridge.orgjudith@oakbridge.orgCopyright © 2007 Oakbridge University. All rights reserved.
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