Christmas is over. Yippee. Not that I do not like Christmas its that I do not respond well to it. Let me explain. Over the last couple of years I have noticed that I get really agitated during the holiday season. I never understood why. I used to think it was the hustle and bustle. The holiday season is stacked with birthdays, Christmas parties, shopping, baking and the actual holiday including big meals.
This year I thought might be different. I decided to eliminate some of the stress. I almost did not even decorate for the holidays. However, at the last minute I decorated my house for a little diner party with Christmas decorations to be in the spirit of the season. Almost immediately I was angry. I thought it was the stress of hosting a diner party on the fly. As the decorations hung with joy, I noticed my heart was not filled with joy. I asked myself why do I not feel joy? Why all the tension in my home? All year my heart has been full of joy, why now?
As the week progressed my anxiety progressed, tensions building minute by minute with bursts of explosive energy. This is not like me so I tried to look inside. Was it the stormy weather? Was it the large meals? Was it the Sugar? Was it the company? Just what was causing this anger and madness?
This energy inside was building and building and I could not shake it, depression started to set in.
Finally relief came. I was watching a David Ike film called The Freedom Road and he mentioned changing the environment to change the attitude. The film also talks about the symbolism behind many of the decorations. Immediately after watching the movie we started to take down the decorations. As soon as we removed the tree and all the red we felt better.
Red is an angry color to begin with, why would they chose red for such a joyful time. Red usually is associated with emotions of violence and warfare. Strong sense of anger. I am told:
The Color Red:The first color of Christmas, symbolizing that Savior's sacrifice for all.
Back to my original story. I am not sure why the decorations effected me so. It is not the over commercialism of the holiday because we did not include gift giving. The focus this year was the spirit of the holiday. I enjoyed making candy with my mother and I enjoyed seeing all the friends and relatives. I also enjoy the coming new year and the birth of our sun.
Has anyone else experienced this anger this year?
Comments
as far i've seen, the christmas kept the happiness for itself.
Now it is payback. The hell seems to have stepped in?
I bend my thumb twice it should turn right after newyear..
Oh yes, I totally understand ;-)
For me its as if a dark cloud takes over and I turned into a crazed maniac, ready in attack mode... and when I snapped out of it I felt like I had just come out of the Twilight Zone. Interesting...RED colors, its as if in our subconscious we have misinterpreted so much and the anger needs to be finally transmuted... this makes sense for me anyways. Thank you for this, its good to know many of us are not alone with these heavy dense feelings during the holidays. I thought it was only commercialism but its probably a mixture of everything, too much sugar (I have to stop with the addictive sugars) and all the hustle and bustle of visitors or visiting others. Its a whirl and for those of us who aren't the most social it is stressful to go out of the comfort zone (just me again).
I guess 2010 was a year of much purging, which is a good thing but requires gentleness and non judgments on our parts. So much stuff that no longer serves our highest good is being released and although many are holding onto anger (which is just another manifestation of fear) it is time to let it go. But this year has been so gentle and amazing in helping us release all the stuff that is poisonous to our souls. Thanks twin flames for your great post!
Namaste!
I totally relate, during the past 7 days Ive had a lot of unexplainable anger. I quickly realized it had nothing to do with external circumstances. My rational explanation was that it was related being still living in the 3d illusion;
Why don't I have more answers about everything that happened to me in 2010?
Did my guides/higher beings pulled a trick on me ?
Shouldn't we be farther along the awakening process already ?
But Im not even sure thats why I was angry...