Comments

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  Moanna September 18, 2012 at 3:54am

  Thanks for sharing your stories :) I agree with all of it.

  Knowledge is power. Understanding that bullies are actually covering up the fact that they are intimidated by those with integrity helps to demystify their behaviour, which teaches us, firstly, to not take it personally, since it's about them, not about you. Secondly, by not reacting like them, we can do our bit to end the cycle of bullying. Thirdly, letting them know that we feel bad when they speak to us that way can be more helpful than we would assume. A lot of the time people don't know that they are being bullies, as that's all they know and perhaps that's how they were brought up. Even narcissists, the most evil type of bully, have been abused in early life and have learnt to not trust humans, therefore feeling that it's a dog eat dog world and they have to be mean first, in order to survive.That's quite sad, if you ask me.

  As well as that. all beings fear pain and violence, and bullies can't take their own medicine. These are important points. Bullying in return is truly the last resort.  

  Once I was being repeatedly publicly humiliated, by a guy who'd once told us that he became a bully at school after being bullied himself. I was usually too shocked and taken by surprise to react appropriately, but I'd have 100 comebacks in my head, all of which were bullying him in return, so I'd have to bite my tongue. Also he was a better bully than me because he'd had years of practise, and I didn't want to be like him. The 100th thing on my list of potential comebacks was "I like you, and I love you, but I don't like it when you bully me." Although it was the truth, I was angry by then and it made me feel sick to have to say it to him. However, by chance it was the one response that I ended up using, and his response was "Do I bully you? OMG I do bully you. Wow. I'm so sorry, that's awful." I said it's OK but he said "No, let me think about this, give me a moment" He was genuinely shocked that he came across as a bully. He was good for a month but then slipped back into his ways, but I knew I had the moral high ground and I was able to repeatedly ignore his behaviour, and he just looked like a dickhead in public. The point is that I didn't give him my power; I didn't allow myself to be dragged down to his level of nastiness. One of us had to be the adult and it wasn't going to be him. Anyway he's a bit scared of me these days and treats me with much more respect than he ever did. :)))

  @ terence lee is this useful?

  Losing our fear of bullies and treating them with the respect (that they have probably missed out on) makes them lose their power over us. Now I have a lot of friends who would be considered bullies by others and they often yell and overpower others when they feel worried, it turns out. It's a childish reaction to their own fear. A lot of them are often lonely too, because they are bullies.

  I once had a boss who was amazing with emotional people who were abusive towards staff. He'd just take them aside in private and ask what the real problem was. "My wif'es leaving me" or something totally unrelated to their apparent gripe. 

  So when someone's yelling and throwing things, asking what's really bothering them might bet a better alternative to reacting negatively ourselves. We don't have to answer to every fight that is being picked. We can sit quietly and let their words hang in the air, just listening, take our time to decide whether it's worth it, and if not, ignore it. We might think of something worthwhile to say later on, and may approach the person in private... anyway, there are no rules that say we have to do what they want.

  My approach in life has been to be friendly to everyone and avoid nasty buggers. But sometimes they find me...but I'm not scared anymore, now that I have some tools up my sleeve.

  I hope this helps! XOX love and truth! 
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  John - Artist September 17, 2012 at 2:52pm

  Thank You, very good read.   Explains alot of whats taking place here at AC over the years.  its nice to have this under your belt to refer to.   John
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  Lester Reece Haworth III September 17, 2012 at 2:31pm

  In the third grade i got beat up three times in one year. That summer my Dad who was a boxer in the marines, taught me how to fight. When I was in the fourth grade I was the new bully. As I entered High school I found out there were kids who were bigger bullies than me and being the bully no longer suited me. While I couldn't avoid every fight, I found that I had a talent for getting along with most everyone and things were more peaceful after that. I think most people who were bullies in school (like me) regretted it. Really you can't be a bully forever because the constant fighting takes a physical, emotional, and spiritual toll on you. In my adult life, I saw many bullies who would belittle and use words to beat another person down. Often I could counsel these folks and impart some wisdom and guidance to them but not always. A great teacher I had in high school asked me who I loved the most in my life. I told her I loved my Mom the best. Then she told me to try and interact with everyone like they were my mother. I have used this successfully throughout my life and it has worked well for me. Not perfectly but close enough. Very good post! Thank you and blessings,
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  KellyB13 September 17, 2012 at 2:05pm

   

  Thanks for sharing this info : )

  It's important to define what bullying is,

  since many people don't seem to realize when they're doing it!

  Love, Peace & Joy To All...

  ~XOX~

   

  

  

  

  https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8114372496?profile=original
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  terence lee September 17, 2012 at 1:20pm

  I was once a victim of school bullies most of the time until I left. I was once bullied at work as well. This info is useful but how far it can assist? This dimension is full of so many negative people so do you think it's easy to avoid them? How many more victims does it take only to pollute the planet's energy?