4.10.11

Tell me what you think of this, ya'll.  2 days ago, I was broken up with by a boy with whom i have what I'll call a romantic friendship.  We have not hooked up, but at times it has seemed like it was heading in that direction.  I could understand why we would part ways and I could understand how we could work it out.  I am at peace with either direction because my internal source is solid.  Now here is the interesting thing.  SINCE THIS HAPPENED (and i didn't argue at all, I just said 'okay, take care of yourself'.)  I have felt his spirit burning inside me a very profound joy and love that feels like it is very much not the end.

I am not sure what to make of this and this is a good subject to experiment on because I am open to letting the future unfold, without weighing it down with desperation... And because I will likely find my answer in the not so distant future.  So... any thoughts?  I had a few dreams over the months where I was told we are going to hook up and I need to overcome for this to happen.  Could have just been a dream.  Who knows.  I'm okay without him... There's a lot of amazing men out there... It's just that... We've been close for so long, it seems kind of unfortunate to lose that and start from scratch, plus i LOVE the way we click.  But I can feel him burning inside me so intensely its insane.  When I feel it, it tells me he'll be back, but I am not banking on that, simply because I refuse to live in my head.  All I feel is this tremendous joy and perpetual belly laughter that leaves my conscious self rolling around in hysterics.

Thoughts?