"Stop and think. Make a good choice."
"Remember to breathe when your tummy gets tight. Breath. Let's breathe together."
"Use your words, not your fists. People are not for hurting."
"You can do it. I know you can get your mads under control."
I understand, right now you are feeling mad. Still, you can't hurt people, things or yourself."
"You are the kind of kid who can take care of his own bad feelings."
"Go to a safe place and draw out your mads."
"You have a choice: Talk out your feelings or go to time out and get your mads under control."
"Well, I'm feeling mad right now myself. I'm going to go cool off, then we'll talk."
"I know how you feel. Sometimes I get mad myself. Then I tell myself, "It's OK to be mad if you are nice about it."
"Thanks for sharing your angry feelings. Good choice in using your words!"
"We are learning to be a 'Speak your feelings' kind of family. No more 'Mad Family' for us."
"I believe in you. Sometimes it's tough, isn't it?"
"You are one terrific kid!"
This information is from the book, The Mad Family Gets Their Mads Out ($9.95 +$3 s&h from Talk, Trust and Feel Therapeutics * 1120 Buchanan Avenue * Charleston, IL 61920 * 217-345-2982)). Text and illustrations are copyright 1995 Lynne Namka.
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boy oh boy have i done most of that until i do it in my sleep. but now he is 15, refuses to go to school, despite having been from public to private to private via computer from home. nothing. he hates society and most people. he thinks he is much smarter than his teachers and refuses to "play the game." he had an "attitude" in utero and it has only grown since then. he thinks my kindness is seen by others as weakness. and if touched or backed into a corner by anyone, things will likely get physical.