Peregrine's Posts

this.

Posted by Peregrine on April 2, 2010 at 3:13am

My shadow's
shedding skin and
I've been picking
Scabs again.
I'm down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I've been hiding in

My shadow.
Change is coming through my shadow.
My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within

My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I've been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.

See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me.

Thought you should know

Posted by Peregrine on April 2, 2010 at 3:02am

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form I hold now.
Embracing you, this reality here,
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful.
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.

We barely remember what came before this preciousmoment,
Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in
This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is anillusion.

We barely remember who or what came before this preciousmoment,
We are choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside

This holy reality, this holy experience.
Choosing to be here in

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here thatIam not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion.

Alive, I

In this holy reality, in this holy experience. Choosingto behere in

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here thatIam not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion.

Twirling round with this familiar parable.
Spinning, weaving round each new experience.
Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to bealive and breathing.

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.
Embrace this moment. Remember. We are eternal.
Allthis pain is an illusion.

Long Dream

Posted by Peregrine on March 18, 2010 at 3:39pm

Well, it started as a high school reunion and we went to like a camping ground with various activities and one of them was hunting...ive always been curious about hunting so i went to take a look. what i found was not hunting at all but more of a slaughter pen.. as me and my hunting guides drove through a small fenced area about 100 x 75m i saw goats, donkeys cows and sheep ...there was also a man with a sword i walked up to him and he chopped the head off a cow.....looked at me and i asked him if i could hold the sword...all i wanted to do was hold it and swing it, i never harmed a single animal.

I then found myself driveing my parents car the fuel was low ...almost on empty and i wanted to go for a quick drive around the area...this is still around the camping area...i drove down a dirt road and took the first left i came to which was a driveway it was like wooden boards painted green with grey bricks on the edges as i drove further i realised that i was high off the ground just under the canopy of the jungle twisting and turning through this narrow path in a car 50m above the ground sort of frightened me but i kept going. i came to what looked like a railway shed...it had tracks going through it but they were chest height but were in movable sections i decided i needed to drive in there to turn around so i got out and moved a section of the track just enough to fit the car in...but i looked around and found it wasnt a railway shed but someones house ..a treehouse! but not like the ones you made as a kid.... like a proper house...in the trees ..there were 2 rooms in it, one main room that was as long as the house but only half as wide with furnature like a couch, tv stand and a book shelf with very interesting ornaments..i forget exactly what they were but the bookshelf was a light turquoise colour. where i was standing...the whole floor was carpeted. behind me was what i think was a chest. behind me and to the right, an archway led to an outside area with a small kitchen and a balcony which streched out for about 40m over the jungle canopy..remember this is all about 60m above ground in thick jungle..then my parents arrived i heard them say who the house belonged to but unfortunatly i forget..my father walked in carrying a TV, he asked me where to put it i looked to my right and saw another tv on the stand...it was very dusty infact the whole house was dusty. like no one had lived there in quite a while. i told him to put it next to the other one. then nothing...i was alone.

what seemed like an hour and a minute passed all at the same time. suddenly a lady arrived...she walked in straight past me and said nothing then what appeared to be her husband arrived. i then started talking to them. i dont remember anything that was said but i remember laughing and really enjoying their company. the atmosphere built up and more people started arriveing i was sitting at a table outside and the lady approached me and offered me some weed i declined ...then she told me she also has extacy...actually anything i wanted.....i dont take drugs anymore but used to enjoy the lighter side of it...that..has nothing to do with the dream......i asked for an extacy pill and right away a group of people i have never met joined me at the table i sat there for a while silent for a short time then decided to go for a walk...i got up out of the chair and started walking...i was but 5 paces from the table when i realised my pill was still on the table...i turned around thinking someone might have stolen it....but it was still there., i took it on the spot and proceeded to continue my walk by the time i reached the end of the balcony i found myself at my home town by this time it was night time and i was walking along the river over a large bridge that was a part of my night time walk when i lived there 4 months ago.

by now i was feeling the effects of the drugs i had previously taken......and i actually felt it..... when i got to the other side of the bridge there was a fish and chip shop right on a canal that leads to a houseing estate...i wanted fish and chips....but first i walked around the back i saw what seemed to be a small pool only about 10ft long but the water was grey and quite un inviting it had sheets of plywood going length ways across it. i walked on the pieces of ply and they tipped over and i fell in the pool....the water felt relaxing and i wanted to stay there (tripping off my dial). a man walked through the back door of the fish and chip shop he was looking fo me but i hid under the ply wood....i dont know wether he didnt see me or just didnt care and before he walked inside there was another person standing next to the pool and i thought to myself.....im hideing...lol....so he walked inside and i got out of the pool.....a bit of water wasnt going to stop me from getting food...so i walked inside...the shop was very small and quite crouded but i managed to be second inline...the man infront of me said he has just been for a swim in the river and he was staying in the resort ....the guy behind the counter said..."thet'll be $15 thanks" the other guy paid and walked out. then it was my turn i was about to order my food when he said "$15 thanks" i was confused..he said "i couldnt help but notice you are wet " i said "what?!! im a local" he said "$12 then" i said "suck my balls" and walked out....

when i walked out i was in what seems now like africa not sure wether it was sunrise or sunset.... the sun was behind a mountain range i looked around and saw the two dudes from the hairy bikers cookbook ......weird....they were holding up a series of olde lutes and guitars and violins for me to play ....i picked a guitar and a bow from a violin i started playing ive never even touched a violin.....i played this....guitarolin......very strange i had the in my right hand with the head of it pointing towards my face and i played it with the bow in my left hand when i played it i was just mashing strings and thrusting the bow back and forth...just like ive seen voilinists play...but the more i played it the better i got and the better it sounded.i couldnt explain what it sounded like ...well...sort of like the music you hear that is so beautiful and powerfull it brings a tear to your eye...and..it sounded so good and i thought...wow....this sounds so good...i played and played and played and slowly my room started to appear and i was playing on my bed when my friend walked in and said...i got a ps3 beta...???seriously???...

i asked him where he got it from...he said he got it from "franks" ..all i did was look at one of the cables then i walked outside ...in noosa (hometown) i live in a couldersac ...2 houses to the right a guy was in th front yard with 2 of my friends he had what looked like a spacey black and red porta loo...i asked him what it was he said it is a bit lithium ion battery and he is useing it to power his car...he had a big cable running into a socket at the back of his car ...but he said its not working ...there was another smaller cable on the ground so i plugged it in and 2 green lights turned on at the battery and he said "oh its working not".....then i wandered off....

as i walked down the street i found my surroundings changeing the same way it had when i found myself in my bedroom but this time i found myself in a WW2 bomber part of a squadron flying through mountain ranges being chased by fighter planes but the plane was being controled by me but there was no one to man the guns ....so i had to fly the plane with my mind while i shot down the fighters behind me but the only thing was...the only way to get to the guns at the back was to crawl and there was always this nurse blocking my way ...i asked her to shoot some planes she just looked at me and didnty move...by this time i was really stressing....trying to fly a bomber and shoot fast little planes is really hard.....i heard bombs dropping....so i crawled up to the cockpit and saw the rest of the bombers were releasing their bombs...so i followed suit i thought "i know i have a specific target....but i dont have a crew...so this is gonna have to do" ...the other bombers turned away and i followed all the while i still had fighters on my tail .....somehow i started to lag behind the group and eventually was shot down...i remember seeing the outside of the tail of the bomber on fire.....then i woke up.

Chriso.