Try to find something here on earth that makes you happy and focus on that, keep searching, focus on living in the moment and find the beauty of existing in the moment, remind yourself of this. If you keep dwelling on not wanting to be here then you are not going to want to be here, so think of something else.
Jessi, I hear you. I know suffering. You must remember that everything that happens to you is for your evolution. No person can tell you your purpose other that you yourself. Your life is about finding that purpose and than living it. Moment by moment you will discover exactly why you are here. Trust me on that. ;-)
I know that you know that you will make it - whatever happens. :-)
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