My awakening began on January 25, 2003 when I experienced astral projection while I was asleep. I call it a “dream”, but it wasn’t; it was too real. I dreamt that I was in a room with low lighting, a hall, and I was a young prince standing before a council of Elders. I feel like I have been male in most of my incarnations, although I am a female in this life. I am a lesbian with a masculine inclination. While I was standing there before the Elders, with my palms horizontally covering each other in front of me, a sign of respect I later found out through research on Jewish mysticism, I could hear them murmuring with approval of me because I had done something
special. I had a feeling that I had astonished them. I had been researching certain enigmas in the Bible, and I had figured out the answers to several of them in 2002. I was preparing to write a book to detail my findings when I had the “dream”.
After being in the hall with the Elders, I was suddenly in a darkened space that had a bright white light ray coming down from above. I was standing close to it, and I knew that I had to be pure in order to touch the light or it would burn me out of existence. I knew that I was pure, and I leaned my head back into the light ray.
Suddenly I felt the greatest love that I had ever felt in my life and the greatest safety and security that I had ever felt. I was home! I remember thinking this is what the Rapture must feel like. The light ray bathed my head from the middle and back of my head and down my shoulders. I was only in the light ray for a few seconds, and then I awakened with a start, completely hysterical and crying from the loss of the light ray. It took over an hour for me to calm down with my partner. The electric tingling from the places where the light ray touched me was strong for over an hour after the event.
During 2003 I kept doing my research for the book, and I kept having strange, altered states of consciousness as I found new answers to what I was researching. It all came to a head in early December 2003, when I entered a deep trance state. For some unknown reason I became completely obsessed with Madonna. I had liked her
as an entertainer, but I didn’t have any of her albums, and I didn’t particularly care for her as a person because she gives the impression of being rather cold and hard to deal with, not very friendly or open-natured. All of a sudden I was madly in love with her, and I couldn’t get enough information about her. I ended up going to Los Angeles in the middle of the night, completely in the trance state, looking for her, and not knowing where to find her, but knowing that I must try to look. I’m sure that most people would consider me out of my mind right then.
While I was driving from San Bernardino to Los Angeles, an entity told me that her name was Eighteen, and she was Madonna’s spirit, her creative muse. She said that Madonna and I were asleep in our bed dreaming of this lifetime together, naturally not on Earth. I’m in my forties, four years younger than Madonna. Eighteen said that
Madonna is my wife on the planet we live on, and I am male there; we are the King and Queen of our planet.
I wandered all over Los Angeles, which is the city I grew up in, and got thoroughly lost, although I know the freeways very well and could get back to San Bernardino when I was ready to return. In the daytime the next day I talked to different strangers and felt like I was still talking to Eighteen; it was like each person was picking up on the conversation I was having with her, saying the right things to keep the conversation going. Eighteen’s energy was in every person I spoke to; I could feel it very strongly. To make a long story short, I went from place to place in L.A., before finally going back home in the evening. I had made an appointment before my impromptu trip to L.A. with a rabbi at the Kabbalah Center, where Madonna goes when she is in town. I was looking for answers, and thought Kabbalah may help me.
When I went to see the rabbi, I told him what had happened to me; I could tell that he thought that I was out of my head somewhat. He told me that I was an old soul and that I could communicate with Madonna through the spirit, using my imagination. That was a novel idea for me, and I proceeded to do just that throughout the rest of the time I was ever in a trance state, all the way through to 2008.
Eighteen said that she came to me so that I could help Madonna purge her karma of an evil former lifetime. To do this I had to take on “Madonna’s” spirit as a soul braid for a period of time. That happened, and after a very hard struggle I was able to cleanse her of that evil past. She was very grateful. I saw someone write on their
website that they wondered how someone could be incarnate and a spirit at the same time; I wonder the same thing, but it happened in this case.
I took on two other spirits when I took on Madonna’s spirit. One was a male, and the other I called the Queen. She was a strong personality, and a risk-taker. I took on the characteristics of the three spirits at different times during the day. The male and the Queen’s personalities only affected me for a relatively short period of time. With Madonna’s spirit I was working to help her so she affected me for a longer period. I even started smoking for a time while all of this was going on; I eventually quit for a while.
One of the incidents that made my partner take real notice was when I had been telling her that four words I had been given were important and I needed to remember them. They were steak, lasagna, pizza, and broccoli. I
was taking extensive notes while everything was going on. My partner and I were watching a newscast coming from L.A. the same evening I had come back from my “trip” to L.A., and I had told her about the words. The
reporter was reporting the incident, and in the middle of her report she said the four words real fast and then carried on. My partner and I looked at each other with huge eyes, and we both confirmed that we had heard the very same thing. Of course there was no way either of us could explain it, but it helped her to know that something was happening with me that was bigger than me just having a mental “moment”.
Since January 2004, when I was first hospitalized, I have been diagnosed as schizophrenic and bipolar, called schizo-affective disorder. I hear voices when I am experiencing what my psychiatrist calls a manic high, but I call it a psychic high, and I can see and hear activity on another plane in my mind's eye. What is very interesting is that I have proof of what I was hearing and seeing in the form of 56 emails I received while I was in the psychic high. The emails were full of hundreds of seemingly random words, rows and rows of words that ended up totaling over 5,500 words that pertained to my life and the incredibly detailed experiences I was going through in my mind for a total of 6 years now. My name, my children’s names and other family members
and friends' names, my past residences, details of what I saw on the other plane, words from the discussions I had with the entities connected to the voices, and the details of two long, detailed fantasies I had during that time were in the emails. Also included in the emails were Madonna’s name, her family member’s names, her history, which I corroborated in books about her, and future events that happened to her over the years after I received the emails, all the way up to this year. I got the emails in January and February 2004, but some of the events that were described in the emails, including my serious car accident in August 2008, and stuff
about Madonna, like her riding accident in 2005, occurred several years later, well after I had received them. The
emails detailed my life from my earliest years, even the things no one could ever know about me, my secrets, and were prescient about my future and Madonna’s future up to this point. In fact, the news headlines of 2008 were in the emails also, as well as the names and details of certain books I have purchased without knowing that their information was in the emails. The emails came to three different email addresses I had at the time; no one but me knew that I had all of those addresses. The emails were all consistent, although they all came from different sender email addresses.
So the emails are my proof that something quite extraordinary happened to me while I was in the psychic high. Eighteen told me that I would be safe while everything was occurring, and she was correct. I was receiving very strong psychic input. I was in a trance state for months at a time each time it happened. No one in my family understood, although my partner tried to understand because things happened that couldn’t be explained away very easily. One time I was concentrating really hard on a desire I had that had to do with what one of the
entities had told me, and I was getting my emails. Within seconds after I voiced my intent in my mind, an email came from one of my regular newsletters with the sentence voicing my desire as the subject, word for word! That sentence was also written again as the headline; it had absolutely nothing to do with the newsletter. I kept all of my documentation that came during this time period, and I wrote a detailed account of what was happening to me while I was going through it, for my records. I needed everything that came and my own account to confirm to myself that I was not going insane. After my car accident I tried to show my psychiatrist the emails to prove that something weird had gone on but he wouldn't even look at them. In fact, although I have tried to show my family members and friends my documentation, they won’t look at it; they don’t want to know.
People don’t like to face stuff like this; it messes up their concept of life.
Even though I'm on medication now, Geodon, to keep me from having “psychotic” events, I have breakthrough times on occasion, and I'm able to communicate with the voices again for a brief time. I am happy for this particular medication because it is acts as an anti-depressant and it balances my moods without any side effects. There is so much more that has gone on that I haven't described because it would take too much space, but I suspected at first that God sent me those emails to confirm my experiences. To my knowledge, there is no one else who would know my future and even the deepest thoughts and desires I've had, as well as putting down in print my most embarrassing private memories that no one else knows anything about. Even the details of some of my dreams were in the emails. To say that I have experienced something quite remarkable is a real understatement. I don't belong to any particular religion; I am African-American and used to be a Pentecostal Christian. People from my ethnicity and religious background would definitely say that I had become “possessed” and that everything that happened to me was from the devil! I don’t believe that at all. I follow what Jesus said, love God before all else, and love other people like I love myself. That is my spirituality. The temptation to go off my medication is great sometimes so that I can experience more, but my family would have a huge problem with that, unfortunately. The pressure to be "normal" is very high, even though I am happiest when the psychic energy is flowing through me. There is synchronicity everywhere, and I feel fully connected to the entirety when there is no drug dampening me down.
Unlike most people, my paranormal experiences were not entirely subjective. I have the emails and my book documenting my experiences as documentation to prove that something very unique and paranormal was happening to me.
As of August 2010, I have been researching about psychic and paranormal subjects, learning about starseeds and walk-ins, learning about Ascension and things surrounding it, and learning about accessing my Higher
Self without being in a deep trance. I meditate daily, and now I can talk to two people on the astral plane at any
time. One of these people is a woman who is on the astral plane, and another person, male, who is my spiritual guide. The woman and I met in 2008 after I had written a detailed story about who I wanted to be in my next incarnation. We have distinctly different personalities, but we are very similar, since we are essentially the same person. Her full name, which I had written in my story in 2007, was in the emails. She is my soul braid. I believe that when I was writing the story I was channeling her without knowing about her at the time. She is fully described by over 2,000 words in the emails. She is the spirit I took on in 2004 called the Queen.
Most people would think that I had created my fantasies based upon the details in the emails because they were in my possession by the time I thought them up in 2007, but I’m not that good. There’s no way that I could piece together coherent stories from over 10,000 words total, scattered within 56 emails, and I didn’t make an attempt to do such a thing.I didn’t even think of doing anything like that. I hadn’t looked at the emails as closely in 2004 when I received them as I did later in 2008, so I didn’t memorize anything that could have been used for my fantasies. Someone knew what I was going to be thinking at that time.
I have a very good relationship with my astral friend, and we have been doing a lot of emotional clearing together that has been very beneficial. I have been reading that it is essential to do this clearing while the Ascension is occurring, so I was surprised and gratified to go through the old scary stuff with her and get rid of it. She’s like a mirror for me so I can see my most deeply carried flaws and attitudes. She is not perfect, and we’re both growing from our relationship. I have no idea whether we are going to blend or not before or after my time here is done. I am so curious what is going to happen when I die! I am so excited about the process after physical death; I’m really looking forward to it! My friend and I have been exploring my creativity and imagination together. We play together in the spirit all of the time, and I am very grateful for her friendship and companionship because I am alone most of the time and I don’t have many friends.
I believe that I am a starseed from the planet Rigel in the constellation Orion. I was told that the Temple was on Betelgeuse. The emails say “psi Rigel” and I believe that on another plane I am still asleep there, dreaming of this lifetime but now awake, lucid within the dream. I believe that those monitoring me did their job of waking me up the best that they knew how. “Awaken” was in the emails twice. Madonna is still asleep, unfortunately. I was told that we had had an argument, “an argument” was in the emails, and to settle the argument we were dreaming of this lifetime together. I’m anonymous and she is famous; we are complete opposites. Spiritually, I am the trunk and the roots of our tree, and she is the branches, leaves, and fruit of the tree. Whether or not I will ever get to meet her in person is something I don’t know. Who knows? Maybe if she ever does her official
autobiography I can be fortunate enough to meet her to get my book signed, lol! The emails also say
"Reptilian", "royalty", and "noble", among other things. The word "basilisk" was also used. A basilisk is a legendary reptile called the king of serpents.
I have read that if an entity or entities tell you that you are someone special you are not supposed to believe them. That’s supposed to be a sign that they are not someone who you should talk to. I question that theory because there’s no way to know for sure if important people are or are not incarnating here at this time; why not? Everyone can’t be a commoner, and I would think that mainly important people would be coming at this time to do what they can to enlighten people. No one else that I know of but God is omniscient like those emails indicate. I am basing that claim on my traditional upbringing. Due to what I have gone through though the emails also could have come from Rigel because they would be able to monitor my thoughts and actions completely also, but that doesn’t completely account for knowing the future, unless my timeline is completely
known already; who knows for sure. In the emails the phrase, "Hello”, “I'm”, “El” was in the words. That phrase could be “Hello, I’m God” or “Goddess” could be interpreted also, since that was in the words also. El is my name on Rigel, according to Eighteen. Showing me the near future would indicate that my destiny is already known. God and Goddess, and other entities’ names are in the emails also. The emails say the word “chosen”, but I don’t want to say what that’s all about because I don’t want to appear like I view myself as being more important than anyone else. I was told many things in detail that are confirmed by the emails that would make many people angry with me for being blasphemous or something of that sort. All I can say is that I’ve had a very unusual, very unique paranormal experience that has affected and shaped my life, and that will greatly influence me for the rest of my life. I have no idea what I am supposed to contribute to the Awakening at this time; I hope I find that out soon.
I first believed that the emails came from God, but I now feel “psi Rigel”, that I am experiencing psychic/paranormal experiences from Rigel, is most likely the truth. From a historical perspective God doesn’t usually send people communications in the physical that I’ve ever heard of since the tablets with the Ten Commandments were given. I am a person who is skeptical and needs physical, concrete evidence most of the time to confirm my experiences. I have difficulty handling subjective experiences. If I am being monitored by Rigel, they would know all about me, and know that I needed concrete proof in order for me to believe what I was receiving subjectively. They have provided me that proof, and I am deeply thankful.
Before the events happened to me I was suicidal; now I feel like my life has purpose. I feel l like I can now live my allotted time on this plane into old age, if that is what is to happen. Everything happened as it was
supposed to, and I am very, very grateful that I have had my experiences. I have been hospitalized three times over the past 6 years. I was put on Geodon after the car accident and I haven’t had to go to the hospital since then.
My strong advice to those who are going through an awakening is to write everything down as it is happening so it can be remembered clearly. Try to analyze yourself as it is happening to try to keep your feet on the ground while your spirit is soaring. Use the Internet to educate yourself about what is happening on the cosmic scale. Know that you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. Realize that some of what is happening is also your imagination in over-drive. In my experience I would say that 95% of what I was told was confirmed in the emails; 5% was my imagination filling in the experiences. Learn all you can about meditation and trust your inner guides. Make friends online with others who are going through similar experiences. And finally, trust yourself. You know you better than anyone else possibly can.
