This forum is my entire life. I don't care about anything else except sharing knowlege on here and occasionally training my energy.
School? I'm failing.
Work? Never gonna happen.
Money? My supply will run out soon enough.
Yet I just don't care. I just don't give a damn about any of it. I don't even care about my own life anymore. I don't care about my future. I don't care about anything that doesn't involve sharing my knowledge and merging myself back together unless it's immediately life threatening. Can't help people if I'm dead now can I? I'm not sure how much more unbalanced a person can be before they're genuinely psychopathic.
Understandably many people think 'm destroying my life and think I should buck up and try to study or something. But I just...... can't. I DON'T CARE about school anymore. I don't care about any of it. I don't even know if I'm unbalanced or just trying to get on my correct path.
I'm lost and I'm confused and my life is spiraling out of control. But at the same time I'm oddly content with that. i could just grab the reins and steer myself back onto a path of academic or career success easily. i just don't want to. I have no desire to go on those paths, even if they are the ones most likely to keep me alive. I don't want any of it. That's why I don't know if I'm really unbalanced or just letting myself go with the flow. My near catatonic state says to keep doing this, so I am. Like this song that I felt described my situation this isn't giving up it's letting go. But is it really? I don't even know. But I'm going to keep going anyways.
Reiz, Leo Zodiac