There has to be SOMEONE out there who will read this and make sense out of it. Help me channel

NOTE: As I'm writing this there are 11 discussions currently active in this section...I've been searching for guidance for the past 20 years of my 24 years of life. Since birth my mother would point out the abundance of the number 11 in our lives. She was born on March 11, 1960 (311) got pregnant at 21, lost the baby very late term, and then got pregnant with me. I was born 3 weeks late - as if I was waiting for an ELEVEN to be born. Due towards the end of March, I was born on April 11, 1985 (411 - "information") 4 minutes shy of 11:00am. I was very sick and my mother went into a coma. My father named me Kelly Elizabeth. "K" is the *11*th letter of the alphabet, and my name numerology turns out to be none other than ELEVEN (11). After me they lost another baby, again, very late term - my mother never got her period and was told she was infertile as a teen. Hormone therapy didn't work EXCEPT for when she became pregnant with us. After the 2nd lost baby she had my brother - and guess when he was born? Yup - on the ELEVENTH of September (September 11, 1989 = 911 "emergency). His numerology ALSO comes out to be ELEVEN. My mother soon got sick after his birth and eventually lost her mind (she has drug-resistant left temporal lobe epilepsy with a liver tumor which makes medicating her difficult. She soon developed severe depression-turned-bipolar disorder and after many, many suicide attempts they began performing electric shock treatments (ECT) on her and after that last hospitalization she came home with "the voices"; she became schizophrenic. The voices did 2 things: berrated her, and made her *count*. The number 11 followed her and by this point me as well. On forums I see 11 comments, 11:11 appears on the clock all the time, as well as 9:11 and 4:11. On 9/11/2001, the day of my brothers 13th birthday the WTC towers were struck, with my father working a block away in time square, Manhattan. He, however - is not an 11 - but rather born 9/21/60 - coincidentally the same birthday (9/21) as my mother-in-law. I met my life partner in highschool. We knew each other for 2 years but began speaking over the joint deaths of our grandmothers. He was born 8/8/85 at 8:18 AM. We began dating on the ELEVENTH of January at apx 11:00pm. (officially though he "asked" for exclusivity on the 12th, the following day). I had a very rough life, as did my mother - who it seems survived it all only to birth us, and then her illness catapulted her into an agoraphobic, near comatose state. As a child (before the age of 8) my brother and I would play in what we called "another plane" or "dimension" called "mirror land". We could "feel" the energies of these supposed beings as well as the "energy" of people around us. We soon learned that we were empaths as the emotional baggage of others (I taught highschool for a year and due to the overflow of energy radiating off of the kids I'd come home at 3pm and sleep until 5am the next day and begin all over - that is - until I became inexplicably NEAR DEATH-ill on the 2nd day of my honeymoon - which lead me to the path of spiritual research as I scrambled through every source possible for a title to the illness that was killing me and baffling 40+ doctors all over the tri-state NY area). All of us 11's - my mother, brother, and I (we have no other family living but my father, who is a 21) felt as if we didn't belong - either in this time (my mother said she was born in the wrong era), or on the wrong planet (as a child I felt a strong connection to Jupiter), or in a hell-plane/parrallel universe where our "powers" had been stolen from us. We went to Catholic school and watched Disney - so these ideas seem to have been intuitive. All three of us felt that we were telepathic (and to a degree we always have been - but not to the extent to which we can speak exclusively through mind control - which we all felt we had the ability to do but in this "mistaken" dimension in which we were born this "talent" could not be used), telekinetic (I felt that I could move things through the focus of my mind but that Id been "de-programmed" - my brother felt this as well, and we were both younger than 10 y/o when these feelings were at their strongest), and that we were on this planet for a very important service-to-others mission. We also felt a time limit. From elementary school and up through college I told my mother I saw my life ending during my 20's (I am 24). My brother has said similar - and both my mother and brother have attempted suicide trying to "cross over" into the CORRECT dimension/planet/era lo que sea. That's another thing. I was born deaf yet had the ability to understand most languages. As I grew older (and had a bunch of ear cannal reconstructions) I finally began to speak (my last surgery I was 13 and they didn't even *realize* I was deaf until I was 5) with NO SPEECH IMPEDIMENT whatsoever. The doctors called me "the miracle baby" - as I defied science time after time. I defied death in and out of utero (in-utero tests showed severe birth defects and twice my parents were advised to abort, but because my mother was "infertile" they decided to "love" me regardless) and spent the first two years of my life hospitalized for spinal deformities, stomach pre-maturity (though I was born late), lung and kidney deformations, and jaundice. My spine was curved into an "S" shape and I was in physical therapy until 16 in attempts to lessen the pain. I was declared dead before "resurrecting" at the time of birth - and was actually "no name Callahan" for 2 weeks in the NICU because my father refused to name another baby only to watch it die. I went from years 16 to 20 mas o menos healthy - but then my spine began re-twisting per vertebrae, tumors were found throughout my abdomen and *AGAIN* - as to defy science - would be undetectable the very next day through sonogram. On the ELEVENTH of October, 2008 and while on birth control (mid-cycle) I began a 40 day long period (AGAIN - defying science) and after that I never saw another period (its been 15 months since my last period). At this time I began LACTATING and the skin between my eyes FELL OFF leaving nothing but a bundle of nerves. For a year to follow the external skin to my "third eye" would decay from the inside out (they contribute this to a rare disease called "Behcet's Syndrome), and they found a tumor on my PITUITARY GLAND in my brain. All of this, as if haulting my spiritual growth and my discovery of who I truly am and what my mission really is before "time runs out", as I predicted during most of my childhood that my time would stand still before I turned 30.So sorry for the novel - but I saw, once again, an 11 when I stumbled upon a psychic web site that is giving away free "angel feathers" that she discovered on my birthday, April 11th. That is apx the 20th time I've seen an 11 today - and almost a dozen times 4/11 has popped up. Due to the hormone imbalance form the brain tumor I went from a size 0 to a size "large" - a 50 pound weight gain with a gaping whole between my eyes that heals and returns once a month for the past year. Doctors are baffled. I am a buddhist convert and a studying Ayurvedic practitioner. I also do chakra work with crystals every day at 4:00pm for at least an hour, trying to discover my mission and FINALLY communicate with the multi-dimensional beings I met in "Mirror Land" so long ago... and no one has any advice for me. No forum, no psychic, no You Tube channelers - no one seems to be able to help me...do you have any advice??? Any crystals that could help? And meditations - SOMETHING I haven't done?Thanks for taking the time out to read this ... every word of it is true ... and there's even MORE to the story I just can't type anymore without pain. Please help me channel. I feel there is someone desperately trying to reach me and I them - but we just can't get there. There has to be someone who can help me channel/scry - SOMETHING. I have survived so much in my life - from physical and psychological abuse to the death of almost everyone close to me before turning 14, to the difficult life I had pre 5 and all the physical ailments - all the times I should have died - I thought at my wedding it was FINALLY over - that "God" had put me through literally what I considered the "REAL" hell in order to deserve the rewards to follow - but then - just 2 days into my HONEYMOON my world falls apart and this time the pieces are just too small and there are just too many to put back together without divine intervention... I didn't go through all of this just to rot away like this at 24 years old. I survived SO MUCH sadness and death and illness and abuse and adversity! I did it all right! I SURVIVED! I got straight A's in school WITH ADHD and a laundry list of learning dissabilities and all while caring for my criminally insane mother and protecting my baby brother I DID IT and survived all of the *KNOWING* that I had a supreme purpose and that it would all end well. I had my BA and a national certification in secondary education, adolescent psychology, and Spanish by age 20 and by 21 I was a highschool teacher with what should have been a glorious future ahead of me... there has to be a reason... this HAS to be preparation for something...something BIG - and I need to know what it is now... it's been 24 very long and hard years ... I can't take another 20... I won't... It can't all be for nothing... and if it is, then all of this divination and god talk is meaningless because what god would torture an already tortured soul for NO REASON and with NO BENEFIT unless I was some sort of MASOCHIST in a past life. Please help me communicate with my counterparts. Tip me on what crystals to use (I have 100s from raw to tumbled - I use channeling quartz, star sapphire (tumbled), phantom quartz, and raw amethyst points or chevron amethyst on my third eye most commonly, lapis lazuli, lepidolite, azurite, raw or tumbled aquamarine, or blue calcite on my throat chakra (usually), rose quartz (which is my stone of choice - I have apx 10 raw chunks, 3 wands, 3 tumbled hearts, 3 tumbled stones, and a tiny, rare elestial) on the heart chakra, along with 5 green aventurine around the chunk of rose quartz if I'm gridding, or 5 inward quartz points. If I;m not gridding my heart I also use rhodochrosite, rhodonite as my normal heart chakra stones. On my solar plexus I use tigers' eye, authentic amber, a chunk of citrine with terminations coming off of it, yellow jasper, a combo stone of malachite and chrysocolla sometimes (and I use another on my third eye when doing this for integration) and sometimes copper. On my sacral chakra I use carnelian always plus orange jasper amd sometimes I'll add copper here instead of on the solar plexus. On my root I use galena to integrate other-worldly beings with my core because I always use a large chunk of smoky quartz at the root as well. I also use ruby there and garnet, almongst other dark stones like black tourmaline, jet, and onyx. Lastly, on my feet - well, under my feet - I point a large smoky quartz generator pointed upward toward my body under each foot for further grounding. I often connect each chakra point with double terminated quartz points.I sleep with my stones in hand and under the pillow. I have a crystal grid set out with 11 quartz points set outward with the center grid containing a matrix of apx 50 tiny amethyst points, a chunk of rose quartz and aqua marine, a citrine chunk with "babies" as well as a smoky quarts generator with a baby; a clear quarts twin cluster and a moonstone merkaba at it's core.I play a tibetan singing bowl with my intentions written on thin paper inside the bowl in an attempt to set the vibrations of my intentions through the earths core and frequency grid. I also light incense daily and have a wide array of essential oils and loose herbs (I combine ayurveda with tibetan buddhism and new age therapies). I also wear a DT rose quartz pendant on my neck coupled with a DT amethyst on a silver chain. ANY advice is welcome.Thank youKCR of the 11's

Im sorry this will be so long in most cases I haven’t thought I am someone to shed light on any subject but like yourself I have been through some of the things you’ve been through. Firstly you must not you must not look at what you have gone through as needed signs or feats of strength. These situations are all YOU needed to believe in yourself. You are aware yet not practicing, this is the hardest road block, for ones like us we must prove to ourselves that we are worthy to be who we are, unfortunately your path to that truth has been hard pressed. In my own pain I came across so many trials and tribulations never understanding that I stood in the way of myself. Now when you run down all the tragedies as some would say you see clarity all these things you have endured perhaps you think others would fail at the task but not you. You know that you have a purpose but cannot allow yourself to hear it, you see your markers of awareness, but don’t allow yourself to see, this is the catch 22. Its there all around but you can’t put your finger on it or touch it. You feel time is running down and you don’t now if you’ll catch it in time. Like the old sayings go when you can’t beat um join em when you can’t catch stop chasing when you cant walk stop running. You have already channeled and not been aware to the simplicity of how it comes about you are hardwired to believe that things are not found in simplicity so the suffering continues just embrace what you believe if you think your going to die early “embrace it,” if you think the number reps something, “it does” if you think you have a mission “you do.” If it does bring you any solice, I want you to know your speech gave me a piece to my puzzle. Like I said it all comes in simplicity. Now the two thoughts I could have about this are, was your story put up on this site so that I could come across it to find a piece of MY puzzle? OR was I meant to write to you to come to your aid? Both realities exist for these two different scenarios. In your writing this you have aided me in my awareness. I hope you start to understand that, that in itself is part of your mission in just being who YOU ARE, and writing this and looking for guidance expels who YOU ARE and in turn you are already unknowingly on your mission. One domino hits another. I don’t know if this resonates with you. For myself I know it took me a long time of self-doubt and trials of hitting my head against brick walls metaphorically speaking to see this. If I just stop putting the road blocks in my way and trying to diagnose everything I may have caught on to it a lot sooner I kept expecting some huge transformation. It took me along time to see that I was already transforming. Never seeing the transformation that I was already on. It clicked in for me and I felt retarded that I took so long to see. I know this may be cliché and you don’t want to hear it but it your life path of trials are set out because it is what YOU needed for you to see. Unfortunately past this I cannot share anything because I don’t live your life I haven’t been through what you’ve been through. You could put crystals on you, talk to psychics, read books, have near death experiences or crazy situations happen, deaths, births, illness’, health, poor, rich, alone, together until your light bulb goes off and it will. The whole master plan thing will align for YOU and only YOU then it will all make sense. Channeling will be a breeze because you will realize you've been doing it all along unaware of it, and the rest will fall in place in time. Its killing me to sound like the douche bags I once couldn’t comprehend but it is true, it is in you the answers are there you are all you need divine is in you cuz when I was at your point I was so sick of hearing what methods worked for other people and crying out to the unknown. But honestly when your light bulb moment comes you will be like: all along, holy, wow thinking how easy it was its just that it sucks that it takes so much shit to catch on but it has to be that way for some it is so you get to your light bulb moment and when those moments come it all aligns and all the strife fades away. Why it fades away is that no one can stay mad at themselves for too long and neither will you. I dont know if Ive helped you but you have certainly helped me.

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misfit April 19, 2011 at 4:23pm

Im sorry this will be so long in most cases I haven’t thought I am someone to shed light on any subject but like yourself I have been through some of the things you’ve been through. Firstly you must not you must not look at what you have gone through as needed signs or feats of strength. These situations are all YOU needed to believe in yourself. You are aware yet not practicing, this is the hardest road block, for ones like us we must prove to ourselves that we are worthy to be who we are, unfortunately your path to that truth has been hard pressed. In my own pain I came across so many trials and tribulations never understanding that I stood in the way of myself. Now when you run down all the tragedies as some would say you see clarity all these things you have endured perhaps you think others would fail at the task but not you. You know that you have a purpose but cannot allow yourself to hear it, you see your markers of awareness, but don’t allow yourself to see, this is the catch 22. Its there all around but you can’t put your finger on it or touch it. You feel time is running down and you don’t now if you’ll catch it in time. Like the old sayings go when you can’t beat um join em when you can’t catch stop chasing when you cant walk stop running. You have already channeled and not been aware to the simplicity of how it comes about you are hardwired to believe that things are not found in simplicity so the suffering continues just embrace what you believe if you think your going to die early “embrace it,” if you think the number reps something, “it does” if you think you have a mission “you do.” If it does bring you any solice, I want you to know your speech gave me a piece to my puzzle. Like I said it all comes in simplicity. Now the two thoughts I could have about this are, was your story put up on this site so that I could come across it to find a piece of MY puzzle? OR was I meant to write to you to come to your aid? Both realities exist for these two different scenarios. In your writing this you have aided me in my awareness. I hope you start to understand that, that in itself is part of your mission in just being who YOU ARE, and writing this and looking for guidance expels who YOU ARE and in turn you are already unknowingly on your mission. One domino hits another. I don’t know if this resonates with you. For myself I know it took me a long time of self-doubt and trials of hitting my head against brick walls metaphorically speaking to see this. If I just stop putting the road blocks in my way and trying to diagnose everything I may have caught on to it a lot sooner I kept expecting some huge transformation. It took me along time to see that I was already transforming. Never seeing the transformation that I was already on. It clicked in for me and I felt retarded that I took so long to see. I know this may be cliché and you don’t want to hear it but it your life path of trials are set out because it is what YOU needed for you to see. Unfortunately past this I cannot share anything because I don’t live your life I haven’t been through what you’ve been through. You could put crystals on you, talk to psychics, read books, have near death experiences or crazy situations happen, deaths, births, illness’, health, poor, rich, alone, together until your light bulb goes off and it will. The whole master plan thing will align for YOU and only YOU then it will all make sense. Channeling will be a breeze because you will realize you've been doing it all along unaware of it, and the rest will fall in place in time. Its killing me to sound like the douche bags I once couldn’t comprehend but it is true, it is in you the answers are there you are all you need divine is in you cuz when I was at your point I was so sick of hearing what methods worked for other people and crying out to the unknown. But honestly when your light bulb moment comes you will be like: all along, holy, wow thinking how easy it was its just that it sucks that it takes so much shit to catch on but it has to be that way for some it is so you get to your light bulb moment and when those moments come it all aligns and all the strife fades away. Why it fades away is that no one can stay mad at themselves for too long and neither will you. I dont know if Ive helped you but you have certainly helped me.
RajeshY July 7, 2010 at 10:47am

Hi,

I am not sure of this but as per what I think is that the number 11 is representing Moon So I request you to please put on a pearl on your right hand little finger in Silver... Put the ring in salt water for at-least 24 hours before wearing....

And I will like to discuss this further but not in open for I think somethings to elaborate it is necessary of the other persons privacy... If you don't feel offended and would like to discuss this things you can send me email to codycod2010@yahoo.com.. Please only if you feel right...

With Love, Light & Divinity to all................................
sashaj January 21, 2010 at 10:30am

Hello Kelly. I'm so sorry to hear of your life's difficulties- I'm a firm believer that what we go through has it's divine purpose. There is so much going on in the higher realms that we cannot "see". We are never alone, and always watched over. I met an amazing group of people who changed my life about a year ago. Like you, I was raised catholic. I have learned so much and grown so much spiritualy this past year that it a lifetime of attending mass would not even come close. One of the things I've learned through my new friends is "The Akashic Records". If you don't know what it is please google it. It's basically dimension of conciousness that contains every souls deeds, thoughts, and journey. You can learn to go there yourself and "read" your own book and get all the answers you've been looking for. Or you could have someone whom is trained in The Akashic Records to do it for you. I can recommend a few people whom I know personally who can help you. I can give you some more info- I requested you as a friend. I had an activation done about a year ago which helped me incredibly- it is like having your kundalini awakened for you (there's much more to it than that). I will give you all the info if you like. I think this will really help you in your journey. It has helped me "lift the veil" so to speak. I'm much more sensitive to the higher realms and have much clearer communication with my higher self. I agree with Michael's advise by the way. It seems you are already sensitive to the other realms, so I'd just concentrate in communicating with your higher self- it will never lie to you. Good luck with everything Kelly! I hope this helps.
Thomas Simpson December 1, 2009 at 3:22am

Hi Kelly, Im not "officially" a lightworker but I consider myself transitioning. It seems like you have more to deal with on a regular basis then most people and that at least I can relate to. The reference to the number 11 in sequence of three represents some sort of gateway, and your story has alot of coiencedence to the singular reference 11 (dates time ect). I myself can relate to the whole suffering thing as I am 26, went through horrible struggles and the most disturbing part of your message is the thinking of "if theres is a god out there he'll heal me up" Just from a neutral perspective at this point I believe God Created humans, and we create the lives we live (Under A CLose Eye). I think we can both agree when the subject of cause and effect arise related to instances in both our lives and distingiush what suffering we bring upon ourselves and what suffering is brought upon us. "We have the power to destroy, but also to create". One of the most important things to keep my mind clear today, is keeping yesterday in the past, keeping me in the here and now allowing focus. (while it is important to yearn for signs/stigma in your environment attuning your connection with your higher power) SO if I havn't lost you yet.. You must be a powerful individual, overcoming obstacles, obtaining credentials, "tuning" yourself with the earth, all of these wonders were achieved by you under the eyes of god. I have the EXACT SAME feeling when I look down the road and forsee this suffering, faith steps in and simply states your here to LIVE! I know I have multiple choices on a daily basis and some of them are not the right ones so I adopted the "Divine Conciousness" these crystals you are using are theroetically using the same mode of thought. (I use Amythyst and Rose Quartz for clarity) From my perpective as well all of my struggles and such have not but strengthened who I am as an Individual and with whom I can relate to as well actually creating more oppourtunity, as opposed to destroying it by losing strength. Imagine If you change the words in your writing such as "Torment" with something more along the lines of "Exersise" you would have a beautiful strong individual who has learned in one lifetime what many never do for eternity. (and ps another "sense" would be to be wary of the source of your energies or crystals, they can become negativly charged, as all aspects of the earth realm. Seek Purity, Love and Happiness and most of all know who you are (soul wise) Take care and I hope Something helps with your deliverance. Peace and Harmony ( Tom )
Michael Viola November 28, 2009 at 10:55pm

well its very clear that you are a writer... experience and inspire... one thing jumped out at me "On my root I use galena (galena is great) to integrate other-worldly beings with my core (scary)." I think this is something i never want to do.. unless its my higher self... in my experience being here is about sovereignty and being able to declare that. Especially if you're an empath, you are that much more attractive to these otherworldly beings which more than likely are not benevolent. In my case, I had to proclaim ownership of my mind and body and own my energetic space. Crystals? Go for what attracts you in the moment, it will be what you need. I've been listening to tibetan chanting lately and I find that it immediately shifts my mood and awareness, you may enjoy it.. Good luck. and I think you should keep writing.
- Kelly Rossi > Michael Viola December 1, 2009 at 4:47pm
  
  I do a 30 minute chakra meditation to a guided track everyday at 4 before my meditations. I am pretty good and careful - as in I make a "declaration" that all spirits working with the light, are of the Christ consciousness, and are working for the good of the collective human spirit are invited to work with me. All others are expelled. Then I light sandalwood inscence and always keep smoky quartz at my feet for further grounding. I also do chanting (I have mantras tattoo'd on me) and I have a tibetan singing bowl as well

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There has to be SOMEONE out there who will read this and make sense out of it. Help me channel

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