Dealing with negativity - to the extreme

I could really use some advice on this matter, I just don't know the proper way to deal with this situation lol.

 

I've read and know all about "love is the key" however, sometimes acting out of love and compassion, you need to be tough, not only to protect yourself but to help the person see what they're doing. If they don't respond to compassion, sometimes they're better off having to deal with detatchment [emtionally and physically] to better understand the result of their actions.

 

I am very much convinced that the situation i'm in is a karmic experience. I've been kicked out of home twice as a result of my actions, I was playing the victim, manipulative and didn't want to face the music. Instead of being independant I latched onto people and asked for sympathy as much I could. I was very depressed and very much intensely listening to the negative voices inside my head "No one wants you" "No one cares" ect to the point of almost taking my life. Thankfully that never happened and there's no way I possibly could have done that, something wouldn't let me.

 

My parents, not wanting to put up with me any longer kicked me out and so began the long journey of essentially learning to "grow a pair" and be alot tougher and independant, essentially "coming into the light" as I unwittingly called it at the time. Now I completely understand why they did that and no longer hold a grudge, i'm a much better person because of it. However, my karma isn't done yet.

 

Due to family differences, I was kicked out earlier this year and ive landed up in a place i'm renting with two other housemates from the refuge I was at. One's a 40+ year old lady and the other, a 19 year old with a mental disability. However, the 19 year old girl is just like I was before I began my journey, only alot worse. She absolutely refuses to learn, she's very rude and very demmanding of attention. She will throw very large tantrums if she realises she cannot manipulate me or my other housemate into doing things for her.

 

(I was just like she was so I see straight through her actions). She demmanded I teach her to cook since I refused to no longer share groceries with her after realising she was more or less using me for that and wouldn't do her share of the cooking. However, i've got my own dramas and problems and I simply don't have the time to look after her. (Not that it's my responsibility to do so). I find her too rude to talk to, even.

 

I've completely detached myself from her in any way so she can no longer manipulate me. However I want to deal with this karma the right way. I need to protect myself however if I act compassionately towards her she takes advantage of that and plays out the sympathy card. Her disability is that she is a slow leaner of lower than average IQ- however being rude, throwing tantrums, giving people grief and manipulation is not a disability, it is a choice.

 

She's got no where else to go and the refuge that put her here simply says "She's got less opportunities than you" so they're not going to kick her out or find somewhere else for her to go even if she is acting out of line. I'm at a loss at how to deal with this without resorting to responding to her screaming/ rude name matches. She will not listen to criticsm since she registers it as attacking, then she switches to her victim mentality again and accuses me of abusing her.

 

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Replies

  • Hi,
    I read your story,
    What you went through - helped you to grow and understand....yes, now you can choose what you want to do - you feel in your heart what you want to do - there are many things you can look at
    - you can distant from her completely to allow yourself to grow and don`t be surrounded by her negative energy, or if you strong enough that you get to the point that you take her how she is and it would not create any negative emotions in you = you`ll be by another words completely balanced and in love and peace = which requires you to work on yourself even more - or you can even choose to help her - keeping in mind that she needs different approach due to her condition - which might be difficult for you to do if you do not find the right way - what resonates with her to the point that she will want to change - it might take long time and if she is on medication - this can also cause side effects - which are connected to medication - not to her - so there are many ways you can go - you only have to decide for yourself and be balanced - and have POSITIVE thinking - remember LOVE is the key - that you know - yet you found it difficult to deal with her perhaps - with yourself - it is your journey of growth and ascension - you have to start with yourself in order to help others
    love
    Sim
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