oh..dear brother Ranthom…it has been years since we ‘be=friended’..me..i have grown old..weary..tired of trying to do anything..as all my prayer/meditation/inner revelations..feeling seeing experiencing unimaginable proof of angelic merciful ‘beings’ shining sending much unplanned..unexpected light with absolute clarity..and i begin w/all my beingness..such as it is..to begin anew.. maybe it is my ignorance..altho’ have looked to most ancient yogic wisdom..breathe deeply surrendering too.. yet still i am lost..alone..i can only be who..what I AM.. i have no family left..my 1st born was beyond amazing … a truly golden child God gifted me with, while i was still a child.. had no one to turn to..left ‘home’ when my mother/dad held me down..trying to kill me w/a butcher knife..alas just another story..had to run..out to wilderness..where to go..NYC..homeless w/a little job..took temporary refuge by kindness of Chan..then mother..of Charlie Parker..he was rarely home..a hopeless addict somehow escaping the horrific racism being a black child on wrong side of KC, Misery(missouri)..Chan knew his genius..bore his children..i’m sure you know somewhat of his life.. she was brilliant cultured & devoted to him.. i helped her w/the babies..when he was there..he was a simple man..gentle as a flower.. she tried to ‘civilize’ him..wear neatly tailored clothes..he didn’t care about how he dressed..no.. wore his flannel plaid shirts..jeans..cowboy boots..like me..who he called ‘little’ sister..wanted to be accepted as he felt most comfortable.. at home he was sober, grateful to be w/his babies..his ‘wife’..i could go on … it is enuf said.. we were ‘free’ spirits..hurting no one.. i had no choice..only one who wanted me.. has destroyed my life..he had some talent..but no self-esteem..a severely distorted ego consuming drugs/alcohol & obsessed w/becoming a ‘star’…i wish i could speak w/you once more..i am almost 80..isolated abandoned..worn down.. my first born took his life recently..too far away for me to comfort..he’d call..”I need you Mommy” i could not leave my son..he was born a ‘bastard’..i could have aborted.. made vow to birth him alone w/no help.. he married young..another long tale..his wife took everything he worked for..his children..bankrupted left hoping he would die..once again he came to only one he had..again his mother, me, saved his life..sacrificing? everything i alone had worked for.. if you see fit..please call me..i am at the end..no one cares..even if a ‘dream’ this world is seemingly doomed..i am not able to do as my first born..take my own life..suicide bitter choice..road to worse hell..but i have no energy left to live.. i must care..no matter how hard..to not abandon my only one left..he lies in bed 24/7..taking morphine & drugs..legally rx’d by his doctor..who offers no other healing..it is only about being paid $ .. that is all medicare which he worked hard for offers.. i know Ranthom..it could be worse..it is for most in this world.. i am grateful..go ‘inside’.. invite my guardian angels (if they do exist) to guide me.. can see..feel each new day beatific light streaming directly toward me.. and those i trust to share it with.. have syphoned off all my gift..grace of pure sacred light.. till i have no more.. an old used-to-be..once had many gifts..talents..now i have nothing left..a broken heart..who wanted a tiny bit of love… i am not of nature to content alone.. it is who/what i am..can only be..& now humiliated..scoffed at..crucified… i am not strong like you..yet somehow kept surviving w/help from no one..maybe from ‘angels’..i can feel their plresence..unless i am insane..or delusional..I BELIEVE IN BEAUTY..LIGHT & LOVE..more than ‘believe’ I KNOW..EXPERIENCE.. I have Urantia book..others who KNOW the WAY the soul can absolutely evolve.. but i am not strong enough..although I work..study carefully/focused on the Light..THE WAY..alas trapped.. could go off enjoy little life=f
WELCOME TO MY CONSCIOUSNESS & thanking you for ALLOWING ME IN YOUR'S >>>I also thank you for giving me the gift of UR friendship...LOVE, LIGHT, BLISS BLESSINGS, TRANSCENDENCE, HEALING, PEACE, AND GRACE LOVE~ONENESS~BLISS!!
Hi, Rathom thanks for befriending. Although I'm not star being but I'm an Earth Angel, ano ld soul a wise one according to Doreen virtue books. I'm actually a high priestess. It's nice to see other types of beings on here. I actually follow Sudevi(Nithyasudevi) on her youtube channel and facebook, she's a star being, an acturian. What planet are you from?
Hi Ranthom, just saw your hello from February. Hello back. How goes it? I just saw your love of the Unrantia Book. I've read it 3 or 4 times, once with a magnifying glasss when my glasses broke. Now my favorite is The Way of Mastery. Have you read that?
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