About January of 2009 I began babysitting two children of my aunts friend. At the time Anya the girl was five years old and Austin the boy was three. When it began I was not really good at taking care of two children because I did not have the experience. Several terrible things went on based a pond my bad mistakes. I took them for walks when I was not supposed too and what not. But there were good times two. Eventually after several months both kids got used to me and started to love me. They both enjoyed seeing me everytime I would come over and I really grew close to Austin. I feed them, bathed them, and sometimes would put them to sleep at night. Months went by and I agreed to get Anya off them bus monday through Friday for the entire school year. Everytime there parents wanted to go out I was there. I would drop everything at the last moment to go right over. I actually had so much fun with there kids to were I felt like I had two little siblings. Things eventually started to change to where I was slowly getting closer to not seeing them as much. This is all because of my life plan. Eventually the last day I was there came. The morning went well but around lunch time I had a big argument with there mother because I accidently wasted a yogurt. I them made the mistake off leaving and never coming back even though she paid me 25 dollars for a day. So for three months she was angry at me. I tried saying sorry some many times but she refused to except it. I would tell her how much I missed both kids and did not think its was fair for my Aunt to see them but I do. not I got pretty angry and wrote her some pretty mean things. I did this because I felt like I was loosing something very important to me and just lost it. My family is accusing me of being a pedophile because I am really miss them and want to see them.

There mother actually said I could see them at church but because of the fight I had I was only told them after the argument. Not one single word was said to me about that. Its hard for me to forget them because I am having trouble finding work and have so much time to think. My aunt is also there mothers friend so I feel like both kids are very close by. I also feel a little envious. I spent a year of my life with them and she barely sees them but my aunt right now sees them more then me. Does anyone agree with how i am acting? I agreed to stop being so aggressive over the entire thing but have also vowed too not give up.