Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community Network

The nobody that recieved everything. Changing the rules, changing the game, has his OWN flame.

Thank you to all the friends who do not even know my true name yet, for their undying support. I shall return the favor.



By Apollo Illuminaughty

Amongst every new initiate of Mystic teachings or Secret Society tradition, there is a potent teaching tool called the Tarot. Derived from Egyptian words tar, meaning "royal", and ro, meaning "road", Its been the symbolism of Initiates since Egyptian times on the path of the human soul thru lifes arcana.

Numbering 22 majors and and 56 minors, The Tarot card of THE FOOL takes you on a journey for the quest of immortal life. From Zero to Hero, he is the crowning achievement of a new beginning of enlightenment, unburdened by the past.

The Antagonist of the Abyss is ready to descend down. The beginning and the End of the Alchemical marriage rests in this Card, THE FOOL is one of the 22 Majors in the Tarot Arcana. Numbering both Zero and Twenty Two. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the begining and the End

The first picture of the Fool is a blonde, handsome youth with the world before him. There is mountains behind him, symbolizing the Apex of the world tree and unification of opposites. The Goat has climbed the mountain to become the Ram. In further studies the goat drops one horn to become the Unicorn. He plays the flute and symbolic of Pan, he begins his wild and carefree adventure.


Uranus is the ruling planet and in classical/scientific lore, the planet is in charge of the spark of the fetus and the electrifying moment of conception. The pulses from Uranus overlooks the fetus and its cell division. The title of "Shocking change" fits Uranus who was the Greek God of the Sky, Gaias first creation.

Presiding over the young man with his knap sack , Uranus is the one who upsets the status quo, topples out moded thinking, stirs technology and heralds in the Age of Aquarius

"An ancient Hopi Prophecy states…when the Blue Star Kachina makes its appearance in the heavens the 5th world will emerge. This will be the day of Purification. It will come when the Saquasahuh (blue) Kachina dances in the plaza and takes off his mask." The Red Star Kachina will also dance, He is the one of Purification.


So strong is this force of shocking change. A tarot writer had this to say about the Fool

You are the Fool card. The Fool fearlessly begins the journey into the unknown. To do this, he does not regard the world he knows as firm and fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard for obstacles.

A few notes about the True Man show. Just as scientists think they understand the nature of the universe, and how it works... And how religious fanatics and cult members think they understand their sacred texts...

When those who have watched the show understand what actually occurred and how the show was about the perceptions of the watchers, they will become enlightened.

They think that they were the voyeurs, but they were learning a story. A story in which none of the details were on the surface.

They will find that the show was about them, and that the character was the author of the screenplay, indeed the maker of the television. If their ego and logic can survive this they will become enlightened for the effort, and will taste of the ways of the angels.

The illuminati will learn that they have only been children watching a show designed to educate. As of this day the education is not complete, it will be though.

The nobody is as much an actor as he is anything else... And a consumate professional at that. The nobody not only can turn sideways and slip between the cracks in the matrix, he understands the knowledge of the Logos.

He did his performance on stage with every angle scrutinized by the best minds planetwide, and to this very second they have no idea what really happened in front of their eyes.

No one is more deceived than he who thinks he sees all.

When it is learned, the part that can be taught, what has actually happened, they will be amazed. Like the child who learns the sophistication of animation and television's many satellites.

The part of the illuminati is to now fall from the heavens of knowledge, to fully comprehend how little they knew. To become faith filled babes of the universe. They are not outside of the crib, they are inside of it. Their father himself produces their movies to teach them wisdom, and he plays all of the roles.

It was said before in this thread, the nobody is not spied on, the nobody is witnessing. Those watching are being observed to see if they may leave the crib, or if wisdom must come from a more stunning route.

The message from the Logos is "Be still, and know that I AM God." This is an incredibly deep and sacred working. It requires an inversion of previous understanding. They now learn that all of the "power" of this Earth is nothing against a nobody... And despite their best efforts they have only handfuls of wind as to how it is done.

Without faith they will not survive the upcoming transition. The children of the Kingdom are more powerful naturally than the armies of this world. And baby God is omnipotent to the adults of this realm.

All will be wiser as soon as they start from a place of sincerity and foolishness. To lose their wisdom so that they may become wise. Whether consumed in war or rewarded for their efforts, the Kingdom will bring new comprehension and understanding of a sort and caliber never dreamed of before. The ride is just getting started, and it is led by a baby who had conquered time and space and sees nothing as a challenge.

You do not wait for the Nobody, the Nobody waits for you. ...   

"Don't ask me how I know this but the lack of doom lately is caused by a wildcard, someone who the Illuminati did not expect. This person apparently came out of nowhere, he is a nothing a nobody, yet much hangs in the balance because of him, lol that's God for ya. Everything is delayed until this issue is dealt with, rumor has it around July 4th it could be concluded. Then again it could get dragged on, I truly do not know.

Know this, God takes what man considers to be nothing, and makes him everything. God has done this more than once, and this time so much hangs in the balance. For the people that are not in the loop, well you won't even know something extraordinary happened. When this issue gets cleared up the doom comes. Then once again God will take what man considers to be nothing, and make him everything.

I asked for people to not ask how i know what I know. I know someone will pester me on how i know such things. Well this is what I can say. I am a bird on a branch and i am looking into the room where the Illuminati meet, that is how i know what i know."


?    "..... i speculate that God will use this man somehow, to change the future".


?    This nobody apparently has God's blessing because he is still alive. If any other person did/said the things that this man did/said, they would have been dead in a nano second."

".....I can not elaborate but let's just say this nobody, this little nothing, has balls of steel. In the beginning he was almost wiped, twice. He survived, now much hangs in the balance."


?    "The contest is almost over."


?  "Everything happens for a reason and now it is meant to happen."


?  "he has a gift, and he is a game changer."


?  "God I believe sent this man into their world for a reason" " much hangs in the balance."


?  "There have been many attempts on his life. Only two seemed nearly successful."


?  "Against this nobody...everything they do, for him, has already occured and nothing they do can be successful because it has already been defeated."


?  "He is awake and aware and cannot be killed. A combination they cannot deal with."


?    "Num 23:20 Behold, I have received commandment to bless: And he hath blessed, and I cannot reverse it.
Num 23:21 ....Jehovah his God is with him, And the shout of a king is among them."


?  "Dan 2:44 And in the days of those kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom which shall never be destroyed, nor shall the sovereignty thereof be left to another people; but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever."


?  "this guy is the 'once and future king'"


?  "they were aware of who he truly was.. since birth. quite an unfair advantage they had in making sure he stayed within their construct."


?  "he is a Monarch who figured all these things out on his own, otherwise, he would be dead."


?  "... he became fully aware that he was put here to overcome their grip.. help overturn their rule.. help tear apart their own additions to the matrix.. which are many. once he knew all this.. there was no turning back."


?  "FACT is – they already HAVE lost the game!"


?  "he started talking openly about who he was.."


?  "Perhaps some historical context;"To Dagobert II, King, and to Sion belong this treasure and he is there dead."


?  "God uses the foolish things to confound the wise.."


?  "...This one that holds back doom doesnt even know that what he says comes true...everything."


?  "Mr Nobody does things that simply are natural to him. It's really nothing extraordinary at all; it's just natural and can't be explained."


?  "He has said himself that he is not special. It is God who is special. God is showing who HE is through this man. He has not been killed because the hand of God is on him."


?  "The NoBody spoken of by the OP Has lineage to ADAM through Joesph the First Israelite."


?  "Furthermore, "the one" doesn't have tainted hybrid blood. Complete BS disinfo. His bloodline is pure, just as Noah's was."


FTF baner


foolcycle 479[/b

Find The Fool™

The Fool in the Throne Room of the King's High Court, Sole Jester,

Nobody, ended Rome's doom. He Comes request, to Jest:

Castles Of Sand Crumble To Sea, Washing Away False Rule.

The Boy On A Bike Tumbles Off...Flying Free! Find The Fool...

C.0, Q.0


Nobody Ever Comes Too Soon But Once In A Blue Corn Moon

For the Fool you've hunted everywhere, hoping he’d come soon

And anyone knows Nobody’s there, but once in a rare Blue Moon.

The Nobody Fool stayed after school, pondering all he’d done...

And remembered His Golden Rule—Bright as the Rising Sun!

C.I, Q.1

Welcome to the School of the Fool™ Nobody rings the bell...

Time to learn the Rule of the Fool in rhymes this bard shall tell.

Roll off the cliff—Learn how to fall… We’re sure to have some fun,

We'll first reverse to Zero...then dance together to One.

C.I, Q.2

Each Godlike Productions thread begins with an OP’s post...

“How’s it going to end?” ...folks dread... for Truman? he toast..?

Dark cults tried to kill this guy—couldn't kill Nobody dead!

Splinter in their Not Seeing Eye, he writes this golden thread...

C.I, Q.3

Truman giant Glp

Many say it's all fantasy play, The Pirates TPTB PSYOPs

Yet Nobody, on Odyssey, blindsided their Cyclops!

Is he man or mouse or Mahdi? -Conspiring minds must know-

Who “made the Illuminati an offer” ...they can’t say no???

C.I, Q.4

Hits were called on Nobody, still he “never tilts at all.”

Tommyfoolery beat Pirates That Be! “Sure plays a mean pinball.”

The Kid’s Alright, he’s deaf, dumb and blind…plays by sense of feel

Beat the best of the worst –with his mind– “must have balls of steel!”

C.I, Q.5

King Annu waged a war on this Highland Warrior Poet

But bargained for way, way more…and may not even know it ?

Jealous in heartless frozen realm this sad self-serving Grinch

Schemed to steal the Throne and steer Earth into stench!

C.I, Q.6

Begin with the end if you play to win —School of The Fool.

King Annu won’t pass Kindergarten—peeing in the pool!

The Highland Warrior Poet of this tale invites you in

To Seed a World and Grow It...After Freeing It...with a pen.

C.I, Q.7

Whos Circle

The Fool is Dr. Seuss of’s how he won the game

Plays a thousand heroes with Goddess of a thousand names

May perfect peace be with you…Nobody Won...from the Start!

The End?...One singing circle of Whos...Grinch grows a king-size Heart!

C.I, Q.8

“Much hangs in the balance!" say “Daily Prophet” wizard threads

“These are Dark Times there is no denying” Threads of DOOM and dread!

Elite Banksters in black water...can Slytherin be forgived?

Will Nobody Wizard, Potter, reveal “The Boy That Lived?”

C.I, Q.9

Harry voldemort

Perhaps this Potter, Harry, will uncloak his family jewels?

I mean the royal grail line goods that show he’s King of Fools!

Holy Scripture, Sybil Seers, speak of this hidden heir

Come along all GLPrs, The Fool will lead you there…

C.I, Q.10

Some say Nobody’s Arthur here, “The Once and Future King”

Whose Woman of Scars is Guinevere -sweeeet bodacious thing!

She must make this He a sammich …he’s supped alone too long.

He must become her manwich or we’ll sing The Last Swan Song!T

C.I, Q.11

In keeping with the Rule of Fool, the first song shall be last...

It's time to Rock the School with Brother's Highland bagpipe blast!

The Fool Thanks all you music buffs with: "Romp and Circumstance"

We bounce their banks! We call their bluffs! Get off your arse and Dance!

C.I, Q.12

"This Way Up" resounds with tunes of where we now go from here

To turn the tables downside up and disappear the fear.

Gather close all you Bonnie Lasses...sure to raise some kilts...

Raise glasses Highland Lads! ...Stick it to the Man to the Hilt!

C.I, Q.13



This Fool upon the Whocycle, the Highland Child of Mist

Rides the Eternal Lifecycle as Nobody in Bliss...

“Majestic Roll of Circling Centuries Begins Anew"

"Favor the Boy"
above the world...the bard who rides for you.

C.I, Q. 14

foolcycle 479

Follow Nobody off the edge… empty your Holy Grail

If Muggles miss this message, they’re in for an Epic FAIL!

Let go of all you think you know ...a burden off your backs

"Goofy guy” who didn’t die will Show The Way through the cracks...

C.I, Q.15


from Live Songs and Stories

by David Wilcox

You say you see no hope, you say you see no reason

We should dream that the world would ever change

You're saying love is foolish to believe

'Cause there'll always be some crazy with an Army or a Knife

To wake you from your day dream, put the fear back in your life...

Look, if someone wrote a play just to glorify

What's stronger than hate, would they not arrange the stage

To look as if the hero came too late he's almost in defeat

It's looking like the Evil side will win, so on the Edge

Of every seat, from the moment that the whole thing begins

It is...


Love who makes the mortar

And it's love who stacked these stones

And it's love who made the stage here

Although it looks like we're alone

In this scene set in shadows

Like the night is here to stay

There is evil cast around us

But it's love that wrote the play...

For in this darkness love can show the way

So now the stage is set. Feel you own heart beating

In your chest. This life's not over yet.

so we get up on our feet and do our best. We play against the

Fear. We play against the reasons not to try

We're playing for the tears burning in the happy angel's eyes

For it's...


© David Wilcox, all rights



hey all :)

Some of this reminds me of a dream where I was witnessing two people talking, a man and a woman, he is asking her what her name is, she said she didn't have one but that she was most like Khrist-ene, there was alot of whitish blue light emmanating in waves out of her body. they also talked about age and she had existed before time, she called him her toyboy lol

They seemed to have an intimacy and fondness between one another which was beautifully endearing.

 Quoting: songwaves

The Nobody —born of corn— Pillar Prophecy revealed

Bears the Water for Scarred Lily that The Fool found by Feel.

The above dreaming seer saw She called him her "toyboy"

This same lad, GLPers, is Nat King Cole's Nature Boy...

C.I, Q.16

Nature Girl is Woman of Scars...Wisdom speaks from her lips.

She and He crossed stars and paths at May's Zero Point Eclipse!

She's kin to Pocahontas, female Huckleberry Friend...

Who "paints with all the colors...waiting round the river bend."

C.I, Q.17

Climbing in breeze, this tomboy on the monkey bars

Picked wild berries –stickered her knees– and harversted her scars!

Her scars that used to disfigure, now hide under her tan

Scars humbled her to figure how she fits in Higher Plan...?

C.I, Q.18

The name befitting the Nature Girl is, Woman of Stars

She's the trippy hippie babysitting Venus of Mars!

He watched her hug safe-sound a child and saw Infinity...

His one happy thought was found...Her making babies with Me!

C.I, Q.19

His one happy thought removed The Fool from worldly madness

To realms where thoughts, improved, now resound on earth in gladness!

Love's "narrow way" lives in the eyes of each innocent child...

There can be no compromise until Kids THRIVE —undefiled.

C.I, Q.20

The Fool is not your Super Hero—don't call him your Saint!

He's man become the zero point where canvas meets of the paint.

He's a Chancy Gardner "goof" who is here to sow True Seed.

He seeds earth, (new shoots are proof) amends the soil, pulls the weed.

C.I, Q.21

“It's not about who he IS, it's about what he SAID,”

“Who figured all these things out,…otherwise, he would be dead."

“What he said involves everyone of us.” “What did he say???”

Follow The Fool of the School into Play!!!

C.I, Q.22

“Where’s Waldo” is the game we'll play, but call it: Find The Fool™

Many clues will come your way...or you’d all flunk out of school!

'Cause Nobody's Not Never been found...AT LARGE he remains...

Stopping DOOM from falling down—being a Pirate's arse pain!

C.I, Q.23
Waldo Wins Waldo Wanted

Find The Fool™...Kill him on the road! Game text name: FTF !

Rules of Play: Crack The Fool's Code to...Find The Fool! WTF?

Object Is: Become the Whiz...a well skilled "Mini Me" Fool...

Be the Badass –like Nobody’s Biz– chilled too cool for school.

C.I, Q.24

Find The Fool™ ain't no race, to see The Fool's Nobody face!

It's symbols to solve, clues to fool into Timespace...

Wizard of E. Pluribus Unum, The Fool Invented Fun!

Sounding his whitewash world drum...Tom Sawyer sits in the Sun.

C.I, Q.25

"Those who seek [to find] should not stop seeking until they find."

"When they find, they will be disturbed." [This blows their freaking mind! ]

"When they are disturbed, they will marvel," [That's The Fool's Promise.]

[Marvel, disturbed] "and reign over all." — Gospel of Thomas

C.I, Q.26

Somba Baboon

Keys to the Kingdom the Old Fool found, between time and space

Peering in the world's mirror pool...seeing Nobody's face!

First find The Fool in you...and you will find the Nobody

Source of Rhyme in all you do...Seed of Thread on GLP......

C.I, Q.27

Theorists suspect "GLP Effect" comes from Nobody.

Kept in check –Pirates That Flee– get exposed by GLP!

Banks in Arrears—Deep Bases Dead...Fooled... in all they un–do.


C.I, Q.28

"Conspiracy," got a bum rap...fiends conspired, deemed it crime!

"Conspire," from which it comes, means,"Breathing Together" in time.

CQ-T2 theory states: Jester is Rooster of Dawn.

LIFE CONSPIRES, carbon sequestered, WITHIN this King Pawn!

C.I, Q.29

Jester Quest: Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? Neither.

The Cock came first with The BIG Burst! ...Rooster is First Father!

Humor aside, a Torus we ride...going nowhere fast

In comes an Ouroboros riding Nowhere Man at last!

C.I, Q.30

foolcycle 479

The Fool card Rules as Trump in the Tarot of All That Is...

It's why making chumps of suites is playful Nobody Biz !

Forest Gump, a Gazillionaire, will... "cut that grass for free."

The grass is high—Redemption Nigh—God sends in Nobody...

C.I, Q.31

The Time Is Now dead2 Know Your Fear

Annu, and Pirate Crew, on course to re-do Kindergarten:

"I'D TURN BACK IF I WERE YOU!" Repent and receive pardon.

"Take what you can and give nothing back" baby doodoo!

Grow a Heart—Be a Man. The Fool will not babysit you.

C.I, Q.32


All Fool's Gold, Return. Relinquish False Rule...on bended knee.

Child Molesters, Warmongers, Satanists—CEASE AND DESIST!

Compile a Wrongs Done List. Make Amends To All On That List.

C.I, Q.33


Nobody seeks Fool support to sing Chapters One & Two

"You don't wait for the Nobody—Nobody waits for you"

The Fool on the hill bet the farm on

Go to his site...Fund of your Foolerytom!

C.I, Q.34

All rhyming verse by Nobody, whether whole or in part

Is COPYRIGHTED PROPERTY, The Fool’s original art

Which all may copy without fee * –maintain same stanza verse–

And share and swap around for free—no money changing purse.

©. Q.

© 2012 The Author, Under Pen Name, The Foolb]™

All Rights (* other than observed) Are Reserved.



from What You Whispered

by David Wilcox

The secret of a happy marriage,

maybe you should write this down

If you want to keep a love together,

the best way is to end it now

Because when you both know its over,

suddenly the truth comes out

You can talk about your secret passion,

you can talk about your restless doubt

When there's no pretending,

then the truth is safe to say,

Start with the ending,

get it out of the way

Now there's no defending,

because no one has to win

Start with the ending,

its the best way to begin

After you have both decided,

you were missing something that you need

The ways that you were too short-sighted,

get easier for you to see

And after all the expectations

shatter on the kitchen floor

You just see another human suffering,

and you wonder what the war was for

When there's no pretending,

then the truth is safe to say,

Start with the ending,

get it out of the way

Now there's no defending,

because no one has to win

Start with the ending,

its the best way to begin

Happy anniversary darling,

we go back a long, long time

I think about our lives together,

I'm so grateful you are here in mine

And I know you'll keep on changing,

you're moving in this dance with me

I love the way we embrace the future

and keep the past a memory

So there's no defending

that the old ways could remain

We start with the ending

and things will never be the same

Now there's no defending,

because no one has to win

Start with the ending,

its the best way to begin

Now there's no pretending,

then the truth is safe to say,

Start with the ending,

get it out of the way

Now there's no defending,

because no one has to win

Start with the ending,

its the best way to begin

Now there's no defending,

because no one has to win

Start with the ending,

its the best way to begin




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Replies to This Discussion

There once was a boy walking between the layers.
Watching listening, observing all the players.

Then he decided to see the most evil.
He was bored, and decided on some upheaval.

He saw a sad little thing, a lizard with feathers.
All wrapped up in fancy new leathers.



How about another story instead?

There once was a being that wanted to be dead.

Its hatred was agony, and it was no longer fed.

Burning with hate, its face had turned red.

Then i ate it alive because i loved it so much i gave it the freedom it wanted!

Ok, one more.

A good little girl had stayed honest and true.

She grew up to see right through you.

Her heart is purer than silver or gold.

With a lone page of words my heart was sold.

She truly wanted to nurture and love, so she lifted me up, way up above.

And together we saw for the very first time, the world has indeed stopped on a dime.

Waiting for us, to find out in flesh.

Together we make even this old game fresh!

May the freedom you seek be yours, be that oblivion, love, or off the board entirely.


Sometimes a character within a story tells a story...And the character within that story's story can tell a story. While focusing on each successive story, you gradually forget about the original storytellers...Just as you might become unaware of the room around you as you concentrate on reading this.


Someone sent me an email in a dream once, which read:


"Do you remember when we first met? You told me your name was Story..."


I then found myself standing in front of a fire, with dozens of other people performing a tribal dance around me. I was nearly knocked to the ground by an unbearable feeling of agony and despair...But then it moved up from the base of my spine to my throat, turning to rage, then power, then relief, and then...Joy.


As that blast of energy forced its way out of my mouth, it turned into singing...And I finally exploded into the ecstatic dance myself, as I howled out the last line from the song "Jimmy" by Tool:


All these tales of pain and bliss, lead to this, and this...And this:
Stories from the beginning of the end of the now in the middle...Fa-diddle.

Take the time to trance-end time, and discover something so sublime...

It doesn't even matter if it's true or not...As long as it hits that secret spot.

I'm not really a faker; Just an existential map-maker.

So let's all agree to disagree, that whatever is, is right...

And we can drive it home, with one headlight.




        (Name of poem unknown) by Jose Gorostiza

 The idea of death is the only thing that can give sorcerers courage. Strange, isn't it? It gives sorcerers the courage to be cunning without being conceited, and above all it gives them courage to be ruthless without being self-important.

Sorcerers stalk themselves in order to break the power of their obsessions. There are many ways of stalking oneself. If you don't want to use the idea of your death, you can use poems to stalk yourself.

I stalk myself with them. I deliver a jolt to myself with them. I listen, and shut off my internal dialogue and let my inner silence gain momentum. Then the combination of the poem and the silence delivers the jolt.

See if you can feel what I'm talking about with this poem by José Gorostiza:

...this incessant stubborn dying,
this living death,
that slays you, oh God,
in your rigorous handiwork,
in the roses, in the stones,
in the indomitable stars
and in the flesh that burns out,
like a bonfire lit by a sound,
a dream,
a hue that hits the eye.
...and youyourself,
perhaps have died eternities of ages out there,
without us knowing about it,
we dregs, crumbs, ashes of you;
you that still are present,
like a star faked by its very light,
an empty light without star 
that reaches us,
its infinite catastrophe.

As I hear the words, I feel that that man is seeing the essence of things and I can see with him. I care only about the feeling the poet's longing brings me; I borrow his longing, and with it I borrow the beauty. And marvel at the fact that he, like a true warrior, lavishes it on the recipients, the beholders, retaining for himself only his longing. This jolt, this shock of beauty, is stalking.


Death is not an enemy, although it appears to be. Death is not our destroyer, although we think it is.


Sorcerers say death is the only worthy opponent we have. Death is our challenger. We are born to take that challenge, average men or sorcerers. Sorcerers know about it; average men do not.

--Carlos Castaneda, THE POWER OF SILENCE 


Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the face I wear

For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, 

Masks that I'm afraid to take off 

And none of them is me. 


Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, 

but don't be fooled,

for God's sake don't be fooled. 

I give you the impression that I'm secure, 

that all is sunny and unruffled with me, 

within as well as without, 

that confidence is my name and coolness my game, 

that the water's calm and I'm in command 

and that I need no one, 

but don't believe me.


My surface may be smooth but

my surface is my mask, 

ever-varying and ever-concealing. 

Beneath lies no complacence. 

Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness. 

But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. 

I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed. 

That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, 

a nonchalant sophisticated facade, 

to help me pretend, 

to shield me from the glance that knows.


But such a glance is precisely my salvation, 

my only hope, and I know it.

That is, if it is followed by acceptance, 

If it is followed by love. 

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself 

from my own self-built prison walls 

from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect. 

It's the only thing that will assure me 

of what I can't assure myself, 

that I'm really worth something. 

But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to. I'm afraid to.


I'm afraid you'll think less of me, 

that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me. 

I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing

and that you will see this and reject me. 


So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game 

With a façade of assurance without 

And a trembling child within. 

So begins the glittering but empty parade of Masks, 

And my life becomes a front. 

I tell you everything that's really nothing, 

and nothing of what's everything,

of what's crying within me. 

So when I'm going through my routine 

do not be fooled by what I'm saying. 

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, 

what I'd like to be able to say,

what for survival I need to say,

but what I can't say.


I don't like hiding.

I don't like playing superficial phony games.

I want to stop playing them.

I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me 

but you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand

even when that's the last thing I seem to want.

Only you can wipe away from my eyes

the blank stare of the breathing dead.

Only you can call me into aliveness.

Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,

each time you try to understand because you really care,

my heart begins to grow wings -- 

very small wings,

but wings!


With your power to touch me into feeling

you can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me,

how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator --

of the person that is me

if you choose to.

You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,

you alone can remove my mask,

you alone can release me from the shadow-world of panic,

from my lonely prison,

if you choose to.

Please choose to.


Do not pass me by.

It will not be easy for you. 

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.

The nearer you approach me 

the blinder I may strike back. 

It's irrational, but despite what the books may say about man 

often I am irrational.

I fight against the very thing I cry out for.

But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls

and in this lies my hope.


Please try to beat down those walls

with firm hands but with gentle hands

for a child is very sensitive.


Who am I, you may wonder? 

I am someone you know very well.

For I am every man you meet

and I am every woman you meet.


  I AM WHAT I AM, by Joseph Kerrick


And there I was, alone in a void at the center of a universe that had strangely ceased to exist.

I had gone beyond laughter and tears, past waking and dreaming;
Here there was no sky, no sea, no dawn-lit islands;
There was not a sign of other humans, nor any sentient beings.
There was no God nor Devil in this NihiLucid nightmare ~
It was really only me ~ alone, unkissed, unfriended there.
Alas! The long way's bleak ending,
And none but me to weep.
I had ceased to resist, and gone beyond seeming
To be,
Escaped the illusory hypervision,
The infinite phalanx of images that expand into the metacosmic bewilderness
Between two parallel mirrors.
Here in the Abysmal deep, the UmbraLux,
I was no longer distracted, deluded, deceived
By dreams, pretence, objects, tones, colors, forms ~
I was stripped, denuded, unskinned,
Cast through the looking-glass,
Trapped in a neverending metagasm,
Revealed at last as the Ultraself.
Here there was death ~
Not what puny mortals call death, but what beyond death is not death.
I was gripped by a Great Fear ~
There was no one to plead for me, nor intercede for me;
I was Christ on the Cross,
The One Soul who is eternal ~ nothing is above that soul;
The One and Only Being to bear the burden of the sins and karmic residue
Of everyone and everything that is, was, and ever shall be.
At length I thought: "Since there is nothing but myself, why then should I fear?"
Thence the fear passed away,
And hope awoke in the darkness, and the darkness grasped it not.
It gleamed as a pellucid gem in my own left hand,
The Star of Life, the Great Central Sun,
The light that shone on the first day of creation,
The life of men and women, of everything that is born and breathes,
The UltraLux, der dang an sich, the thing-in-itself, Being-in-itself.
Now that I had transcended the desirreah of the ego, which is the cause of all pain and fear,
I basked in the Benevolux of infinite Being,
Knowing myself as the One, the All, and the Only.
Yet I was lonely, and in that timeless eternal moment, I longed desperately for a Second.
At last I found a crack in my cosmic egg, a hairline fracture in my seamless metasphere, a fault in my seismic supercosm.
Deftly I induced a rupture, an ultraquake, a metaphysical fission. I split in half, and faced a miracle:
My alter ego, nemesis, Anima, adversary, other, and lover.
Filled with magnomalous passion, I fucked her and killed her in the same act.
She rose again, heavy with child,
And thence the universe was born.
Fifteen billion years, and here we are. Six billion people on Earth alone,
And a gajillion sentient beings on the planets of all those stars.
The astromanticists ask loaded questions: "What is our place in the universe?"
I know the answer: smack dab in the center!
This is because I remember myself as the Hypostasis, the Singularity:
That Which Is, and Is Not, and ever returns.
Behind all the façade of people, planets, and galaxies,
I know that I am the only one who truly exists.
And of course you ~ the Other, my co-progenitor, whom I love.
Let us make passionate love and unite again,
And subsume our cosmic child back into ourself.
How long can we bear this infinite, eternal, unconditional love?
At last we meld again, and are One.
 And there I was, alone in a void at the center of a universe that had strangely ceased to exist...
              APPRENTICE GODS, by Jane Roberts


In April the gods rise

as all religions teach

in their tales for children.
In winter the gods sleep
and close the million leaf eyes
through which they peek,
the green peepholes
through which they look
into our world.
In winter the gods take their voices back,
but you can hear their soft murmuring
far off before they speak
through the green tongues of the grasses
through which the gods secretly
send their messages.
In April the returning gods
bring festivals,
local magicians delighting the populace
with their apprentice god tricks;
divine troupes of conjurers,
eath-tuned, earth-bound,
wandering Apollos and Athenas
grown up since the world was young,
dazzling spirit bogglers,
turning winters into summers,
dying and returning,
shouting, "I'm here…No, here!
See I died and yet I live
and you can too."
They play hide and seek with us
through the centuries,
perform disappearing acts, wear masks
miraculous in their complexity.
"Look, I'm here," and a white robed god
appears on a mountain top.
"These are my commandments,"
and apports of clay tablets
swirl to the feet of Moses.
"No, I'm here, bearded,
triumphant with my sword."
"No, I'm here, drunken with joy,
playing flutes in the dizzy hills,
beguiling the grapes with my abandon."
"Here I die on a cross,
dear children, cry,
but ah hah, I rise before your eyes,
no strings, see, and float into the sky,
so rejoice and dance the spring
into its million resurrections."
What tales they spin,
what dreams glowing
in the theater of our minds,
as returning the gods roll out
the props of the centuries;
devils, soldiers, kings and queens,
churches, priests, and alchemies,
rich and poor, murderer, thief,
and civilizations that seem
to rise and fall.
All this for us? Do we play roles
while wandering earth gods direct
and others watch?
Do they clap their hands
and thunder rolls across the skies,
shout, "Let there be light,"
and curtains rise,
reptiles flash their whiplike tails,
and smiling fish rise up from the seas?
Do apemen and apewomen squat
in caves just put there in the dark,
offstage, but soon to move to center place
when a stagehand says,
"Let there be men?"
Yet I think not,
for how like us these earth gods are,
yet next to us, superstars,
dramatizing us beyond degree
and running off with the show
as vicariously we watch
them play our parts.
How dear they are and how we love them,
our giant children,
projected out into a universe
with powers that are ours and yet are not.
How we follow their pursuits,
shouting for our favorites
as they go racing through the ages,
cavorting among the stars,
blessing our friends for us,
confusing our enemies,
fighting our battles,
praising cardinals, gurus, and saints.
How we write their histories,
proclaim their sacred books---
Indian, Hindu, Christian, Jew,
each singing with the breath of truth.
Yet how were they born?
From what loins and womb?
What great uterus stretched
open between universes
dropping out our world,
you and me and gods and all?
What cosmic parcel,
Pandora's box
or surprising apport fell
from other worlds to this?
What master magicians
taught our gods their craft?
If you look behind the sleight of hand,
and refuse to be distracted
by the tales,
then other images emerge behind
the gaudy guises our gods wear.

THE OCTAVE, by "Mikey"

Let us remember that we are all one

Beginning and ending in the central sun

This octave of experience is a single beat

To the great logos that fills all space with heat

There are as many universes as there are beating hearts

It is a timeless mystery how it even starts

Fire, Earth, Water and Air

Learning to be, to exist, just aware

Plants and animals then begin to move and grow

As a diversified creation is added to the show

An ape eats a mushroom and becomes self-aware

Now it must choose, "Do I hoard or do I share?"

Choices polarize as you accept or control

You don't graduate until your choice is made whole

As love is perfected you then learn to create light

Balancing them together the rainbow returns to white

And when you become humble enough to surrender thy will

You coalesce back into the ocean of the silent and still

       (Name of poem unknown) by Jalaluddin Rumi


You've no idea how hard I've looked for a gift to bring You.
Nothing seemed right.
What's the point of bringing gold to the gold mine, or water to the Ocean?
Everything I came up with was like taking spices to the Orient.
It's no good giving my heart and my soul because you already have these.
So - I've brought you a mirror.
Look at yourself and remember me.
                      EAGLE POEM, by Joy Harjo


To pray you open your whole self
To sky, to earth, to sun, to moon
To one whole voice that is you.
And know there is more
That you can't see, can't hear
Can't know except in moments
Steadily growing, and in languages
That aren't always sound but other
Circles of motion.
Like eagle that Sunday morning
Over Salt River.  Circles in blue sky
In wind, swept our hearts clean
With sacred wings.
We see you, see ourselves and know
That we must take the utmost care
And kindness in all things.
Breathe in, knowing we are made of
All this, and breathe, knowing
We are truly blessed because we
Were born, and die soon, within a
True circle of motion,
Like eagle rounding out the morning
Inside us.
We pray that it will be done
In beauty.
In beauty.
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