remembering you.

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Louise on May 16, 2012 at 9:34am

Wow Salvia ey! lol at that I did Salvia once what a mad one I laughed continuously the whole time it took effect. I forgot I was even in my own garden, crazy stuff much respect. Was going to do it again but whilst out in nature maybe I still will one day up somewhere like Glastonbury Tor that would be a good place to do it. Your journey of remembering you sounds as though it was a good one ;)

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by joey heart on May 16, 2012 at 5:00pm

       It was a 10x 3x extract form that you need to use a torch lighter because it needs to be hotter than flame, it has best results when you use a water pipe.

        I took the biggest puff i could then slowly started melting back into the couch, but something went wrong. the whole world started skipping like a scratched cd, then next thing i knew i was being pulled up to the adjacent corner of the ceiling by some unseen force at a slow and steady mechanical pace. I was grabbing the couch but the couch came with me. then all of a sudden me and everyone in the room with me were stuck to the center of the room which had turned in on itself to become a sort of revolving room, but to where it was turning i was scared. there was nothing there, as it turned and my arm went first i couldnt see my arm anymore, i started panicking trying to lean to the side of me that was still there, this whole time everyone was looking at me and encouraging me with lighthearted laughter. next thing i know there is no me. no thought no nothing. no time no matter no personality.

     After what could have been ions if there was time I had a thought. i was jubilant, if all i was to be was a thought at that i was happy for then. then i started to loose track of things and found myself slipping back into nothingness because there was nothing left to hold me there, i got scared and wanted to be me with everything i am. right then i felt compact like i was in a shell and i could feel a body around me. i started breaking my fingers through the top of the shell, that's when i started hearing voices talking and laughing.  they were saying stuff like here he is, just like you to be late to your own party hahaha. i wasnt in the mood for laughing because as they helped me get out of my shell i immediatley recognized where we were.  it was a place i used to go in reaccurring dreams as a young kid. in my dreams it always looked like i got there a hundred years after a huge party,dust and dirt everywhere and there was always a cow in the bedroom. it was the same place but i was at the party, and they said it was for me.

        I felt a little rude for how excited they were all to see me I was starting to freak out. they were doing the hey i miss you so much you have no idea and all i could do was start asking how do i get back i dont want to be hear yet. they all had the atitude of you can go back whenever you want i just want to say hi. So when they saw me starting to get sad they rallied up and let me know that if what i really wanted to get back to my game of illusion they would help me. At that time I was ready to get back in that I was starting to forget where I needed to get back to.  Then with their combined positive intended thoughts of help they helped me to see, I was looking through my lives trying to remember which one I was coming back to. you would think it would be easy like they would be organized first to last but they were all jumbled up and mixed together, at one point I was beginning to think that I might not be able to figure it out. And then my future, better looking, cooler, happier, more powerful and wise me started in on me again. Which I could see was just out of love, he felt sorry for me. He was obviously taking to this better than I was, he seemed so much stronger. 

         He started making jokes that were unlocking personal perseptive keys for me, he was sayin'" Ohh, first you show up late to your party and now you wont even stay to say hi to all these people who are here to see you??" and all the ones who really knew me well in that way started laughin with him and there were others that were just trying to send me positive understanding. He says," don't you think thats funny, this is your humor." he smiles my smile of love and affection and laughs, but i don't want to laugh even though I plainly see the great humor and love in his bantor.  "I hust want to go back to the life that I was living at the point at which I was at in it" i thought loudly and quitely. I could have gone back into another one of my lives or to the same one i was in but just at a different time if i wanted to forward or backward. They started to help me to remember when and where and who I was.

       My other me was trying to convince me that I could stay if I wanted to and rest and someone else could fill my shoes untill I was ready to go back or I could just stay for good. I told him that I thought it was awesome he was adapting so well cause maybe I would be him one day but for me it was scaring me to walk out like that and to start to loose touch on where and when and who I was because I had made a lot of promises to people that I wouldn't leave them alone in that illusion. He says," You're sure you want to do this?" "Yes I say." he says okay and as he is going back to the party I feel someone standing right behind me so I turn around. Then I am in a different body (still me) but I'm standing behind me and I grab my shoulder and right as I am grabbing for myshoulder I am back In the me in front and I feel someone reaching to grab my shoulder so I turn around and then shoot back into the other me. As I'm chasing my tail everything around me starts turning into a technicolor dashes and slashes of light and right out of the middle of the room my friend adam pokes his head through the light vortex. 

           I start crying with happiness," Oh Adam, man I didn't know if I would ever see you again.I didn't know if you were even real, oh man I'm so glad to see you." He very reassuringly says it's okay man everything is okay just take a sip of this glass of water. I say "What water?" then kind of far away i see a glass in his hand. It's in a very dim lighting and hard to see, then I see a hand reaching for it and even though I'm so far away from it I know it's my hand. then i see my head but I'm not in it.my hand grabs the glass, i can see it happening through holes in the light thats surrounding me into a dark dim world. Then as he lifts my hand to my mouth because I couldnt find my mouth I take a sip which kindof puts me in my body. I'm still floating away though, then with another helped sip i was able to gain access to my body again and started seeing more of the room around me. then another sip and i started seeing my other friends and the couch underneath me. For twenty or thirty minutes I had trouble staying in my body I kept floating off. 

          My friends, when I asked them what I did from their perspective said that I never said a word, but just sat there and they were talking to me but I wasnt there. then they said after that I got real scared looking and started climbing the walls backwards like the exorcist.  They said I had the look of a scared newborn baby ape who was seeing the world for the first time.

          I connect more with the future me now than the me I was then.

• ▶ Reply