Hello dear hearts! I am very new to the 'awakening' process. Until very recently I was simply a vessel of creativity, passion, empathy, yet confused and not really knowing or understanding. I believe I may be either an incarnate angel, a re-incarnated angel, or cross breed of some sort. I hope I will find this out soon with the help of you my new friends :)
A bit about me:
I was always a very sensitive person and have always had weight issues. I tend to over-eat a lot, and I'm surrounded by 'troubled' people whom I'm constantly trying to help. I am a singer and songwriter and possess what people call an 'angelic voice'. I always felt I am a music messenger meant to uplift and inspire through musical expression and I have ALWAYS been attracted to angels, science fiction, and what people would call the 'fantasy world'. I have had a lifetime of emotional trauma which seemed to climax with the sudden murder of my younger brother through police brutality in September 2005. My father died 3 years later in July 2008 from Diabetes and Heart failure. After recoiling into my shell for a while and dealing with some 'dark times' I suddenly felt the need to be more aware, to learn more, and to be more in tune with the universe. I have always loved the earth and respected her. I make eco-friendly, handmade products like soaps and body products as a hobby which recently turned into a business so that ultimately I am able to fund and support my musical purpose. I am currently married to a high-functioning alcoholic.
Recently I began experiencing physical symptoms - digestive problems and severe joint pains. This led me to 'become still' and to start my healing process. I do not medicate myself with man-made medicines but only with natural therapies involving plants, herbs, and organic materials. I am now in the process of detoxification and 'cleansing' my body. This started in February of this year. By June 2012 I had developed a deeper desire to 'soul-search', to learn more and to become 'aware'. I'm always up until late hours reading about the stars, the pleiadians, earlier civilizations, and 'light' theories. The music album I am currently working on is called 'Music Messenger' and I only recently found out that the word 'Angel' also means 'messenger' how cool is that! I am so excited to feel that I am actually about to find a place where I belong and people who understand me. When I was about 19 I think, I had a dream involving an ArchAngel who shot an arrow into my foot, accusing me of being stubborn and needing to be 'grounded'.. this was followed by a higher spirit being (of male orientation) who told me how the human race just 'didn't get it'. I am 32 now and have gone through a long period of 'unconsciousness' which seems like it's coming to an end now. I am particularly drawn to the ocean and have had visions involving water and the sea. My ethnic name (associated with the Tuesday I was born) is also associated with the ocean. I hope I will be able to make sense of all these. I need to know where I'm from. I've taken the quizzes and fit the description of 'incarnated angel' almost perfectly even down to the health related issues. I have struggled with PCOS and issues with borderline Diabetes. Still I seem to carry certain other traits like my love for the arts and performance and my deep connection to earth. I am Taurus. I'm looking for my friends, guides, and helpers. I am attaching a photo of myself (I like this photo even though it was taken on a day when I was very tired :) Please help me to remember. Namaste.
Much love Marianinia! thank you for your insight. Namaste
I just posted this in the Incarnated Angels thread but I will post it here as well:
Yesterday while receiving some Reiki healing and meditating I felt a tingling and burning sensation in my back especially the middle right area (right side of my spine). This week I have slept more than I have in a very long time and I could sleep all day long :)
I think one of my dogs is seeing things. The last couple of days he's been barking at nothing.. well that's what it looks like, and last night I had a dream with this particular dog in it and the spirit of my father was talking with the dog. I have four lovely doggies but Jambo (the dog in question) was the only one in the dream. Let me mention here that Jambo is castrated. I saw a couple of other dogs in the dream but they weren't mine. We we were all on a very high sort of rooftop. It was so high up I was scared to go close to the edge. It seems I had taken Jambo to a TV station for some kind of dog show but I myself was not allowed into the 'studio' it was my dad who went in there and I could hear him talking to Jambo and commanding him. I was hanging out outside on the 'rooftop' and last thing I remember was sitting on the 'floor' of the rooftop because I was feeling very scared of falling.