No Family Support, I Hate My Family

I am a wonderful mother and I take damn good care of my daughter but my family likes to disagree with me. My mom thinks my parenting isnt good enough and tells me my daughter doesnt need to be around me and its not healthy for her to be around a depressed mother. She treats me like Im mental when I make sure my daughter is well fed and has everything she needs and I play with her all day till shes tired and ready to take a nap. My mom tries to take her from me every chance she gets and everytime I say no she will tell me I am depriving her from being a normal girl or Im creating an autistic child which makes no sense because autism is genetic and my daughter speaks and is a very verbal and playful kid.

I hate how rude my mom is to me, she degrades me with the neighbors are over at the house saying Im not a good mom and she degrades me by telling her friend whos a social worker that she thinks IM not a good mother. Even my sister is convinced that my mom is right because everytime I try to take my daughter to bed at 8pm my mom says its too early and she says I want to lock her in a room which is a lie because I stay in the room with my daughter when its her bedtime and I play her cartoons for her till she falls asleep. Today I decided to bring her to bed at 7pm because she was very cranky and my mom yells at me that its too early and my daughter doesnt need this or that.

I yell at my mom that I am my daughters mother and she has no right to degrade me and treat me the way she does. Im sick of her and the way she treats me, I hate my mom and I hope I can get her out of my life as soon as I can. She such a hateful, judging, and religious manipulative person.

Im so stressed and I feel like breaking something or slapping my mom in the face because I hate her so much. I wish I could make her hurt as much as she hurt me.

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Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 12:53am

Oh my, I just asked about your daughter, on your other post. Seems you were picking up some of my questions as you typed. So you are living at home, and your mother considers you to be a failure in life. Watching cartoons together is not alone time with your daughter, but this is what I've seen young parents do, when they don't want their child to see how upset they are. This is not an easy time for young parents, especially young single parents. Try to plan joyful times with your child in the presence of people who like you and approve of you. You are the one your daughter looks up to, so be Wonder Woman to her, when your mom is practicing mean speeches, instead of feeling that you are worthless. Take her hand and go to another room, or calmly out the door if the weather's nice. You don't have to be rude to your mom, but be firm in saying to her "Not now, Mom, we have something special planned, back to you later." It is her own sense of failure that causes her to lash out. You are a child of God and he loves you every moment of the day. He does not heed your mother's remarks about you, and neither should you. If she is in contact with your child's father, all the more why he will welcome to see, for himself, what a good mother you are. It's possible that this is a time for you to discover his compassionate side. He was too young for fatherhood when you were pregnant. Perhaps he's changed. Try to see him as a brother, not as one who rejected you and ran out. Your are both young, and the new person in his life has reached out to your daughter, and maybe to you, if she is aware that you have a shrew for a mom. We can all related to that. It might be time for you to uproot from the mom from Hell. Offer to make the trip. Maybe it will turn out to be one way.

Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 8:20pm

Neck not long enough for head to reach ass. Not a giraffe or a house pet. Cartoons are an escape for the overly stressed, when you want to cry but can't. Hold your little one, and tell her that the cruel words are gramma's way of crying for what happened to her when she was little child and felt unloved by her mom.

She may not understand your words but she will understand that your are not upset by your mom's grief.

When your child is asleep, go to your mom, if possible, and tell her you are sorry she is feeling so upset. She might lash our in anger. Stay calm. Hear her out. Reassure, with any kind words that come to mind.

This will release the anger you are feeling, for whatever abandonment you experienced, as a small child.

Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 10:34pm

Cartoons are not a bedtime activity, but an escape from the criticism of your mom. Bedtime is a time for closeness with your daughter, when you reassure her that her world will be safe.

Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 10:42pm

I volunteer at a retirement center, where elderly who are losing their memories share their happiest memories with one another. The joy they feel when sharing memories helps them cope with life.

Volunteer work might help you feel the joy of those you help, which is the best medicine of all.

Being old and in good health is a blessing, regardless of the other circumstances of one's life.

Natural food supplements are the only medications I take. GNC stores supply a pure source.

Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 8:43pm

I am more than three times your age, and everyone who is under age 30 seems, to me, very young.

My mother was afraid of me when I was little, afraid that some day I would embarrass or hurt her, because my arrival was unexpected, and unwelcome, during a time of family grief.

Each of my parents abandoned me to die on separate occasions, certain I would bring harm to them.

I was saved, each time, including from drowning when I was five, left alone in an angry surf.

Those who mock the angels who look out for us, or twist their messages, know not whereof they speak.

Children your age with little ones will be rescued, if an upset Sun spews dangerous rays in our direction.

Connect with a family like yours, so you will not feel so alone. Families Anonymous can help.

Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 10:53pm

I am a published family therapist with an advanced degree. I feel honored and respected that you read what I write.

The words that you use to reply let me know that, even though you are in pain, you are thinking about what I say, on the chance that some of it might help you protect your daughter.

You are incredibly gifted. I have looked at your page.

Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 9:17pm

Moving busses know to steer clear of me, since I sometimes unknowingly walk where they are heading.

If you have the faith of a mustard seed, you may say to the bus, if you happen to see it before it sees you: "Change direction please, for I appear to have arrived here first." Don't try it without an angelic connection.

My picture is me with my five year old grandchild, who is adorable, and adoring of her mother and me. I am old and ugly but not overweight or male.

Fucking is something I rarely do these days, not that I have many opportunities. Not possible with self.

Permalink Reply by Nancy A on July 4, 2012 at 11:08pm

I've looked at your hater's blog. The little dog is quite cute. Animals are sensitive to our moods, great companions, never judging us except for an occasional complaint if they get hurt.

Female dogs are called bitches, you know. Not sure why it's a swear word when used to describe female humans, or to describe a bad attitude about something.

I bitched at my landlady's son, today, because he wants to raise my rent, gave me 30 days notice because I refused. He's frustrated, hasn't been laid in forever, not likely, ever again.

I'll see if I can send him the video of the little dog on your other blog, make his day complete.

If I move out I won't be able to sit with him or his mom at the ER for hours, every now and then.

Life is a bitch, not a female dog of course, just a perpetual challenge.

Permalink Reply by Assiya on July 4, 2012 at 12:59am

be the love that you desire for others................it's like magnet , will attract like so I'll say stop hating and start loving

Permalink Reply by Assiya on July 4, 2012 at 3:02am

yes, you are right it is easy but not just to say it, I found it relatively easy to do...............................I,ve been reading your posts around here for months and I countinue to see plenty of relative negativity and your refusal to actually consider good advices and pointers. Sure, someone would say it's easy said than done but it really is quite simple to change ways; it only takes determination and commitment which I believe you not only lack but what seems like refuse often.

And now again, my thoughts are with you but it is up to you only to change and better your life, not us, distant internet chat lines. Your posts seem to call for help but only real truth and reality check "might" help.

Permalink Reply by Assiya on July 4, 2012 at 5:44am

.................................of the way you talk to me..............talk real , don't we want that ?................. you had called me names before , only becouse I gave honest opinion and advice based on your posts . Seems that my honest suggestions are not met with appreciation , only hostility; well that happened before. I want to help but you need to help your self , based on this particular post. I don't want to just post sympathetic responce to your "pains", it is actually extended hand of help that I offer.

Let's remember one more thang, you asked me for friendship , again~like a 2nd time in past months~so I suggest we get real'like my advices on your posts.

I never stopped Loving you as a person but you always leave this kind of comment after :

.......................you know what I think of you ............!...."

Permalink Reply by 3smn7ct05z5dx on July 4, 2012 at 9:31pm