Hello. I'm kevin.
I've been learning to hold a channeled state while i live and walk the walk instead of just talk the talk for a while now. I was surprised how easy it was to do once i just let go, and stopped trying. But I'm faced with a dilemma. I think i could hold this state forever now, and I'm not so much scared, but concerned.
See, i want to be free. Me is we. I see that clearly. But i also want the things that were promised to me when we made this pact of unity. I swore off of physical unity long ago to find the infinity. Now that i have achieved such, i keep having dreams about this woman i feel i know, somehow. I actually desire physical unity for the first time since i was a teenager, and it's confusing me.
I was told to avoid such to hear clearly and see what i need to see. Now i feel like i can do anything, but how do you all find the time for living in service and having a personal life. Maybe even, personal love? I still remember the sun setting in front of us as we gazed into each others eyes and promised we'd come together again, somehow, no matter what happens.
She looked Japanese, best i can tell. As did the building. The mats pretty much confirm it for me as well. I was drawn to japan long ago. Back before i swore off of unity, actually.
Japanese music, especially drumming, has always resonated with me, and i remember finding simple peace with her. I desire to find her again, but this message takes up every second of my life now. I shall never turn back, but is there room in this life for us to be allowed at least one selfish desire?
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Permalink Reply by Kevin on May 14, 2012 at 1:12pm Ah, just what i was looking for. I've been finding it hard to find a good channeling site, so once again, open to the universe....
Thanks.
In light beyond white.
Permalink Reply by Feather Winger on May 14, 2012 at 2:25pm
Permalink Reply by Kevin on May 15, 2012 at 6:38am I understand the intent to help, and i do not mind people making me look at myself more through debate, but i simply cannot agree with the mentality of "there is no happy fluffy land of bliss and unicorn farts out there for you. Its all just a delusional fantasy." as I've seen my share of people convince themselves it's all a waste of time, all a delusion, and i disagree.
And that is why i believe in live and let live. I may have misunderstood, as the majority of the message was clearly well intended, but i refuse to allow a brother or sister to dwell in that empty hopelessness and merely wastes an incarnation. Snap out of it and remember why you started this journey. This is another trial, if you truly believe there is no peace at the end of all this.
Because i know perfection is a personal concept, but i believe an imperfect (for good reason!) perfection can and will work. True freedom without suffering. It can be so. Never lose faith in this, please!
Permalink Reply by geonic on May 17, 2012 at 5:38pm blow bubbles. . ?
thats what were trying to become, isn't it?
. . or perhaps we do that already. . hehe xD
chill chill. . is not just an extraordinary bad sense of humour. . pause and ponder my super nonsense :p
(when you have time. . )
Permalink Reply by Kevin on May 18, 2012 at 5:11am I think all of this debate is relatively constructive and i support this deeper questioning of reality.
But at the end of the day we all see things differently in some ways.
And this is what it's like when world's collide.
Permalink Reply by Kevin on May 15, 2012 at 3:50am I believe in live and let live. I follow my heart, although you're not the first to claim me a "new ager".
I personally observe that you've suffered a lot in your life and feel bitter about many things. Never give up hope, as there is a place of joy for each and every person out there. I know it. If your faith ever slips and you find your negative emotions sapping your strength away, borrow mine. Even when you can't find yours mine is always here.
I have become a living philosophers stone. How deep down did you go, truly? Perhaps it just takes longer than you realize....
Beware the taint of past lives ended in woe. We forget some things for a reason. Because they can halt our growth. This does not have to mean this entire incarnation is a waste....
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