Fellow ACC members, brothers and sisters of the Golden Age,
this weekend turned GNARLY ugly sad car wreck feelings
my wife finally broke down and told me that all the OFF THE WALL stuff I am into...
books on Arcturians, Syrians, Pleiadians and Jesus,
Archangel Michael, cosmic Websites with Angels, scattered addresses on my desk, one of which is Bill Brockbader's Jail address so I can write to him, video tapes on Alex Jones
and my constant leaking from my mind,
dribbling statements about how the IRS is going to be gone soon or that the Federal Reserve is going down, vanishing along with humanity's need for money.
oh oh oh,and
and the out of your fucking mind statements about Bush and Blair tried for being War Criminals and going to jail soon...the seminars I sign up for that are SPIRITUAL Woo woo...she thinks David Wilcock looks like a lunatic...my hero..she calls a lunatic...
.So I have been HEART/slammed like a force against a steel wall,
the force of an enraged VENUS, a terrified female/wife/mother/mate.
She says our 12 year old daughter is also scared and they are both watching me get farther and farther away from them, a vast divide opening wider and wider...
HER SUFFERING, FEAR, ATTACHMENT, CONFUSION AND BEING MOSTLY LOST in a sea of worry of LACK, that if she loses her husband, the bread winner, she loses her security. Her love for me suddenly sits second fiddle to her overwhelming state of terror, as she watches me change before her.
How many others are going through the same sudden family meltdown?
I was told by my spiritual mentor from Santa Fe. not to count on anything like an EVENT to suddenly happen that would likely let her finally see that I am telling the truth,
no, I was told, EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE...... that who am I to Question GOD and his timing?
Does GOD wear a wristwatch? This is GOD"S BUSINESS, not mine, so focus on my own light.
She also said for me to take a FAST from the internet,
and devote myself entirely to the spirit of my 12 yr old daughter, who is torn and confused and also terrified, not so much of what I am alluding to in the skies above us,
but terrified of a break up of her parents.
I am advised to write on paper, letters to the souls of my two girls, and explain what I am becoming,
and how they will soon find peace and bounty, etc etc...whatever I want to say..
....then I am to ask Jesus to take the messages to their souls when I burn the paper I write the letters on..
burn them,and know that their suffering souls at least got the message I wanted to tell them.
I am advised to DISENTANGLE MYSELF from the Dark, to pay attention only to the light,
and to shine as bright as I can,
and not to become distracted...either by the internet or the suffering of the soul of my wife,
for I am not to water her garden, but to stay on my side of the garden fence.
Tend your own garden, as each soul tends to their side of the road and theirs only.
Her soul never gave me permission to try and change her, or awaken her.
But in my egoistic, paternal and loving manner, I want her suffering to end NOW,( I also do not want to move out of my home!)
so I pray for an EVENT NOW, please GOD...if she changes Grrrrrrreat! If she looks up and sees a light display of 100 flying saucers over Manhattan, and says...those silly weather balloons again...then I know its time to split.
Dear GOD, I can feel the pressure building up, its causing the water to vibrate around me as
I tred water in this churning Matrix and getting all GNARLY. Its like a the biggest BOMB ever is just about to blow now, like any day, any hour, any minute. Take a deep breathe I know..
Silas, so right on..I have also been advise to clear out all my spiritual stuff, or at least anything
that exudes ALIEN subject matter, as that is the most bizarre for kids to see, and wonder what the hell
Pops is doing with so many piles of books and videos on Aliens..Got to remove it all from their view.
love ya Silas, thanks for the response.
yes so right,
my parents split in 1990, it was terrible ! not a good time at all BUT you plod on somehow and get through, then i meet my ex who is from a solid family back ground, but when i went into the house i could sense the bad feelings between the mother and father and then the children, they would often judge me as i must have looked like some kind of misfit sitting at their table for dinner !!!!!!
but i would just let the comments bounce off me, cause at least my family were honest and maybe split up, but both my parents are with new people now and are very very happy,
but then me and my ex fell into the same pattern his parents were in ..... and i could see myself in the marrige for ever, and if i had have been truely happy i would gladly have stayed but the marriage got worse, so in the end i said the marriage was over, and after weeks of rowing he left the home,
we did grow apart and also we were on different wave lengths, the family unit is well odd !!
yes, its safe .....
You're exactly right. He should not forget his wife, that is wrong, she is part of him and they joined into a love contract and should stay together. My family and friends mostly thinks I'm nutty, so I have for the most part laid off, and just plant the seeds like you say. If things start to happen like the criminal cabal bankers being arrested, which is going on right now, then you can say something. I started with saying that and it did happen. So when something happens bring it up to them.
Love makes no contracts. It is either freely given or it is not love.
How I understand you LiLStar, my mother calls me "Antonita the Fantastic", who is a feature from a series of children books and she has a lot of imagination. I don't care, I was born in the chinese year of the Fire Horse, and no one can put me down, Ha, Ha.(and to help it, I'm a Sagitarious, a very expansive and optimistic one), I'll tell you that my enthusiasm is contagious and I like to spread it around.
So they have surrounded long ago, and start thinking that I could be right...
Besos for you Estrellita
Well said, Audie!
I'm rocking you in my arms, trying to comfort you. Feel my love, dear one. things will go their way and you will grow with them. Don't fall in desperation, you'll see that it won't be so horrible in the end if you split. When I divorced from my husband, both of us stated that we would keep the good things we've shared, and forgive the reasons made us divorce. You know what , we became brothers and lived together longer than married. Now his new wife is expecting a baby, and they've asked me to be the godmother. Don't fall in the drama, take the steering wheel of your life. I'm placing a "Love Mill" in your home, and it is a ruby, amethist and gold one. It's beginning to spin really quickly. You have here a community that understands you perfectly well, lean on us.
Love, kisses and hugs for you
Oh you are a sweetheart, and I am rocking in your arms, and I thank you for your loving thoughts.
Just to see if your wife is really the person you wanna be with, you could store your books and and the rest of your "New Age" stuff somewhere else, maybe at your working place so they are not too far from you, and check if that is the only point that disturbs your relationship, what do you think?
I hope today you feel better, but I still keep you sitting on my Goddess lap (how humble I am, ha, ha).
Hug you in your heart.
My good man,
this is one of those places in life where - as you can see in here - people don`t dare to speak much because all words seem idle. The avarage human feels he has come to an end, where even language has no fitting ground...
Sir, what you are about to experience - and I went through a similar shit too - is something you have absolutely not in your hand. It would be indeed reasonable listening to your wife and daugther and focusing on their needs and fears, and I do not doubt you know that. And you know also that this is not the way you feel you should do, for you know it is not the answer you are looking for. You finally have come to the point where others would say you must DECIDE what you are looking for and so forth. Is that really the case? Have you come to an OR-ELSE gate?
Let me torture you for a while. Are you aware of what you love in your family? What is it that your wife mirrored you? What does it mean for you being a father?
And now that your little family is protesting against you - do you feel as victim of a great misunderstanding? What do you think why your wife has no clue about your thoughts and beliefs?
When have you recently touched her face tenderly, have smelled her lips and body, have told her I need you because I love you? Has she become a burden to you lately?
Again - have you come to an OR-ELSE gate? Are you a computer build on decisions? Have I bought you finally to puke now? Yes, you may puke, and if I would dwell close to you, I would allow you to come over trying to fight with me, and I would stand it and then sit with you and maybe cry. And I would maybe call you a damn asshole. And time goes by and you will get calm. You will feel your mind again.
Have you ever thought about the possibility that love is never made on decision - the OR-ELSE gate - and all people telling you, you`ve go to decide are in fact wrong? I ask you now to think about that. LOVE IS NEVER MADE OF DECISION...
Do you love your wife, sir? Don`t say yes without knowing! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT WE ONLY KNOW THAT BY FEELING? Put that in yout pipe and smoke it - all we know which has meaning in life we know from the heart! We simply know it or not. No decision, no force, no compulsion, no "I don`t know" - you simply know it.
You don`t need to know what comes around next, for we can`t know it, it is impossible. But what we can is loving. Loving is knowing by heart.
And with this you can put some interests of you aside for a while. You don`t really need any of those fancy pages like GFoL. You not even need your computer. And listen - you not even need your wife. You need only to love.
Can you go with that in your mind to her and say help me? Help me to understand? I need your hugs and kisses? I need to be a father?
There will come a time, sir, where a calm mind is resting in both of you. Then you might think about decisions. Decisions are made only in times of calm minds, you understand? All other is senseless!
Now go and sit besides her and see what happens. Go and do not think about anything. Just love...
And YOU, Sir, are wonderful to take so much time to comfort and guide another soul spinning in a vortex of awakening, awakening to love? Is that what is happening to me? Your ultimate advice, to sit by her side and not think about anything else is beautiful. I thank you for your healing comment, and I am sure so many other people going through similar "hiccups" or total life changes, will read your wisdom words with gratitude.
I posted this because I wanted help, so I feel blessed to get it so rapidly from so many loving people here.
You are indeed a friend.
very good advise and eloquently written.