Failed Ascension Mission?

My synchronicities had led me to a person, who actually I wasn't led to, but joined in as an intern where I worked. All kinds of synchronicities, from the 11:11 co-incidences, to her aligning entirely with my life,and all that I had experienced so far. However, it was a disaster from the word 'go', 5 months later, I've lost the same job, She finds me an imposition in her life, and there are more synchronous events, like the discovery of this page : http://blackdogstar.blogspot.in which aligns perfectly to my life.

The strange part is that I find myself sandwiched, and kind of.. squeezed in between my synchronicities, my will to resolve this conflict with this person, and her having nothing but absolute disdain for me, in this moment.

I've lost the very job, I've lost my friends, I've lost the time in this golden year that could've been utilized in meditation, and helping others, because I blindly followed the signs and forgot about everything else.

I feel that my ego-mind is so active that even when I try to meditate for extended periods of time, the ego reacts, and disallows me from connecting with my higher self, because as far as I could THINK it, I have, and I've also had my cousin, who's an indigo child tell me that I've had some brain damage from this 'exercise'.

I possess a calm frame of mind, because ultimately what I've come to realize is that NOTHING is paramount, however, I feel like I've failed my mission, and I don't fear anything really, just disappointed.

Insights?

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Permalink Reply by DRACO on June 14, 2012 at 6:16pm

I feel the same way and I think everyone eyes does. I think we have all been let down by false promises and that this year was meant to be full of great change and transformation. so far I have not seen anything new.

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Permalink Reply by Trinity on June 16, 2012 at 4:26pm

DRACO, I couldn't agree with you more. I haven't seen any changes, no arrests, that were promised, no difference in the people around me. Salusa's messages have become so repetitive that they are hardly worth wasting time over. If nothing happens by 21 Dec 2012 then I will know that we have all been duped and I am giving all this up.

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Permalink Reply by tentinyturtles on June 14, 2012 at 6:25pm

trails and tests.......thresholds to cross over and through......I sometimes feel like I have failed in my mission and feel disappointed, but then you have to change the thinking around it.......failure only exists in 3d thinking. failure I would guess is not coming to the expected outcome as you internally set it up for yourself or producing the desired outcome. but I also believe that spirit can be plucking strings behind the scenes in a way that you might not be awaire of.......also the most successful people "fail" and "fail" again.and again...... what is that proverb....fall down seven times get up eight.....

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Permalink Reply by Starseed on June 15, 2012 at 11:14am

hey there 1111 numbers are driving me crazy

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Permalink Reply by j&k twinflames on June 18, 2012 at 5:34am

u wrote this life path for your soul to grow and evolve and learn , so beautiful soul go and grow evolve and learn ,acknowledge your lesson thank the person who is helping you learn it and work through it with love and lite ,forgiveness is the key , forgive your self and the other person and make changes so u dont have to learn it again

love & lite

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Permalink Reply by Phaedron on June 18, 2012 at 2:08pm

You are traversing the maze of synchronicities, if you have failed then why would any of it happen? There is relief in knowing that all things happen for a purpose, no coincidence. Unfortunately you have reached a dead end, and now you will have to navigate back and find the next path to explore. Keep searching, and keep growing. In life there is no stillness, all things either grow or decay. It's not about reaching the top of the mountain, its about constantly moving forward, in which case you will ascend well beyond the top of the mountain. If we withdraw the light of our attention, we become rusty and out of practice. All things either grow or decay. Or as Jesus said in a veiled way "He that has will be given more, he that has not will lose even what he has." You "have" therefore you will gain more, unless you fail this test and forsake your ascension.