Every time i have something to look forward to i expect it to happen and always am disappointed. Somebody elaborate on this and help me out please. Also how do you not expect something when you planned it?. I always get disappointed, because i'm always expected and then i spiral into a negative mood, because i'm worried if i'll see this person, or if the outcome will be right. I really need help, as this is something that i have yet to really master over my life. Thankyou, i look forward to hearing your thoughts.
...dont have any expectations...so the problem is solved..
there is a big difference between expectation and faith. Expectation is a mindset of the ego, where it demands something and expects it to occur, adds an aspect of negative emotion to it for 'if this event doesn't happen then....". Faith that it will happen is a different story all together, you use a different part of your brain and use your heart more than your head. If you have faith that an event will occur and take expectation out of it altogether, it is far more likely to occur because there is no expectation, there is no kind of negative energy floating around to make it not happen. If it doesn't happen for some reason, there is no disappointment because there was no expectation, only an understanding that it wasn't meant to happen at that time for reasons out of your own control. Faith is from the heart, it is driven and lead by the heart. Expectation with of the ego, of the brain which is told to expect rather than to find for yourself. I'm not sure that I've explained this correctly but give it a thought or two, you never know what you might come up with :) Good luck.
Hi Wisdomisinneed, It has been my experience then one lives in expectation of a moment based on others expected to help create that moment, it is bound to create disappointment. Expect only from yourself, as you are more likely not to let you down, and consider that by living in the moment instead of waiting to live in an expected moment, you become in control of your happiness as it is based on your choices. Each and every moment, and there are so many moments in a day, are yours to create. You can be happy, sad, at peace, (insert emotion here)... Take time to quiet your self and really see, touch, taste, smell, hear ~~ sense all that is around you. When you take in each moment and make it your own, those special moments will be spent in pure enjoyment, instead of concern that it wasn't what was expected, or feeling that the moment will be gone to soon. Just a thought. ~~Peace~~
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.....the middle way.....
Here's a few questions for you that may help resolve your inner issue. Are you trusting in other's faith or yours? Would the truth still be the truth even if you were the ONLY one on this planet that knew it? And lastly, are you running on your own clock, or somebody elses?
Very evolved realization...
Now look at all relationships with others and how they have been impacted expectations? I have not yet mastered expectations within romantic relationships...
Expectations limit creation in all forms.
For best results, Stay within the moment that is "Now" - Perhaps you'll attain a elevated plateau that doesn't have the significant dips and rises that highly influenced by expectations.
Some cheats that have helped me...
-Everyone is doing what they need to be doing
-"This too shall pass" - especially when you're experiencing mega bliss - it has nice carryover when you are low...
-All is in perfection!
In the book, Converstations With God, the author tells us "Expectations Ruin Relationships." That wisdom has helped me tremendously through the years. If you expect NOTHING then you will never be disappointed. Watch yourself - be conscious of your expectations and STOP having them. In a short time - your outlook will change. When - now and then - a person actually comes through - you will be delighted - beause you have no expectations.
Let's see if I can gather some wisdom from my writings.
Expectation is an attachment to the future.
Attachment, as we know, is suffering.
So with expectations not only is one attached, one is also living in the future instead of living in the now.
Expectations are the antithesis of being in the now. They are about living in the future.
The root cause of expectations are beliefs. And, in my definition, beliefs themselves are emotional attachments to knowledge. That knowledge itself may or may not be false.
So from which ever angle you look at it, attachment is lying as the root cause of it all.
Attachments spring forth from fear. And fear comes from a lack of understanding of self, of nature and of the universe.
Generally speaking, attachment and its cousin fear, run deeply through most of humanity, on many levels.
Some very visibly, others are completely invisible to the conscious mind.
In the case of looking forward to something. Ask yourself the question why exactly are you looking forward to it.
What will it do for you. And then when you have your list of things that this event/person will solve. If you are depending on this event/person to make you happy...you demonstrating the fact that you aren't harmonious within yourself and that you need external intervention, ie you need to give your power away in order to feel happy...that's one example.
See if you can solve any of those things on the list by yourself or in collaboration with others.
Very little has been left undone in this way.
Also, keep your power within you. As soon as you are effected by an external event, stop yourself and realize that the only reason why you have been affected is because that particular event/person has brought up something within you that you constantly do not want to address. And because you don't want to address it, you give it to others to address for you.
But they cannot, no one ever could, at least when it comes to the internal workings of the soul.
Some will even use this as an opportunity to enslave you. Which, ultimately is what expectation is, self-enslavement to a belief.
There is a point where you reach complete detachment from the drama, when very, very little stirs you in a negative fashion. Aim thither.
Be flexible like water, for that is the only way to carve your way through mountains of granite, that life is.
Yet, have enough elasticity within you to bend any which way and you will surely find your way back to sea.
It's well to have a magical feeling of "Expectancy" in each moment, but not specific "expectations". Each moment confers its own gifts but you may miss them if you're looking forward to only one defined event/relationship/outcome to occur. Be like the child at Christmastime and revel in the mystery, beauty and presence of the season. But if you're expecting one specific present, you may forfeit your ability to enjoy both the present moment and all the various gifts that are presented to you.
Oh, well said =)