I never really post about politics in the least bit, but this is just down right hilarious.
Apparently everybody is getting in touch with their higher selves (even if it takes a few drinks)
Here is a taste:
SEWARD, NE—Claiming he wasn't afraid to let everyone in attendance know about "the real mess we're in," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke reportedly got drunk Tuesday and told everyone at Elwood's Corner Tavern about how absolutely fucked the U.S. economy actually is.
Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking establishment at approximately 5:30 p.m., ensconced himself upon a bar stool, and consumed several bottles of Miller High Life and a half-dozen shots of whiskey while loudly proclaiming to any patron who would listen that the economic outlook was "pretty goddamned awful if you want the God's honest truth."
"Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you."
And hell, as long as we're being honest, I might as well tell you that a truer estimate of the U.S. unemployment rate is actually up around 16 percent, with a 0.7 percent annual rate of economic growth if we're lucky—if we're lucky," continued Bernanke, nearly knocking a full beer over while gesturing with his hands. "Of course, if everybody knew that, it would likely cripple financial markets across the entire fucking globe, even in various emerging economies with self- sustaining growth."
And on a side note...I can't believe Ben Bernanke drinks Miller High Life...the U.S. economy must really be hurtin' (jk)
Hahaha...too funny. Love that comment somesayimnot!
Hilarious! True words! LOL! you made my day with laughter!
"And hell, as long as we're being honest..."
There is nothing I can possibly think of that would make me believe Ben Bernanke to be a person of honesty!
Thats the point. It rather looks like yet another attemp to draw a doom & gloom future...
Yep, nothing but doom & gloom!
I doubt that Ben is in touch with his higher self : )
This is hilarious. It really made me chuckle, and actually I do believe that he might be expressing what he feels as truth. Sometimes liquor can act like a truth serum, and to me his divulging that things are truly grim economy wise resonates as truth. I am sure his words will come back to haunt him when he reads them and thinks.....my god what have I said and done!
Haha I love the onion, very funny!
If only it was true !!
"The Onion is an American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news, in addition to a non-satirical entertainment section known as The A.V. Club."
It's totally fake guys :)